Misleading Signs | Jimmy Carr: Stand Up

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  • Published on Oct 8, 2019
  • What misleading signs have you been tricked by? Let us know in the comments!
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
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  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 239

  • Raycheetah
    Raycheetah 3 days ago

    Some of these comments are gorramed near as funny as the standup! =^[.]^=

  • Unwoven Sleeve
    Unwoven Sleeve 5 days ago +1

    "I was in Australia, I saw a sign that said convenience store, 75 miles"
    Inaccuracies with your joke Jimmy:
    We don't use miles, we use the metric system
    Convenience store would just be called the servo
    You'd never be caught dead in Australia wouldn't ya

  • Liam Hawke
    Liam Hawke 6 days ago

    Funny joke but Australia uses kilometres not miles

  • KOJohnson
    KOJohnson 6 days ago +1

    I saw a sign in an office-supply store that said, "GLUE STICKS". I thought, yeah, I hope it does --

  • chaz d'spaz
    chaz d'spaz 6 days ago

    I America, we have yellow caution signs in some farming areas which have a Tractor on them. I saw one, one day, on which someone had drawn in permanent marker, squiggly lines above the Tractor to indicate 'falling Tractors.'

  • evilution
    evilution 6 days ago

    Whenever I go to public attractions, there's always a sign that says "dogs die in hot cars". But it never says where it is or what time the show starts.

  • Darren McAuliffe
    Darren McAuliffe 7 days ago +2

    I saw a sign that said "Mother's Day Book Now." I wondered what's in a Mother's Day book?

  • Luke Clarke
    Luke Clarke 7 days ago

    Seen a sign the other day that made me piss my pants.
    Toliet out of order

  • John Cortex
    John Cortex 7 days ago

    My personal favourite is the advice seen on most medicines etc - 'Keep away from children". I always try to . . . they can be so annoying at times!

  • Ephemeral Q.
    Ephemeral Q. 8 days ago

    1:22 Joke's on you, we don't use miles.

  • Making Games
    Making Games 8 days ago

    YEEEEEES, new material! Finally. I heard all the stuff on this channel before.. This did not disappoint. I am genuinely happy now. Let´s see what else I missed!

  • s c
    s c 8 days ago

    driving through Beacher illinios i pulled over to look at my phone for directions to where i was going, as i started to pull out i looked up and saw a sign on the side of a building, "beacher-meat company" its ok i think i can handle that myself

  • Gunnar Theodór Gunnarsson

    Roadsign that show falling rocks is to warn you that rocks might be on the road.... so Jimmy´s joke is´nt that good, is it?

  • Andrew Palmer
    Andrew Palmer 8 days ago

    And on a factory close the the autoroute near Narbonne France.......Fanny......the taste of Excellence! Or it actually said ‘Fanny......le gout d’excellence’ same thing right?

  • Andrew Palmer
    Andrew Palmer 8 days ago

    Our local curry house, which had been closed down for mice dropping in the rice, was reopened....’Under New Management. Balti Rat! ......Yeah so larger droppings for your money we no thanks!

  • Damien Collins
    Damien Collins 8 days ago

    Australia uses Kilometres not miles

  • Jóhann Gunnarsson
    Jóhann Gunnarsson 8 days ago

    That first joke about watch battery fitted was stolen from I'm sorry I haven't a clue...

  • ex0duzz
    ex0duzz 8 days ago +3

    What a liar.. Australia doesn't use miles or imperial system.. we aren't savages!

  • paul signac
    paul signac 9 days ago

    This isn't a car show!

  • Frank Possible
    Frank Possible 9 days ago +37

    First time a “heckler” says something worth listening to.

    • Pete is never wrong
      Pete is never wrong 7 days ago

      @Ezra Milos Yep, that whole "plant" thing is bollocks.

    • Ezra Milos
      Ezra Milos 8 days ago +5

      @z17seattle You obviously know nothing about Jimmy Carr. He's not Amy Schumer or Steve Hofstetter. Go see him live like I did, you'll see there's nothing prepared about the heckling.

    • z17seattle
      z17seattle 8 days ago

      @D S his laugh wasn't natural. And how often do people get to just raise their hand and ask the comedian a question. And the 1 in a million times THAT happens how often is it going to be good content that fits in well with the set?

