Rambing: I'm not doing so great...


Comments • 6 329

  • Susanna Lansley
    Susanna Lansley 23 days ago

    Puck: “If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumber’d here, while these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream.”
    Midsummer Night’s Dream, V.i.425-430

  • Susanna Lansley
    Susanna Lansley 23 days ago

    Hope is awesome 👏🏻

  • Lucy Rodriguez
    Lucy Rodriguez 4 months ago

    I’m late to this one, but, thank you for doing everything you do!! Love ya, Boogie!

  • Hilary Tsai
    Hilary Tsai 6 months ago

    I can't believe people donate money for talking about your lifeXD

  • Mr. NumsNums
    Mr. NumsNums 7 months ago

    I been getting notifications from other TheXvidrs for some reason,anyone else.

  • Screw The Net
    Screw The Net 7 months ago

    Some say this is a dream for all of us, matrix, etc. You are as real as the rest of us Boogie. Far as I can tell, we are all alive, and alone only in the existential sense. Be well ^~^

  • Le Spaz
    Le Spaz 8 months ago

    Im so weak and miserable compared to you Boogie, but Im afraid about you wish I could do somthing for you when I hear you talk all I can say from that far... Stay strong and hang in there!

  • Matjaž Debernardi
    Matjaž Debernardi 8 months ago

    Existential crysis. 💁get your hands on some books, you're clearly neither dumb or ignorant, read Sartre, Camus, maybe somewhere outside under a tree... It will keep your mind at bay/entertained and hopefully some guidance/hope trough this hard time, stay healthy! Love your stories and I admire your genuinity and the way you tell them!

  • Christine Smith
    Christine Smith 8 months ago

    God bless you brother I'm proud of you

  • Chris Mccoy
    Chris Mccoy 8 months ago

    this is all a dream lol come to west Memphis bro we can hang!!

  • axiomvp
    axiomvp 8 months ago

    You did not die sir, they just plugged you into the matrix.

  • Kaiden Schwartzkopf
    Kaiden Schwartzkopf 8 months ago

    Thank you for talking about this and telling us your feelings you didn’t have to do this and you did and that could be painful for you and I really feel bad for you and I hope the best for you really.

  • SO 18
    SO 18 8 months ago

    well ur dog is very cute so u have that (:

  • George F
    George F 9 months ago


  • Ben Kaplan
    Ben Kaplan 9 months ago

    Hey, i'm 27 , I was obese till i was 21. I weighed 330lbs ( not nearly as much as ur highest) but smething hit me and i lost 120 lbs in a year with no surgery just jogging and calorie counting.. Around this point I started to live life for the first time, I;m told im good looking but body dysmorophia fucks with me too. Around the age of 22 I had a psychadelic experience and experienced death i believe, i was convinced that i'm stuck in an infinite loop. I begged for it to go away and let me just dissapear. when i awoke i felt like the donnie darko bunny thing, you know? as hes watching this predetermined bunny. I was convinced I had died. Few months pass, i forget about the thing and actually managed to see the beauty in life. I had fallen in love with a girl and things didnt work out so well. I started experementing with other drugs. First adderall. it made me feel alive. I loved it and I was confident and others noticed it too, I felt like a stud. Then i couldnt sleep because adderall is basically meth. So a friend intrduced me to downers, Painkillers. Oxycontin to help me sleep. slowly but surely it graduated into a heroin addiction, a year later my brother dies of an overdose. (alch and xanax mix) i spiraled hard. i weighed 170 lbs but it was noticeable i was a junkie. I've been struggling with the addiction ever since. im on methadone and at night i drink entire bottles of vodka just to knock me out because like you, i couldn't sleep. I put on 60 lbs in 4 months. I often wonder if im in hell and made a deal with the devil to get me out of that spiral. I cant believe how far i came and how low ive sunk. I'm going back to exercise and calorie restricting but I know that one day I will die with a relapse, I don't know if its tommorow, or in 10 years. I feel as if pandoras box has been opened . Boogie keep at it . I will hopefully pick up the pieces of my life back up, and manage to see the beauty in life again.

  • Close2CMusic Music
    Close2CMusic Music 9 months ago

    I hate to click the like button on a video of you not being as happy as you deserve to be bro. But I did anyways brother love u man your gonna be fine

    • Close2CMusic Music
      Close2CMusic Music 9 months ago

      Also I don’t live far from you man. I’m in Searcy Ar. If you ever need anything man holler at me.

