I Lived Like a Billionaire for a Week

  • Published on Jan 13, 2022
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    I followed "The Billion Dollar Morning Routine" for a week to see if it would turn me into a billionaire...you won't believe what happens.
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    thanks for watching!
    comment "dang ur alpha breath stinks" if ur reading this
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 8 614

  • Sally Newman
    Sally Newman 4 months ago +13618

    Kurtis’s house is much more stylish than I imagined. I guess I forgot that he lives with another human being and is an adult man with money. I just assumed he lived in a mostly empty flat with a gamer chair and a mattress on the floor.

    • Elise
      Elise Month ago +1

      If he didn’t have a girlfriend he would/j

    • •Mooshi Shroom•
      •Mooshi Shroom• 2 months ago

      first youtuber to have a gf

    • Rekirsch 1
      Rekirsch 1 2 months ago

      same lol

    • MaverickBull
      MaverickBull 3 months ago +1

      With the views he has... I imagine he's making min 20k a month so...

    • SYD ‘
      SYD ‘ 3 months ago +2

      @Jay Quinn yesss I envy their house sm😫

  • z. spinney
    z. spinney 3 months ago +3330

    My husband is a personal trainer and he has explained the physiological benefits of going from really cold to really hot (ice bath then sauna and repeat) but I cannot stress enough how little I care about that because cold showers are Evil Incarnate.

    • Khaled M.
      Khaled M. 7 days ago

      Cold showers are super relaxing. For me initially before I started cold showers I would stay like 30mins to an hour every time I take a bath, I would take so long because I would get lost in my thoughts. It got to the point where I would tell my family "hey, I'll help you out with that thing after I take this short shower" and they would reply "nevermind, I need help now not in an hour" and just like when the MacDonald's clerk started to recognize and give me "the usual" I knew it was time for change.
      So I started doing cold showers, immediately I could see the benefits instead of taking like an hour I would finish in 3 mins because "f*ck this, god it's painful". A problem started to arise though, I would dread taking a bath instead of taking a bath for 30mins I would spend about 30mins in the bath trying to psyche myself up to enter the bath.
      So I started to modify the cold shower a bit. I would have warm water at the start and then when I am already in the shower I would drop the temp and end it with a cold rinse. Suddenly it was starting to click and my body was able to adjust to the cold and gradually improve.
      I think to get the best benefit out of cold showers you need to truly understand them, cold showers wake up the body and relax muscles. A cold shower after an intensive exercise is bliss. People also need to stop villainizing hot showers, hot showers make the body sleepy and similarly relax muscles they're best before bed. You can also mix and match showers within one bath, 1 minute very hot, 1 minute very cold there's alot of variations.
      Most importantly cold showers finally allowed my lizard body to adjust to the cold. My country's temperature casually goes to 70C (160F for the freedom warriors) so I was fully adjusted to the hot temperature, but when the temperature drops to 5C (40F) I would act like a lil-bitch. Now cold showers have allowed me to evolve to be able to resist scalding heat and freezing cold, I am invincible now

    • S. NickerdoodleApplePeep
      S. NickerdoodleApplePeep 15 days ago +1

      but going from hot to cold all of the sudden and vice versa makes you tired because of the drastic temperature change, that doesnt seem like it would be very productive imo

    • Byeon 변
      Byeon 변 Month ago +6

      *cries in lives in the hottest asian regions and needs cold baths to escape the jaws of heat stroke*

    • Valerie Barbera
      Valerie Barbera Month ago

      Omg maybe my little brother was on to something when he used to jump from the hot tub to the ice cold pool over and over again every time we were somewhere with both a hot tub and a pool

    • LL
      LL Month ago +1

      In German sauna at least, you're supposed to shower cold then jump in the ice bath. So I guess alongside washing off the sweat it also helps you easing in to avoid shock.

  • Cory Springer
    Cory Springer 4 months ago +5084

    As a certified dream interpreter, I can confidently say all of the dreams Kurtis described at 12:00 mean the exact same thing.
    Those dreams mean he was sleeping.

    • Iwalk Mygoose
      Iwalk Mygoose 23 days ago

      Yoo thanks that really cool I will reflect on this now

    • steebelieves!
      steebelieves! 29 days ago +1

      Master dream interpreter

    • steebelieves!
      steebelieves! 29 days ago +1

      Wow you are so smart‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥😭😭😭thank you for this information we couldn’t have figured it out without you omg

      WHOSARISA Month ago +1


    • Alix
      Alix Month ago +1

      @human bean this is true

  • Alexa Graham
    Alexa Graham 3 months ago +1902

    the crossover I never needed: kurtis and my boss (the narrator of the fucking morning routine video) 💀😭 I hate it here

    • Sophie
      Sophie 14 days ago

      Your boss is just flexing how much free time he has because he's a billionaire lol

    • Any Castanha
      Any Castanha 28 days ago +2

      Does he pay well? Is he hiring Brazilians? Lmao

    • UsualToaster268
      UsualToaster268 29 days ago +13

      i can’t imagine watching kurtis connor and my teacher just starts talking. that seems so surreal

    • P. B.
      P. B. Month ago +9


    • Miranda Coplin
      Miranda Coplin Month ago +67

      I saw ur boss speak at a science seminar so I was really confused as to why he was making billionaire lifestyle content (he never talked about being a billionaire when I saw him speak just the memory and brain health stuff) then I saw your comment that another channel uploaded the video 😂 thank you for answering a small question that would have bugged me for way longer than it should have!

  • cmm3699
    cmm3699 4 months ago +1054

    This dudes morning routine is almost exactly what I had to do everyday when I was in the psych ward.