    • z17seattle
      z17seattle 8 days ago +2

      @D S the odds of a random person raising their hand and getting to ask a question during a recorded set, during the perfect moment with a silent crowd, not being interrupted or warned/threatened by security. AND it was as entertaining as if Jimmy had written it himself. The timing and fit in seemed pretty suspicious. BUT, I can give it the benefit of the doubt maybe it was just a magical moment caught on camera

    • D S
      D S 8 days ago +3

      @z17seattle you got proof?

  • Dawnphyre
    Dawnphyre 9 days ago

    it didn't say 75 miles if you were in Australia

  • Peter Cadieux
    Peter Cadieux 9 days ago

    I remember a sign it said buy 1 arm & get 1 hammer.

  • larry worrell
    larry worrell 9 days ago +1

    Anyone noticed how he says in Australia convenience store 75 miles ahead, but we call them service stations and use kilometres?

  • Aidil Iqmal
    Aidil Iqmal 10 days ago +1

    i love how his laugh here is not the same as his laugh now

  • J Bottero
    J Bottero 10 days ago +16

    They want the children to drive carefully to avoid hitting the slow children playing.

  • John sonter
    John sonter 10 days ago

    Jimmy is awesome with the crowd funny robot man.

  • Gains Bond
    Gains Bond 10 days ago

    Sign:- *Danger Rocks*
    Graffiti Directly Underneath:- *It Sure Does!*
    *ADDITIONAL:-* What's the first gag he says about not being the best show, I can't make out the audio...

    • Sir Barrington Womble MBE
      Sir Barrington Womble MBE 7 days ago

      'Watch batteries fitted'. In case you didn't know, he was talking about an imaginary production at the famous Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

  • oiuet souiu
    oiuet souiu 10 days ago

    The signs I like are "slow children playing" . And there is hope for them when they grow up, because there are also "slow men at work".

  • Sir Barrington Womble MBE

    Up here in Scotland, when you see a very dirty car or van, some local Oscar Wilde will often have scrawled - 'IF MY WIFE WAS THIS DIRTY I'D STILL IN BED'

  • Peter Quinlan
    Peter Quinlan 10 days ago +8

    The sign in Oz could not have said 75 miles, unless Jimmy was here more than 50 years ago.

  • ZCAB
    ZCAB 10 days ago

    Hold on... an audience member interjected a stand-up comedy show without being prompted, and added something that was actually funny and pertinent to the topic? I'm off to buy a lottery ticket.

    • oiuet souiu
      oiuet souiu 10 days ago

      He stole those last few jokes from Top Gear, you can’t fool me Jimmy Carr

  • Soinas Doyi
    Soinas Doyi 10 days ago

    always look forward to your videos !!

  • qopoy dnon
    qopoy dnon 11 days ago

    Jimmy used the "Falling rocks" bit on Top Gear. And he also was the fastest celebrity in a reasonably priced car. Makes sense, afterall, he's the Carrinator

  • mei li
    mei li 11 days ago

    Human Harvest, an award-winning documentary which exposes the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) organ harvesting from living Falun Gong practitioners, was screened at the Iris Theatre in Adelaide, South Australia on the evening of December 6, 2018. The audience actively engaged in a discussion with invited guests on how to stop the CCP's crimes against humanity and its infiltration of Australia.

    • Soinas Doyi
      Soinas Doyi 10 days ago

      Im that fat vegetarian. My weakness is cheesepuffs

  • Sir Barrington Womble MBE

    Printed on a package sent to an (ex)friend -
    PHOTOGRPHS
    DO NOT BEND
    Oh, yes they DO! I proved it.

    • qopoy dnon
      qopoy dnon 11 days ago

      I remember a sign, “Falling rocks do not stop” on the road were smashed rocks. I thought they got that wrong.

  • Sir Barrington Womble MBE

    A Rich Hall line about a US beer hall sign -
    LIQUOR IN FRONT POKER IN THE REAR.

    • abbsnn cose
      abbsnn cose 11 days ago

      my favorite is looking at new homes: "Models open." "Parking in rear"

  • abbsnn cose
    abbsnn cose 11 days ago

    Awesome production and writing on this episode :)

    • abbsnn cose
      abbsnn cose 11 days ago

      I remember a sign, “Falling rocks do not stop” on the road were smashed rocks. I thought they got that wrong.

  • Jac Crystal
    Jac Crystal 11 days ago

    This guy is a corrupter of public morals-and the way to get under their guard is to have them laughingvat the same time.As Goethe sais 'you can judge the quality of a woman by what she finds humorousness. Heard the joke about the climate change protester driving down one way street without noticing the two way sign?