  • Danny
    Danny 9 months ago

    What a pathetic excuse of a man.

  • dramen
    dramen 9 months ago

    Hopeful FTW

  • Knights of Notch
    Knights of Notch 9 months ago

    Ooga ooga nigga

  • Jack Holland
    Jack Holland 10 months ago

    I love you boogie

  • Adam Coco
    Adam Coco 10 months ago

    You're an amazing inspiring person Boogie

  • Stickman Zed
    Stickman Zed 10 months ago

    This channel is always full of some grim worry that makes me think.

  • randal
    randal 10 months ago

    I don't know if this helps but it's not a dream😞

  • Antonio Cortes
    Antonio Cortes 10 months ago

    The discussion of the algorithm and how it has dominance... that is such an insightful realization. So many layers to that.
    Great vid

  • bigbassjonz
    bigbassjonz 10 months ago

    Boogie, hearing you say this is really eerie to me. I had a major surgery in 2008 and was forever changed. Often I wonder if I actually woke up in a different reality or if the anesthesia killed part of me.

  • neontetra1000
    neontetra1000 10 months ago

    Boogie would make a good radio voice.

  • Ericsurf6
    Ericsurf6 10 months ago

    Boogie, you`re making good money I think. Move on with your private life. You can pull women easy I think. Keep your spirits high.

  • Hannah Ayala
    Hannah Ayala 10 months ago

    I'm a newbie to your videos, and just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy them so far~! :) I love your honesty, it's a true gift.

  • craig parsy
    craig parsy 10 months ago

    Keep going bro hopefully you get on top of this TheXvid stuff.

  • kyle carson
    kyle carson 10 months ago

    for what it;s worth, | like the videos when you are yourself....cause I can use a friend sometimes too. Glad to see your doing better considering your plite.

  • Isaiah Harbison
    Isaiah Harbison 10 months ago

    you are great

  • Maximillien Pegasus
    Maximillien Pegasus 10 months ago

    Cut that bitch succubus completely outta your life Boog, she was a leech anyway, perfide creature

  • EpicestFaceGamer
    EpicestFaceGamer 10 months ago

    I hope the absolute best for you. You are one of the nicest, funniest, and overall greatest people I think I've ever seen on this planet. You've been through so much yet you still manage to get through life everyday, which is admirable beyond measure. Keep doing everything you do Boogie, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that not having you in our lives would be a huge detriment. And as you said, even if you're not in the greatest state mentally right now (physically you're improving very well), everything's gonna be okay in the end. There's no doubt about that. So keep living life, and soon you'll be enjoying it like crazy. I can guarantee that.

  • RegularDude
    RegularDude 10 months ago

    you do look healthier and your new haircut suits you well so at least you got that going for you

  • Myst Platinum
    Myst Platinum 10 months ago

    holy shit you actually look so good now! keep it up!

  • brownbandito7
    brownbandito7 10 months ago

    5:45 you are spike spiegel from cowboy bebop!

  • Tea Time
    Tea Time 10 months ago

    Damn everyday I can relate more and more to you. I believe I died a few years ago bc ain’t no way I was lucky enough to survive the accident I had, but I feel like I’m in an alternative universe. I can’t explain it.

  • Ruslan Mashinov
    Ruslan Mashinov 10 months ago

    Boogie bout to steal all the chicks. Keep working out, even after you get to a reasonable BMI.

  • Cat 3D
    Cat 3D 10 months ago

    Don’t worry too much. You can be very proud of what you have achieved by now.

  • Munser
    Munser 10 months ago

    boogie is the only guy on yt that honestly tells us he feels just like most of us too

  • Christy Ellison
    Christy Ellison 10 months ago

    I've never played computer games, never really been a fan. I follow Boogie for blog videos.

  • Ogrelin
    Ogrelin 10 months ago

    The old u DID die on that table, this is the new you! :)

  • MegF
    MegF 10 months ago

    That's an interesting point about working to please the TheXvid algorithm as your job. That would be a difficult customer for sure.

  • Suzan Vaughn
    Suzan Vaughn 10 months ago

    I seriously want to offer my services to you. I use a form of therapy that gives immediate results and changes lives for the better. Confidentiality is of the upmost importance. And no, you’re not crazy.