    • Alayna ASMR
      Alayna ASMR 10 days ago +2

      @Captain of the Loser Cruiser he made life his grippy sock vacation 💫🫶🥰🤩

    • Captain of the Loser Cruiser
      Captain of the Loser Cruiser 18 days ago +7


    • ᏰᏒᎥᏖᏖ
      ᏰᏒᎥᏖᏖ 25 days ago +8

      Holy shit, you're right. I kept thinking: I've done this shit daily when I was in the booby hatch, and had this dude been too?

    • bread
      bread Month ago +22

      STOP LITERLALY the journaling, the breathing, literally most of it.. that’s why it felt so familiar omg

    • pyro
      pyro Month ago +23

      including the cold showers 😭

  • Jillian McQueen
    Jillian McQueen 4 months ago +4995

    Kurtis wearing a shirt that says be nice while body shaming billionaires Is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

    • DeathnoteBB
      DeathnoteBB 3 months ago +4

      @oats Body-shaming is bad, them being a billionaire is irrelevant. Most people who look like that are not billionaires, but can still feel excluded and mocked by it. You’re basically saying “Everyone who looks this way is disgusting”

    • oats
      oats 4 months ago +18

      @Brendan Green
      i'd rather use critical thinking then blindly follow a set of rules without question. if doing this just so happens to be more convenient, that's fine by me.
      speaking of virtue signalling, no one gives a shit about how much time you put into thinking about ethics.
      it doesn't take more then 5 seconds to realize being rational is better then having some sense of richousness over good principles.

    • Brendan Green
      Brendan Green 4 months ago +4

      @oats Personally, if you have a principle but you're willing to break it when it's convenient, you have shitty principles. I dunno, might be hard if you haven't thought about ethics for more than five seconds but want to virtue signal bout em.

    • oats
      oats 4 months ago +27

      @Better Betty
      it's strongly implied that "be nice" doesn't apply to shitty people. i'm not gonna be nice to some guy after he eats my son, am i? just use some sense, man.

    • Sir, I Love you
      Sir, I Love you 4 months ago +20

      @Better Betty shush

  • Sage Jennings
    Sage Jennings 3 months ago +841

    Billionaires: "Just work harder"
    The Working Class they've stepped on to get higher: *literally working harder than any of them have in their entire lives*

    • Kid Icarus
      Kid Icarus 4 days ago +4

      @Donnie Raczynski my guy you’re literally the working class

    • Priya Kamathprabhu
      Priya Kamathprabhu 14 days ago +8

      Donnie Raczynski how to lose brain cells in one second

    • Brendan
      Brendan 25 days ago +15

      Hey! Billionaires work really hard to exploit the the labor power of the working class in order to extract surplus-value and generate profit. It's unproductive, harmful work, sure, but you can be certain they will do everything to maintain and prolong the mode of production in place.

    • laur
      laur 26 days ago +39

      @Donnie Raczynski pretty sure i lost brain cells while reading ur comment.

    • Donnie Raczynski
      Donnie Raczynski 29 days ago +2

      the “working class” are often lazy and obnoxious
      i pity rich people because they achieved so much while most of us are just slackers who don’t wanna progress much

  • Drew Lester-Nieves
    Drew Lester-Nieves 3 months ago +713

    Not gonna lie, a lot of this advice is exactly what I needed to hear to improve my life. Not to become wealthy or a billionaire, but just to improve my quality of life. But the fact that these people give you these tips with the promise of wealth and success just by doing them is just a scam

    • kaltogi
      kaltogi 22 days ago +1

      Tbh yeah this routine seems very beneficial. Might have to try it myself and become a billionaire🤭🤭🤭🤭

    • Splash
      Splash 2 months ago +4

      agreed, i started meditating and journaling in quarantine and it helped me tremendously but u don’t need to do all these things to be successful

    • Lisa's Celine skirt
      Lisa's Celine skirt 3 months ago +27

      Most of these things are a part of solid routine, which is very benefitial for your health, but as you say, no way it's gonna make you billionare. And also most of the time they try to sell you shit while describing the routine. It's to seem like a "regular person" - the consumer and convince you, that you will benefit from said thing in your life.

    • Parker The Emo Skater Dude
      Parker The Emo Skater Dude 3 months ago +71

      I saw someone else in here make a really good point. It went something like " These types of billionaires do a good job at convincing people that doing the bare minimum in self care will make you achieve their lifestyle" and I completely agree with it. It really put the feeling they give me into perfect words

  • TheFangirlOtaku
    TheFangirlOtaku 4 months ago +800

    I'm a vivid dreamer so I love hearing the weird/cool/crazy shit other people do in their dreams. Kurtis's dreams are short and simple but still great lol

    • Moon Marionette
      Moon Marionette 13 hours ago +1

      My dreams almost never involve humans, and i'm always seeing them in like 3rd person perspective, there was one where i was some kind of worm and i could phase through walls and like have my soul come out of my body to move around, another one is where i was in like a normal metro at first but then it got teleported to a void and the metro became like an infinite maze, and the more you walked the more the inside of the metro started to look like an old submarine, eventually i found a portal that looked like old TV static, and going through it sent me to a place i know in real life, but slightly altered, and i actually was in a fake version of that place and had once again to find another portal to go back to my actual reality, and then after finding it i woke up. There's one where an alien with black shades instantly builds a mountain with a bunch of matresses in front of a door to trap me inside a room, and i just phase through the matresses anyways to leave and the dream ends, etc etc

    • Thine
      Thine 23 days ago

      i just dreamt that i was trying out clothes and was sending it to my friend via snapchat 💀💀boring asf lmao

    • The Queen Of Cringe
      The Queen Of Cringe Month ago +1

      I once had a dream where I was Mario, but instead of jumping on goombas and koopas, I was jumping on zombies in this decrepit backwater town.