    • RoweHowe
      RoweHowe 7 days ago

      wut

    • abbsnn cose
      abbsnn cose 11 days ago

      My favorite sign is one I’ve only seen in New Mexico, that says “Gusty Winds May Exist”

  • dolimi jotoo
    dolimi jotoo 11 days ago

    Here in Canada, the signs say "Slow children at play" - Mojo JoJo 🦍

  • Hugh Oxford
    Hugh Oxford 11 days ago

    "When red light shows wait here"

    • Soinas Doyi
      Soinas Doyi 10 days ago

      “Roadworks ahead” “I sure hope it does!”

  • Terry
    Terry 11 days ago +17

    New bridge in Exeter once said ' We built a bridge. Get over it"

  • opzz xsin
    opzz xsin 11 days ago

    He stole those last few jokes from Top Gear, you can’t fool me Jimmy Carr

    • Giganto Pithecus
      Giganto Pithecus 11 days ago +2

      You stole this comment from your alternate account. You can't fool me bocoy noiu

  • BB B
    BB B 11 days ago +1

    Jimmy Carr is the skinniest fat guy on the planet

    • dolimi jotoo
      dolimi jotoo 11 days ago

      Im that fat vegetarian. My weakness is cheesepuffs

  • neosapiens
    neosapiens 11 days ago

    Sign: *END ROAD WORK*
    Me: 🤔 **runs over workers** 😎🚗🚘

  • neosapiens
    neosapiens 11 days ago

    EAT HERE
    *GET GAS*

    • Gains Bond
      Gains Bond 10 days ago

      Or in a US fishing area - EAT HERE AND GET WORMS...

    • opzz xsin
      opzz xsin 11 days ago

      Is there a tea stop in the U.K. explicitly there to remind you to take a tea break? Probably.

  • Tasman
    Tasman 11 days ago

    I once saw a shop called "The Everyday Chinese Takeaway"... but it was closed that day !!!
    Waste removal company slogan, "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your rubbish back".

  • Mojo Jojo
    Mojo Jojo 11 days ago +3

    Here in Canada, the signs say "Slow children at play"

    - Mojo JoJo 🦍

  • The Mongoose
    The Mongoose 11 days ago

    In australia 'falling rocks do not stop' well fucking derr of course they dont.

  • bocoy noiu
    bocoy noiu 11 days ago

    He stole those last few jokes from Top Gear, you can’t fool me Jimmy Carr

    • Deco Dolly
      Deco Dolly 10 days ago

      He didn't steal it from Top Gear. He told it on the show himself when he was the "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car".

  • RC castle
    RC castle 12 days ago

    Hey Jim get plastic surgery you need it man.

  • David kwon
    David kwon 12 days ago +50

    “Roadworks ahead”
    “I sure hope it does!”

  • bowen voowy
    bowen voowy 12 days ago

    Im that fat vegetarian. My weakness is cheesepuffs

    • bocoy noiu
      bocoy noiu 11 days ago

      Saw a sign on the front of a company van that sold window blinds. Sign said "Blind man driving"

  • veritas liberabit vos
    veritas liberabit vos 12 days ago +17

    I remember a sign, “Falling rocks do not stop” on the road were smashed rocks. I thought they got that wrong.

  • newportb33ch
    newportb33ch 12 days ago +3

    my favorite is looking at new homes: "Models open." "Parking in rear"

  • D Hoskins
    D Hoskins 12 days ago

    Basically an old Louis CK premise

  • Jarren Benton
    Jarren Benton 12 days ago +1

    My favorite sign is one I’ve only seen in New Mexico, that says “Gusty Winds May Exist”

  • afutla qian
    afutla qian 12 days ago

    Im that fat vegetarian. My weakness is cheesepuffs

  • bcvbb hyui
    bcvbb hyui 12 days ago

    I like the one up the street. It says "Slow deaf child". Guess they will learn to speed up.

  • Krazy Tygr
    Krazy Tygr 12 days ago +2

    Sign at the side of the road: 'Cats eyes removed'. What do they do with all the blind cats and/or the eyes?

    • daweed 9
      daweed 9 12 days ago

      They nail them to seats so to make an entertained looking audience who would stay listen to this insurance salesman, they blind them so they cant see to escape if they get free

  • Ben Pothecary
    Ben Pothecary 12 days ago

    Is there a tea stop in the U.K. explicitly there to remind you to take a tea break? Probably.

    • bcvbb hyui
      bcvbb hyui 12 days ago

      I saw a sign that said 'Blind Children'. But I didn't have my penknife with me.