  • Will
    Will 10 months ago +1

    You know boogie when i split from my girlfriend of 6 years, the first 4-5 months felt like time travel when i came out of it, i kept being unable to believe or accept that it was april because it seemed like i just went into a cocoon from early december to april, those months just passed me buy with no usual focus on it being winter or cold or christmas or new year. Like a horrible night mare, but yeah, the same as you. When your mind is so focused on one thing everything else just blurs.

  • Anthony Soto
    Anthony Soto 10 months ago

    Get well soon boogie.

  • ZeeNavi
    ZeeNavi 10 months ago

    Thank you, you are helping me so much. Thank you thank you thank you.

  • Renzo Lockhart
    Renzo Lockhart 10 months ago +1

    There's some extreme DEJA'VU here

  • Coffeebean1985
    Coffeebean1985 10 months ago

    I wish you all the best, man. You are a worthwhile, lovable person, and you have every right to feel depressed or angry at times just as you have every right to be happy.

  • Brendon Souza
    Brendon Souza 10 months ago

    Boogie my man! Every time i go to see your video you look better and better! Keep up that work you put in man

  • iamsuperbrad
    iamsuperbrad 10 months ago

    Hang in there mate, i'm in a similar boat to you life wise (relationship wise) but it'll get better. You're looking better, hopefully everything will get easier soon :)

  • Gooniegoogle
    Gooniegoogle 10 months ago

    No woman is worth 3 years of pain and depression after they leave you. You miss the routine and life you had. Not the girl. The girl could have been anybody.

  • Genxtasy 99
    Genxtasy 99 10 months ago

    Another DSP

  • michaeldavis2585
    michaeldavis2585 10 months ago

    What's real about your videos is you don't sugar coat anything you keep it real that's what makes videos ,your changing lives everyday u share your life we are all the same

  • ZBO BG
    ZBO BG 10 months ago

    Perf video

  • Alvaro Neto
    Alvaro Neto 10 months ago

    You're holding up well against the odds, buddy. I am happy to see how much you've managed to accomplish. I am 36, I've also been through a lot, panic disorder, fibromyalgia, I went from an active, good looking young man who worked out everyday and practised three martial arts to a sick guy who felt like an old man with so much pain that it was very difficult to move from my bed to the bathroom. I've gone through that suffering for a few years, then life changed again and I'm almost back to my regular life now, still feel some pain but it's bearable. Change is inevitable, losses and hardships too, but we can have the strength to adapt if we really put our hearts into it and keep optimistic and hopeful. I know it's easier said than done, I've been there, but trust me buddy, you're not living a nightmare. You are presenting yourself with the opportunity of change, of waking up living a new life and looking back through all the hardships and thinking to yourself: "How good it is to recognize how much I've grown as a human being, how much I've learned and got stronger through those daring times." It is amazing how much we are able to learn from suffering, through adversity and through our own weaknesses. One day you'll realize how much of a better man you've become, how much better you'll be to also be able to experience your life with someone who will also have grown to be so much better over her own bad experiences, only to be able to, from that moment on, share that positive energy and love. Sometimes we feel adrift and lost in what seems to be a wrong and never ending track that leads nowhere, only to find out that we've been there so we do not get lost again when we do find the right one.

  • KiRAWRa
    KiRAWRa 10 months ago

    Hot dang I wanna win that boof bing bong ding dang dong

  • Rowlo Eightyeight
    Rowlo Eightyeight 10 months ago

    Going to be okay, future tense, not present tense!

  • Rowlo Eightyeight
    Rowlo Eightyeight 10 months ago

    Boogie you are so valued by this community. we love hearing from you and how much you have influenced this platform. Yes we might not all be millionaires, but I like to tell people that I am the richest person in the Universe because I have Jesus in my life :)

  • The Canadian Girl
    The Canadian Girl 10 months ago

    New subscriber here. Happy I found you! Keep going! Love from Toronto ❤💛💚💙💜

  • Chris Heald
    Chris Heald 10 months ago

    Even with all this connection the internet provides, even with the people around me, I have never felt so lonely since I split with my wife. Lonely in a crowded room. You never really understand that part of it until the chewy, nougat center of your world is gone.