    • emoyoongs
      emoyoongs Month ago +2

      @Schrodinger had the exact dream but its real

    • Navy Blue
      Navy Blue Month ago

      I had a dream where me and some people from highschool I don't talk to anymore were the next season of Dimension 20 (college humour's dungeons and dragons series) and the DM Brennan Lee Mulligan made fun of me for being bad at D&D... not a great dream ngl

  • Nintendold
    Nintendold 4 months ago +575

    I love how "and they look out for the little guy" is an actual punchline which doesn't need any explaining in order for us to know it's sarcasm

    • The Stammering Dunce
      The Stammering Dunce 3 months ago +31

      Unfortunately, billionaire simps do exist and they won’t take that as sarcasm.

  • Michelle Siregar
    Michelle Siregar 4 months ago +3044

    When Kurtis opens his mouth, you just know that he's gonna say something in his video !

    • Neil Weeks
      Neil Weeks 13 days ago

      Only ogs know this

    • lex
      lex 23 days ago

      you’re so right

    • picalilly
      picalilly 2 months ago

      @bang chan omg rightttt now I remember 😭

    • bang chan
      bang chan 2 months ago +4

      @picalilly its the "trying out nate gardners" thingy thing. i watched that video to fall asleep because its so lulling in the most kurtis way possible 😭😭

    • mumblebee
      mumblebee 3 months ago

      That’s insane, I never would have guessed

  • Tati Z
    Tati Z 4 months ago +387

    One of the things that I hate about the billionaire advice on how to go about the morning is that they are so dead serious about it. There's this tone of, "I've cracked the code of life, and that's why I have more money than I'll ever be able to spend in a lifetime -- because I get up in the morning and take some breaths while I push my tongue up and down like a real man; analyze the dreams that are clearly trying to tell me something important; take a cold shower and let the icy cold water run over my balls because it's the only thing that makes me feel truly alive; hop down the stairs like a newborn deer because a guru that I work with told me that it would help me connect to my inner child and that's important for optimal brain function in the morning hours; make a big brain smoothie and chug it so I get a brain freeze that I then melt with my brain's hard work as I journal about my goals, ambitions, and the feelings I'm gonna select from the emotion vending machine that I had installed into my prefrontal cortex, etc.".

    • Alayna ASMR
      Alayna ASMR 10 days ago +3

      This was a novel I’d rate 5 stars

  • Obelic
    Obelic 4 months ago +348

    I think the big question we are all asking and not just me, when is Kutis going full hairless. Full body shave and wax. Smoother then a dolphin. I think that’s what everyone is asking.

    • aphrodite
      aphrodite 5 days ago

      rapunzel is bald now...

    • rosiepnk
      rosiepnk Month ago +4

      @Obelic omg i love that drew gooden song !! 😍

    • Obelic
      Obelic Month ago +5

      @Fentastic Fen help, let me go

    • Fentastic Fen
      Fentastic Fen Month ago +9

      Smoother than Dolphin Man

    • U.N. Owen
      U.N. Owen 3 months ago +15

      Smooth as a greased ham on its way to the oven

  • Toastface
    Toastface 3 months ago +288

    "we're not human doings, we're human beings" - That is straight out of The Simpsons. S5E07 Bart's Inner Child.

    • PathfinderOnCrack
      PathfinderOnCrack Month ago

      After that? A human up?

    • Dennis Tran
      Dennis Tran Month ago +2

      @Isabel after that? A human STOPPING?

    • Isabel
      Isabel 2 months ago +12

      And what comes next? BART: “A human GOING!”

  • Sarah F
    Sarah F 3 months ago +113

    I recently learned that Bill Gates earns so much money per second that if he dropped a hundred dollar bill it literally would not be worth his time to pick it up

    • Aaron Newman
      Aaron Newman Month ago +6

      This I heard as well but it's incorrect when worded this way. It is true that the companies he owns earn him a passive income, where in the time it takes to pick up that 100 the companies made more.
      To say it's not worth his time is like he has his finger on a money making button that he can't step away from. Or like saying if he has to stop and bend over all his exploited workers in 3rd world countries have to stop working and pray until he is done.
      Since, his income is passive where in he makes money even in his sleep, dropping 100 dollars would be a 100 dollar loss for him and worth his free time to pick it up.

  • Artistic.X
    Artistic.X 4 months ago +27459

    Kurtis progressively looking more like an 80s Dad is honestly one of the greatest things I’ve watched for the past year.

    • Tin Tin
      Tin Tin Month ago

      He looks like an 80's older brother to me

    • strawberry froggy
      strawberry froggy Month ago +1

      haha you’re right!!
      oh my god you’re actually right 😟

    • tryzsta
      tryzsta Month ago

      honestly hes kinda cute tho 👀👀👀👀

    • Bored Artist
      Bored Artist 2 months ago

      Pretty sure Quark is a bot friends, as @SuperDuckyWho stated.
      Im not the first person whos said this but the look is great.

  • Julia
    Julia 3 months ago +201

    I am not at all a spiritual person or anything, but when I started meditating I really loved it. It really helps my anxiety and only feels a little weird for the first day or two.

    • Caldella
      Caldella 3 months ago +7

      Meditating can be good to help you settle and just sit with yourself for a while - as someone who struggles with a lot of self-confidence and panics from too much introspection. I find it particularly beneficial after a really hard workout. However, it can potentially make an anxiety attack worse if you try to meditate in the middle of one (learned from experience lol). I've found that the guided meditations just make me frustrated, too. The voice giving instructions just pulls me out of it and makes it impossible for me to relax. Definitely depends on the person.

    • Jaiden The Kid
      Jaiden The Kid 3 months ago +20

      Calming yourself down by meditating is always good for the psyche, and it urks me that it's very tied to spirituality.
      Slowing down and taking some time to breath just improves your mental health. There's nothing more to it, honestly.

    • Niphyra
      Niphyra 3 months ago +8

      I felt weird for way longer than that. So i just stopped.
      But i have adhd so maybe that didn’t help

  • Elly wuzzup
    Elly wuzzup 3 months ago +37

    Literally all the shit that this 'billionare' does in the morning screams I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. Literally. It's called at Billionaire's routine because they don't have to work. So glad Kurtis is roasting this It's ridiculous!

    • FLAN
      FLAN 3 months ago +3

      the guy who made the routine isn't even a billionaire his net worth is like 3 at most.

  • Toby Garfield
    Toby Garfield 3 months ago +178

    "That's the lie that they pedal to keep the system working in their favour."
    Thank you, I've been trying to find a good way to word this. You nailed it!

  • B4TheWar
    B4TheWar Month ago +11

    I love that the morning routine also has you guzzling down 3 different drinks with no solid food to be had, because billionaires get enough nutrients from all that alpha breathing

  • Holytitmouse
    Holytitmouse 4 months ago +6645

    Kurtis is honestly the only man with a mullet that i would trust holding my drink at a bar. Also, that hair is GORGEOUS

    • Kay-C
      Kay-C 12 days ago

      @Batman honestly I think him Theo Von & Johnny Craig (he’s a horrible person tho) looked good with mullets. & Bobby Lee too.

    • Kay-C
      Kay-C 12 days ago


    • Ara
      Ara 2 months ago +1

      Ik this is a joke, but also pls never trust any man or woman you don't know *extremely* well with your drink at a bar

    • kevin king
      kevin king 2 months ago

      What if he's sitting there like 6:44?
      Still a trustworthy face?

  • Flint Bits
    Flint Bits 3 months ago +133

    They make the barrier for entry look like it's not just being morally corrupt, but rather highly disciplined. It's a façade.

  • Luke
    Luke 3 months ago +113

    the booing at "we're not human doings we're human beings" despite it 100% being something kurtis would say is taking me out

  • Shantal2501
    Shantal2501 3 months ago +98

    The face he made “breathing” sent me into a fit of laughter every time 💀

  • dæon
    dæon 4 months ago +185

    the amount of brain stuff this guy does, makes you think billionaires are zombies

  • MarvelMozaik
    MarvelMozaik 4 months ago +4752

    Kurtis doesn't have to tell jokes anymore. He could just alpha breathe at the camera for 10 minutes and I'd piss myself laughing thanks

    • nikia c
      nikia c 3 months ago +3

      imagine my face when he said “it’s breathing time” and im thinking he’s about to gasp and he just starts ALPHA breathing

    • Ena
      Ena 4 months ago

      Bro same 💀💀😭

    • vashbnd7
      vashbnd7 4 months ago +1

      I am with you in this boat

    • Abby Palazzetti
      Abby Palazzetti 4 months ago +2


    • TSM
      TSM 4 months ago +1

      I think that's a medical condition dude

  • Octosimp
    Octosimp 2 months ago +38

    The science of this guy’s smoothie making process is just like me at 6 years old when I would put flowers and shit in my dog’s food so that my dog would smell nice

  • Knuckleb0ne
    Knuckleb0ne Month ago +24

    my favorite thing about this is that the rich dude sounds like he's making this up entirely on the spot. "the next things I do is .... uh...um...i make... a brain smoothie?"

  • Khaled M.
    Khaled M. 7 days ago +5

    14:22 Mediation is a skill that you practice, I used to get bored in the 3 min mark then after a while I was able to meditate for 10 minutes. Then I got lazy and stopped meditating and now I reach 6-7 minutes. Honestly meditating is really helpful, you don't have to do like 20-30mins even 5mins to calm down your nerves, reset your focus and allow you to re-prioritize your goals is very useful. Especially for a person with ADHD

  • Lizi Pearl
    Lizi Pearl 3 months ago +86

    Although this video is hilarious, I think Kurtis' last point about doing what works for you is the best thing to take away from it, because I find morning routines like this actually do make me feel good, but others might do better w a minimalist morning routine, and that's fine. I appreciate how Kurtis finds a place to input an actual pearl of wisdom amongst the humor. And how he roasts *everyone*

  • eggzellent
    eggzellent 4 months ago +5851

    as someone who works at a smoothie shop, i can say without a doubt that people order that exact smoothie and worse everyday

  • Katerina Klutz
    Katerina Klutz 3 months ago +44

    The tea you drank while writing in your journal has passion flower and kava. I use that tea with like 4 bags per cup when I am in places that have sever anti-drug laws. I don't drink, and am from Ca, but travel all over the world. That tea is my favorite option to get that sleepy/zoned out feeling when I am in Dubai or Singapore. It could have been making you even more tired. Expert tip though, if you wanna get high/low off passion flower and kava they totally work in larger amounts (ike 4-6 teabags per cup) or just get the actual plants in a dried form and brew the tea. Kava even makes your tongue and throat numb.

  • nikia c
    nikia c 3 months ago +58

    Kurtis is one of those TheXvidrs where I will genuinely give a wholehearted laugh throughout the ENTIRE video

    RINGOTHEMAN 9 days ago +2

    the most baffling thing about this routine is that yeah they're all nice sentiment, but also no one with a 9-5 job who's actively in the working class has the time to do any of it. as Kurtis said, this just proves billionaires have time to goof off in the morning.
    also, it was kinda funny to see Kurtis expose his caffeine addiction to us with the tea thing, lol.

  • Gabriel Arrhenius
    Gabriel Arrhenius 3 months ago +15

    Kurtis should now do his *OWN* morning routine, the one he made in this video!

  • TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans
    TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans 4 months ago +4293

    I’m just dying at the fact that while Kurtis is bullying these billionaires, the only part of his shirt you can see is: “Please Be Nice”

    • Darling Bunny
      Darling Bunny 4 months ago +9

      @Donnie Raczynski The majority of the proletariat work their hardest everyday, contributing to society the many of the things we take for granted. And the billionaires get the rewards, when all they do all day is relax in a mansion. If you lost everything due to misfortune, do you think they would care? They do nothing as homeless people starve to death in the streets. They do nothing as people die because they can’t afford healthcare.
      And you think these people are “superior”?

    • amy d
      amy d 4 months ago +7

      @Donnie Raczynski wow you’re so edgy and cool and counterculture and sticking it to the lefties and making the libs cry and #merica and #trump2020 and climate change is not real. The hilarity of your comments are honestly so ironic but you don’t even get it. Anyway, keep going, it’s def adding joy to my life to read bc you are literally a cartoon. Un-ironically.

    • perdition .
      perdition . 4 months ago

      and it probably says "please be nice to billionaires"

  • Vapingcat🐈🚬
    Vapingcat🐈🚬 4 months ago +50

    Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

  • Holly Starke
    Holly Starke 3 months ago +29

    Me and my husband are absolutely obsessed with your content ! You’re very relatable and we love that you don’t try to portray a false image of yourself!
    The humour is fucking top tier, god bless.
    We hope you and your family are safe and well for a lifetime !

  • Rock girl
    Rock girl 3 months ago +38

    Kurtis's hand writing looks just like I would imagine.

  • soiung toiue
    soiung toiue 4 months ago +15

    Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

  • milkamilla
    milkamilla 4 months ago +3192

    This morning routine is close to impossible for anyone who’s actually working hard and doesn’t have four hours to mediate, journal, read, and consume a variety of drinks

    • M
      M 3 months ago +2

      @An yee Bro i had been lying in bed for 4 hours already trying to sleep (with my phone off, I had taken the evening off because I was really sick) like don’t attack me. I didn’t hurt you. (You don’t know everything I’m dealing with right now)

    • An yee
      An yee 3 months ago

      @M just fucking go to sleep and stop reading comments. Like u can't sleep because u just wont put away your phone. Put it away. AND CLOSE YOUR DAMN EYES. like ofc u can't sleep when u are forcing your body to be awake. It won't fall asleep out of nowhere, you need to gave it a space. Dark room and closed eyes.NO PHONE.

    • M
      M 3 months ago +1

      Yeah like my morning routine consists of getting ready after not sleeping enough (I get up at 8), making coffee while I change and the drink the coffee in my very long subway ride and then I get one break at maybe 5 and then usually work until 12 and I’m home by 1:30am 😑
      This sounds kinda unhealthy typed out tbh
      (Right now it’s 3:30 am and I can’t sleep so I’m here but I need to get up in 4.5 hours)

    • An yee
      An yee 4 months ago +3

      JUsT wAkE uP aT 4 a.m 🤪

  • nica
    nica 4 months ago +39

    Why was kurtis so funny this video literally his funniest video to date

  • Khaled M.
    Khaled M. 7 days ago +2

    15:15 Cold showers are super relaxing. For me initially before I started cold showers I would stay like 30mins to an hour every time I take a bath, I would take so long because I would get lost in my thoughts. It got to the point where I would tell my family "hey, I'll help you out with that thing after I take this short shower" and they would reply "nevermind, I need help now not in an hour" and just like when the MacDonald's clerk started to recognize and give me "the usual" I knew it was time for change.
    So I started doing cold showers, immediately I could see the benefits instead of taking like an hour I would finish in 3 mins because "f*ck this, god it's painful". A problem started to arise though, I would dread taking a bath instead of taking a bath for 30mins I would spend about 30mins in the bath trying to psyche myself up to enter the bath.
    So I started to modify the cold shower a bit. I would have warm water at the start and then when I am already in the shower I would drop the temp and end it with a cold rinse. Suddenly it was starting to click and my body was able to adjust to the cold and gradually improve.
    I think to get the best benefit out of cold showers you need to truly understand them, cold showers wake up the body and relax muscles. A cold shower after an intensive exercise is bliss. People also need to stop villainizing hot showers, hot showers make the body sleepy and similarly relax muscles they're best before bed. You can also mix and match showers within one bath, 1 minute very hot, 1 minute very cold there's alot of variations.
    Most importantly cold showers finally allowed my lizard body to adjust to the cold. My country's temperature casually goes to 70C (160F for the freedom warriors) so I was fully adjusted to the hot temperature, but when the temperature drops to 5C (40F) I would act like a lil-bitch. Now cold showers have allowed me to evolve to be able to resist scalding heat and freezing cold, I am invincible now

  • Circle_Cut_Sandwich
    Circle_Cut_Sandwich 3 months ago +26

    As a new viewer (I literally just found you today) this type of video suits your sense of humour and vibe really well so I'd absolutely love to see more :)

  • Koebi Emi
    Koebi Emi 2 months ago +18

    No matter how many times I watch this I still lose my shit over Kurtis's parody routine at the end.

  • grandpa ix
    grandpa ix 4 months ago +2179

    i'm standing up for jeff bezos! if you're gonna shame his weird tiny eye, you also have to shame his weirdly turtley face. you can't pick and choose what you shame on a person, kurtis, that's insensitive. you gotta shame the whole package.

    • c r o n c h y
      c r o n c h y 4 months ago +2

      @Quark you really don't understand why most religions were created, don't you? most old world religions were made to try and make sense of the world and/or help people be less afraid of death. of course, lots of religious institutions are corrupt today. but if a religion makes someone happy (as long as they don't use it for evil), you should let them practice it.