    UNKNOWN 10 months ago

    Nobody watches boogie anymore

  • Jon Schwartz
    Jon Schwartz 10 months ago

    I know you may never see this but if it gets to you some how, consider looking into MGTOW content creators on youtube. I’d personally recommend TurdFlingingMonkey and Terrance Popp. They have a lot of insight on dealing with divorce and red pilling men who have suffered through the financial rape of divorce. I don’t know 100% of how your situation played out but thankfully you got out of it without having kids involved and I know a lot of young men look up to you and could really learn a lot from your experience because the first thing you need to understand is that it’s not your fault. The incentive for women to seek out divorce in western society is so high that it can and will happen to anyone. TurdFlingingMonkey talks a lot about self actualization as an alternative to seeking validation or approval from women or gynocentric society. You are self actualized, you have something you can focus on and be great at, I would recommend watching TurdFlingingMonkeys “Zen of Zero Fucks Given” series to really put your outlook on a post divorce life into perspective.

  • sonjajade
    sonjajade 10 months ago

    Body dysmorphia (from surgery) and depersonalization (from anxiety) are not a good combination. Make sure you're still seeing your therapist and stay strong!! Things really will even out eventually. You've had a lot to deal with all in a short amount of time. Big hugs to you!

  • Alexander Ruta
    Alexander Ruta 10 months ago

    Love ya boog. Just so ya know. ❤️

  • Shake N' Bake
    Shake N' Bake 10 months ago


  • Immy Khan
    Immy Khan 10 months ago

    U need a back bone transplant. Man up and stop crying

  • KammiTheKiller Murderwear

    you don't even look like your youtube avatar anymore, thats awesome. Be happy the coma period is over- it SUUUCKS but you'll come out on top

  • drinkinginbaguio
    drinkinginbaguio 10 months ago

    First time to comment here brother just be You.

  • NalgaFaces213
    NalgaFaces213 10 months ago

    You should consider yourself lucky. You do not have to wake up everyday and slave away with hard labor. Stop crying and be happy with what you have left. She could’ve taken the dog too. Some of us have lost more.

    • Immy Khan
      Immy Khan 10 months ago

      NalgaFaces213 its so tru. People complaining that they can stay at home and make loads of money than having to get up at 5 am and work 10 hours for near minimum wage. If he had to do that he would prob off himself

  • NalgaFaces213
    NalgaFaces213 10 months ago

    Boo these videos suck. This channel is starting to die

  • Wiip
    Wiip 10 months ago

    you ar the best!

  • EtherealDragon
    EtherealDragon 10 months ago +1

    Dropped a like for the BING BONG!

  • Guy Fieri
    Guy Fieri 10 months ago

    175 pounds? Damn, you weren't kidding about the whole "Benedict Cumberbatch" thing, huh? lol

  • Larry Collins
    Larry Collins 10 months ago

    It took me years to get over my ex-wife, even when I was with other ppl, it's been 20 yrs, and sometimes I wonder if it'll take me dying to not feel the pain, don't get me wrong I don't sit around thinking bout her everyday, but there are times when a single tear rolls down my face, just try to take care of yourself only u can do that

  • Joshualacruz
    Joshualacruz 10 months ago

    I want a bing-bang!

  • Joshualacruz
    Joshualacruz 10 months ago

    Lol you make this algorithm sound like an tyrant God 😁😅

  • bigstackD Casting
    bigstackD Casting 10 months ago

    I love ya boogie but You’re sitting on a pretty good thing right now ,you get millions of views every month earnings thousands a month and really you just sit there Talking to the camera and then edit and upload.i don’t mean that in a bad way but you do complain a fair bit about TheXvid And the way it works when TheXvid saved your life . One of my videos can take me easily all day to do and it’s extremely dangerous As I’m working with molten metal at close to 2000°F and i only have 6k subscribers and I might only get 1000 views per video (before you say it’s because my vids are shit it isn’t it’s just I’ve only been uploading just over a year and it’s very slow going) The videos are good and done well plus edited perfectly it’s just I only have currently a small audience that watch it but it’s slowly growing. I think you should just enjoy the gravy train mate don’t stress so much about youtube you have the subs and support so you’ll be great . ive been here since Error 36 and I’ll be here and watch you religiously for ever. Take care my friend. Don’t forget to gimme a shoutout to help me grow if you ever view my channel and like it . My channel is 100% kid friendly 👍🏻😁😉

  • MissNebulosity
    MissNebulosity 10 months ago

    "How does this video make me feel?" It gave me a very comforting sense of normality. I'm tired of reading facebook and seeing how everyone is bragging about how their lives are perfect. Boogie, you make me feel normal, and that feels so good.