    • MsTheCommentator
      MsTheCommentator 4 months ago +2

      @oats geez, it was less sad when I assumed it was just a bot. If it's an actual person, they need to do something better with their time than yell into the void

    • oats
      oats 4 months ago +1

      this dude has also been copy-and-pasting this exact same thing on Danny and Drew's videos as well. (probably just commentary channels in general)
      i say copy-and-pasting because this isn't a bot. this dude responds to people and edits his comments. he's really just this pathetic.

    • Sa
      Sa 4 months ago +2

      He's a few meals from becoming Gru

    • Maddy
      Maddy 4 months ago

      @grandpa ix me too. I just couldn’t help myself

  • MeaningMatters355
    MeaningMatters355 3 months ago +27

    After he took his first sip of the smoothie, he actually looked like he was about to cry. 🤣

  • george
    george 4 months ago +38

    "We're not human doings, we're human BEings"
    The cringe was so strong I exclaimed loudly into my empty, cold and lifeless apartment. I'm definitely lonely and definitely not a billionaire!

  • Sally Beth
    Sally Beth 4 months ago +26

    Gotta say, making your bed, drinking water, meditating, and reading are pretty good things to "buy"

  • Wicked Horizon Designs
    Wicked Horizon Designs 2 months ago +4

    Great vid Kurtis, always fun and uplifting to view your creative, humorous and engaging videos especially during these trying times. That in of itself is priceless.

  • Elizabeth B
    Elizabeth B 4 months ago +2574

    Smoothie tip: When creating a smoothie with spinach, always put the spinach in first and use an equivalent amount of water to ensure the spinach is properly blended. Once all the green leafy bits look like The Ooze from Ninja Turtles, it's safe to add other ingredients. :)

    • Payton Dunham
      Payton Dunham 4 months ago

      Thats super helpful, totally trying it this way soon c: thanks!

    • Melanie Schwarz
      Melanie Schwarz 4 months ago +2

      If you want a super thick smoothie, use only frozen fruit or freeze any ingredients you use (like put yogurt in the freezer for a bit right before you use it). Adding ice doesn’t make it as thick and dilutes the flavor. You can use water but sometimes that also dilutes the flavor, so it’s better to use a juice or milk.

    • Megan R
      Megan R 4 months ago

      This is actually so helpful!! Thank you!!!

    • Genevieve Marie
      Genevieve Marie 4 months ago +1

      You’re a literal saint ilysm I’m gonna try this first thing tomorrow!!! Lol you’ve helped 2k ppl that’s amazing

    • Deli
      Deli 4 months ago +3

      @Myrthe right like youd think hed try and make it better

  • Faith Springer
    Faith Springer 2 months ago +5

    Truly love you Curtis thanks for exploiting these nut cases that just don't want to admit their privilege

  • janska
    janska 3 months ago +18

    This is actually kinda my morning routine rn accept I'm not a billionaire, I'm severely depressed and unemployed...

  • ahri kim
    ahri kim 2 months ago +8

    Not kurtis saying that 2022 was going to be worst 🇺🇦 #standingwithUkraine

  • Alicat Gtz
    Alicat Gtz 3 months ago +11

    I love the shower scenes XD It was like watching a cat being put in a shower, total disappointment and agony lol

  • Lena Reis
    Lena Reis 4 months ago +3176

    kurtis finding out that meditating is actually nice is so funny to me

    • rambbler
      rambbler 3 months ago +1

      @Candace Hendricks yeah I get what you mean. If I want to sit down and not think about anything for a while and just breathe, I'd just go back to bed. I can turn off my brain while exercising and getting into the zone, and it helps get the blood flowing. I personally like weight training and body weight exercising, makes me feel like a big strong girl.

    • Candace Hendricks
      Candace Hendricks 3 months ago +1

      No, I meant I just enjoy faster stuff better. Like Pilates, because it’s yoga with fast repetitions. I know what meditation is and why it’s used. It can’t work for every single person though m, and it’s just not my thing

    • Milonification
      Milonification 3 months ago +1

      @Candace Hendricks that's exactly why you need it. Unrest always has a cause, and once you uproot it you'll permanently feel better. I promise.

    • Candace Hendricks
      Candace Hendricks 3 months ago

      Unless it’s alpha smile-breathing 😂 ofc

    • Candace Hendricks
      Candace Hendricks 3 months ago +3

      Same reason I don’t breathe. Breathings for betas

  • Yawning Lion
    Yawning Lion 3 months ago +2

    The only thing I can vouch for is the cold shower thing, I don't do it every time but it does help me calm down when I'm particularly anxious.

  • Schemilix
    Schemilix Month ago +1

    The alpha breathing seems like a version of lion breath (I think it's translated as that) in yoga. It's actually really useful during difficult poses since it takes the focus off your screaming muscles

  • dcoog anml
    dcoog anml 3 months ago +11

    I love how billionaires genuinely convince their mindless followers that just taking the bare minimum care of yourself as a human being will get you to their status

  • Stephen Regan
    Stephen Regan 3 months ago +4

    That morning routine at the end had me laughing so hard I almost had an asthma attack

  • RedHairedRiot
    RedHairedRiot 4 months ago +3775

    Hearing kurtis call billionaires “losers” fed something deep in me that I didn’t know I needed

    • noblesgirlcuttlefish
      noblesgirlcuttlefish 4 months ago +9

      @RedHairedRiot It was Quyen Tran who copied you, her comment came a day later

    • RedHairedRiot
      RedHairedRiot 4 months ago +5

      @noblesgirlcuttlefish I just wrote this from the heart. It’s possible someone else had the same feeling lol

    • noblesgirlcuttlefish
      noblesgirlcuttlefish 4 months ago +5

      Alright who copied?!?! Someone else had the exact same comment

    • Steph
      Steph 4 months ago

      @いのふかだ🇯🇵 sus

    • cuan💌🔞
      cuan💌🔞 4 months ago

      Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la cuan.monster
      hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado por la vida dura que se vive hoy.
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos
      , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente.
      Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
      #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

  • Charming nowhere to hide
    Charming nowhere to hide 4 months ago +2

    I would actually love to see Kurtis try out different morning routines and review them!

  • Abby
    Abby 4 months ago +3

    Kurtis is the only youtuber who makes me genuinely laugh out loud, other youtubers barely make me do the nose exhale laugh

  • R&M’s Adventures
    R&M’s Adventures 2 months ago

    There are very few things that make me laugh out loud, let alone laugh during the whole video. Well done, well done. 😂

  • Aven
    Aven 2 months ago +9

    Well, you were right. This year sure is different. 🌻

  • fuck you
    fuck you 4 months ago +3945

    finally someone has the balls to call out billionaires for being big baby losers

    • That one guy
      That one guy 2 months ago

      What are you talking about? People shit on billionaires all the time.

    • Milanee4 6 crayon
      Milanee4 6 crayon 4 months ago

      @Quark jeez dude😂😂😂😂

    • alisia c
      alisia c 4 months ago

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 shake-body.com/CIMOY/?[PRIVATE-S*X]
      #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね!1#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね(笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした!#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
      !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#1万人を超える人が見ていたも ん(#笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!( #笑)#垃圾

    • Lucikka
      Lucikka 4 months ago

      @Quark, I respect that you’re an atheist, so you better respect the fact that I among many others are religious.

    • NussNougat
      NussNougat 4 months ago +9

      @Brady Hayes lmfao that’s such a wild opinion and paired with the “I have read Marx manifesto too” okay bro? I have read Adam Smith too, Billionaires are still a sign of a not working system.

  • Rogue Wolf
    Rogue Wolf 3 months ago +6

    Adam Ragusea said it best when he said its easy for millionaires to work hard because one extra hour is hundreds of dollars, whereas someone in a convenience store can stand for an extra hour on end for 10 bucks

  • Toma
    Toma  25 days ago +1

    6:26 this guy's onto something i breathed along (like an alpha) and this was the first time i've burst out laughing in ages

  • Alice Sarah
    Alice Sarah 3 months ago +27

    I am ashamed to admit how close your “real” billionaire morning routine resembles my actual morning routine. 😅

  • kalyn
    kalyn 3 months ago +1

    Hearing kurtis recall his dreams was honestly the best part of the entire video

  • goultube
    goultube 4 months ago +4349

    love that kurtis was so immediately ruined by this routine that he tried to put an edge piece in the center of the jigsaw puzzle on day one

    • Jay Yates
      Jay Yates 4 months ago +69

      Shit hahahaha now that really speaks volumes

  • lemon enjoyer
    lemon enjoyer 2 months ago +13

    "were not human doings we're human beings" proceeds to tell everyone he sees to stay on the grind and never rest

  • Tasneem Bootwala
    Tasneem Bootwala 4 months ago +3

    Fun fact: 've started watching this video 3 times this week and fallen asleep all three times. I don't know how it ends! Is it a secret cure to insomnia?

  • Georgia Mae F
    Georgia Mae F 4 months ago +1

    I’m watching this while hungover at the gym thank you Kurtis for this amazing entertainment to get me through this gym sesh

  • shishishiena
    shishishiena 4 months ago +2

    i normally watch stuff on tv, so i get lazy and don't usually... get out my phone and find the video again to comment...
    but i wanted to say!! i loved watching ya do something different, and i'm sure i and everyone else would enjoy watching ya do more stuff like this!!

  • Ara
    Ara 2 months ago +10

    " You're allowed to body shame a billionaire " needs to be on a t-shirt

    • Elise
      Elise Month ago

      As a treat of course

  • Kerra Hinrichs
    Kerra Hinrichs 3 months ago +6

    Someone PLEASE actually follow Kurtis’s recommended morning routine…chug that mountain dew cosmic brownie smoothie

  • Sarah Watts
    Sarah Watts 3 months ago +1

    This video made me laugh so much so many more people need your sense of humor

  • Panda san
    Panda san 3 months ago

    Kurtis roasting billionaires is the thing I needed today, thank you

  • Ju Ma Ma
    Ju Ma Ma 3 months ago

    giving me simultaneous anxiety and satisfaction with your points about about these uber rich weirdo lying thieves.

  • Ellinor Råtts
    Ellinor Råtts 3 months ago +1


  • Mathilde Tailler
    Mathilde Tailler 3 months ago

    Loved this format 😎 Had a great laugh ! Not gonna try any of these tho ... except maybe the breathing part, did looked like fun 😂

  • Big Sissy Angie
    Big Sissy Angie 3 months ago +3

    Thank you for pointing out at 8:20 that these tasks are more like uhhh all day tasks. Not to mention most of us who aren’t billionaires still have to work around a 9-5 work week 😢

  • Camilshka
    Camilshka 4 months ago +1997

    Your completely incomprehensible sentence after drinking the tea and then “ya know?” made me laugh so hard, thank you!

    • Erica Heap
      Erica Heap 4 months ago +1

      @meredith m 16:02

    • Ally Matamoros
      Ally Matamoros 4 months ago


    • meredith m
      meredith m 4 months ago

      help i can’t find that part

    • Abbie
      Abbie 4 months ago +3

      No cause I knew exactly what he meant

    • Cyce
      Cyce 4 months ago +2

      Right rewound that part like 4 times 😂😂

  • Caitlin Simpson
    Caitlin Simpson 3 months ago +2

    i cannot grasp my head around having that much money and not ending world hunger or homelessness. when i think about winning the lottery, i always think about what i’d get people/help my friends & family.