  • Rosie King
    Rosie King 10 months ago

    Keep your head up! Life gets better!

  • Michael Huravitch
    Michael Huravitch 10 months ago

    Boogie, you feeling like you've died or that this is not real life, could be derealisation (DR/DP) usually brought on by anxiety which i suffer from and i know you suffer from, i went through a really hard time in my life with mg DR (Derealisation) it will pass, don't worry Boogie but maybe talk to you're therapist or try talking to a trauma specialist.

  • Ashley Smith
    Ashley Smith 10 months ago

    My girlfriend just left me after just over a year my previous relationship was 6 and a half years so I know how you feeling this one's killing me at the moment.

  • Carnerd101
    Carnerd101 10 months ago


  • Tourourous
    Tourourous 10 months ago

    Boogie you gotta keep going no matter how hard it goes I know you already do that and I really hope your life gets better you just have to be patient
    My wishes go with you dude..

  • Boston Towny4life
    Boston Towny4life 10 months ago

    Dude hit the gym and start hitting the weights so you can get ripped and find yourself a good looking woman.

  • Jayce
    Jayce 10 months ago

    Profound stuff man. Existential evaluations. Maybe yes, old Boogie did die. The new boogie is you who is a rising phoenix from the ashes of the old.

  • Caz Smitten
    Caz Smitten 10 months ago

    I love you Boogie!

  • Inside the Empire
    Inside the Empire 10 months ago

    You are my rolemodel man... Iam not healthy either. Have back problems like Hell on Earth. But you did something Incredible and iam a Failure in my Video making so yougive me strength at all time brother. You are a good man dude keep up your good work and stay Focus.

  • Elise B
    Elise B 10 months ago

    Hang in there! All creative jobs are great and (on the downside) erratic, fraught, and stocked with soulless decision-makers (even when these are not an algorithm. That said, yeah, that's pretty Kafka-esque! Like I said, hang in there.

  • Blind Prosopagnosiac
    Blind Prosopagnosiac 10 months ago

    Seems unnecessary to provide a disclaimer when describing your struggles of everyday life. Hardships and their impact can vary with different people. Some individuals living in their mother's basement rent-free are on the verge of suicide by dealing with a disturbing past and a severe lack of motivation. Others live in a war zone and are starving to death. Simply because someone's definition of 'struggling' is working a "real" job and living paycheck-to-paycheck, does not invalidate your personal issues.

  • BigDaddyCool42
    BigDaddyCool42 10 months ago

    You make TheXvid videos. As far as jobs go you have an easy dream job.

  • Dakota beck
    Dakota beck 10 months ago

    Boogie i love you man but you have to understand everyone around me is struggling 10x more than you and its not even their fault. You need to understand that making complaining videos is not gonna help you. You need to be more positive youre a freaking millionare man. ARE YOU ABOUT TO GET YOU HOME FORCLOSED ON YOU? NO so chill out and just quit youtube if its so stressful and invest your money in realestate and other things that generate passive income and then you can relax and live your life making six figures a year off of your investments

  • Sapo de la Cruz
    Sapo de la Cruz 10 months ago

    Keep strong boogie, you are doing great

  • Attila Vidacs
    Attila Vidacs 10 months ago

    Is this a pity video?

  • TheZifrit
    TheZifrit 10 months ago

    Love you too man. You make a difference in the world, atleast for me. Gives me hope and inspiration.

  • Arturo Oppen
    Arturo Oppen 10 months ago

    I'ts not really that crazy, things like that occur to many people for as long as they have a minimum of abstract thought and can observe reality from an existencial perspective. What is, indeed, reality, when you can tell for sure dreams can totally fool you into beliving they are real. Anyway, I can tell for sure I myself I'm living that reality dream as well, and given I'm not you that means there's at least two of us :P

  • TaZe clan gamer
    TaZe clan gamer 10 months ago

    Can I have 100 like it's my b day

  • Ciara Catsi
    Ciara Catsi 10 months ago

    It makes me smile seeing how loose your clothing is now. :)
    Also, you're one of the handful of TheXvidrs whose channels I visit, so it doesn't make a difference if your videos show up in my sub box ^___^ I always stop by to check anyway ❤

  • James Smith
    James Smith 10 months ago

    Honestly these are the videos of yours that I value the most

  • Max Um
    Max Um 10 months ago

    Congrats on the hard work.
    Keep it up.
    You got this.