  • Sarah Brannen
    Sarah Brannen 20 days ago

    the pain and sadness on his face when he drank that smoothie....poor Kurtis 😂

  • :D
    :D 3 months ago +2

    kurtis this has inspired me to now live like a poor person. i don’t have to do anything

  • jimonjitō
    jimonjitō 4 months ago +1

    Love when Kurt boy periodically uploads these documentaries-esque videos

  • Laura B
    Laura B 4 months ago +1408

    It's amazing how productive someone can sound when they leave out all the employees they have to take care of mundane tasks. I believe this guy can make his own bed and brew his own tea, it's pretty simple and probably makes him feel self sufficient. But like, who's cooking dinner or buying groceries? Who's doing the laundry? Who's cleaning the bathroom? And if there are any kids, who's getting them ready for school and helping them with their homework? Probably not this dude.

    • Life Of Liana
      Life Of Liana 4 months ago

      thexvid.com/video/xY6TuCyoz8A/video.html vlog ;)

    • haggler
      haggler 4 months ago +9

      @BANICA»💋 my thoughts exactly

    • Iamhereblossom
      Iamhereblossom 4 months ago +17

      That's peasant work.

    • hey there
      hey there 4 months ago +11


  • Ana M
    Ana M 4 months ago +1

    Accidentally fell off my bean bag like twice watching this from how much i was laughing 💀

  • Cristina Varona
    Cristina Varona 3 months ago +3

    11:53 LMFAO my bf regularly exclaims this at our pup too at random moments, in the style of Cedric Diggory’s father as well, how is this a thing?! 🤣

  • SmrtArs
    SmrtArs 3 months ago

    It's a sad fact that Kurtis is more insightful that all the adults I know out together (including myself)...It's time for sobbing into iced cream

  • Gabby Low
    Gabby Low 3 months ago +5

    “Human brains in a little tea bag.. yea I’m a Murderer” 😭

  • Casandra Webster
    Casandra Webster 4 months ago +1787

    This video actually made me feel a lot better about myself because I struggle to have a consistent routine because of my mental health and a lot of the shit I see on social media makes me feel bad about the routines I have developed. Reminder that social media really is just social media

    • Casandra Webster
      Casandra Webster 4 months ago +1

      @Karu Desu I had social media deleted on my phone for a really long time actually but over the past few months or so my mental health has gotten increasingly worst which made me download it again, which also makes my mental health even worst so it’s a constant cycle lol. I’ve been wanting to delete ig again lately tho and I think I will cuz of your comment!

    • Casandra Webster
      Casandra Webster 4 months ago

      @Dave Fish I haven’t used Facebook since I was like 14, but yeah my account exists

    • Dave Fish
      Dave Fish 4 months ago

      @cordelia x "Nobody has facebook" - Facebook estimated user number: 2.5 BILLION users... And Cassandra Webster does, facts.

    • Karu Desu
      Karu Desu 4 months ago +2

      Yeah actually try to delete social media from your phone. I only deleted tiktok and instagram and I noticed a difference in my routines. I instead watch a fuckton of TheXvid but that’s a problem for another day

  • Ashe Grey
    Ashe Grey Month ago

    kurtis’ “real” billionaire routine was the funniest shit i’ve heard in a while 😂😂

  • Ananya Sahay
    Ananya Sahay 3 months ago +1

    this video already had me in tears but when he described what the smoothie tastes like, I lost it

  • Micah Brown
    Micah Brown 2 months ago

    10-15 mins is a much more realistic meditation for most, but even a 5 minute one works if that’s all you have the time for. It depends on what you want out of the practice and if you’re someone that can sit still with less to focus on for longer amounts of time.

  • Anna Lindgren
    Anna Lindgren 3 months ago +4

    Seems to me that Kurtis has a lot of dreams that have to do with the airport, that could definitely mean something 👀

    FØRREST GØBLIN 4 months ago +1467

    The intro was everything. Roasting billionaires and their questionable taste is very enjoyable. Very tired of seeing those guys portrayed as role models by buisness journalists lmao. Most of them are straight up musky.

    • Brice Carter
      Brice Carter 4 months ago +1

      @indy may This is how I feel. People will make fun of a bad person for being fat and it makes me really sad.

    • lesley
      lesley 4 months ago +4

      I hear Elon musk is particularly musky

    • alisia c
      alisia c 4 months ago

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 shake-body.com/CIMOY/?[PRIVATE-S*X]
      #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね!1#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね(笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした!#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
      !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#1万人を超える人が見ていたも ん(#笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!( #笑)#垃圾

    • Athena Jaxon
      Athena Jaxon 4 months ago +2

      Musky lmao

    • M a n d a 🖤
      M a n d a 🖤 4 months ago

      Only for fans over 18 years old LOCALDATE.MONSTER/TATSUHISHA
      tricks I do not know
      Megan: "Hotter"
      Hopi: "Sweeter"
      Joonie: "Cooler"
      Yoongi: "Butter
      So with toy and his tricks, do not read it to him that he writes well mamon there are only to laugh for a while and not be sad and stressed because of the hard life that is lived today.
      Köz karaş: '' Taŋ kaldım ''
      Erinder: '' Sezimdüü ''
      Jılmayuu: '' Tattuuraak ''
      Dene: '' Muzdak ''
      Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis.
      Aç köz arstan
      Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon.
      Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu wins taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. '' Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt '' dep oylodu arstan.
      Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu. # 垃圾
      They are one of the best concerts, you can not go but just seeing them from the screen, I know it was surprising

  • sienna k
    sienna k Month ago +1

    similar routine in mental hospital (forced) but structure like this can help some (neuro divergent) people or people in crisis - helps me to this day so i dont think its terrible advice for everyone