Human Test For People Who Work In An Office

Share
Embed
  • Published on Jan 30, 2020
  • For office workers only. Sponsored.
    Get your first audiobook and two Audible Originals for free when you try Audible for 30 days visit www.audible.com/zefrank or text "zefrank" to 500 500!
    "Orchestral-Ambient" : soundcloud.com/brenticus/
    Lobby Time : Kevin MacLeod ( incompetech.com )
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 3 889

  • James Spargo
    James Spargo 2 years ago +1895

    Zefrank should write a book and put it on audible. His voice is so perfect for it

    • AleXxTM123
      AleXxTM123 21 day ago

      He could read a phonebook and i would listen to it!

    • Susan Martin
      Susan Martin 6 months ago

      The lil ball at the end of a pen ALWAYS gets me!!! I hear he is a stand up comedienne (isn't that the way they spell it for a woman comedian?? Why I ask you??? WHY ... they are all funny!.I would pay anything to see him!!

    • A K
      A K 10 months ago

      I would buy this. For sure.

    • hep the great
      hep the great Year ago

      How about he reads classics... With commentary. Imagine Tom sawyer with zefrank making comments on his bad life choices.

    • D.M.E. B.M.F
      D.M.E. B.M.F Year ago +1

      I can listen to him read the phone book.

  • The Workshop
    The Workshop 2 years ago +1516

    Imagine working a job where you have a snack area and a bagel day.

    • Tanya Queen
      Tanya Queen 2 months ago

      @Daniel Mantell you just described my office to a tee! lol

    • Daniel Mantell
      Daniel Mantell 2 months ago +1

      It's not that great, those places usually just pay you a lot less and give you little perks like that so you don't complain too much. Also it's usually lots of shit you shouldn't eat anyway but since it's free you kind of have to, and then you put on a bunch of weight and get too lazy to find another job.
      Now places where you get free booze... I'm all for that, even if the job sucks so bad it requires you to be inebriated to get through the day.

    • Tanya Queen
      Tanya Queen 3 months ago +1

      I do lol

    • Malia Vander Zyl
      Malia Vander Zyl 7 months ago +1

      Safelite Solutions, free Hot Cocoa & Coffee as well!

    • mariakisser
      mariakisser Year ago +1

      I work an art studio and we have a snack area, but instead of a bagel day, we have donut day and hope they don't touch the coconut cake donut.

  • Erylaria
    Erylaria 2 years ago +328

    My colleagues got me a 10€ gift card to a book shop and cheap flowers for my birthday last year, when I didn't expect anything at all, and I just cried because I was so overwhelmed that they actually thought of me as a person beyond my job even though I try my hardest to NOT think of them as actual people beyond their jobs.

    • Tanya Queen
      Tanya Queen 3 months ago

    • Feint
      Feint 5 months ago +4

      @Niclas Johansson Because they watch reality tv and only talk about the journey of their lives through the lens of their air fryer drama.

    • Feint
      Feint 5 months ago +2

      Best comment ever

    • Glen Calhoun
      Glen Calhoun 8 months ago +2

      Too damn good!!! Thank You!!!

  • Fevre_Dream
    Fevre_Dream 2 years ago +477

    "Have you ever had such pain in your life that you were so thankful to have a place that needed you, and made some semblance of sense in a world that seemed to be falling apart?"
    I work healthcare. This is my life right now. Nothing makes sense. Everything is going to shit. And the one thing I can do is show up for my shift, where I'm useful and needed.

    • Kathleen Kalman
      Kathleen Kalman Month ago

      @OceanSwimmer Sorry to hear that. I was one of those people who wanted to work till I fell over.
      Oh well. Now I can't work cuz I can't wear a mask.
      Hope you've adjusted ok.

    • Kathleen Kalman
      Kathleen Kalman Month ago

      @Fevre_Dream never had the time or money for it

    • Kathleen Kalman
      Kathleen Kalman Month ago

      @JeepinBoon After my husband deserted us we had no family health insurance, my car was paid for, we just didn't buy new clothes or pay for haircuts or any of that stuff most people take for granted.
      I didn't have the time or money to go back to school after being a stay-at-home mom for a few years so I had to work my way up by working as an aid, then an LVN, then at a really crappy hospital, then I finally got back.
      This is real.

    • Kathleen Kalman
      Kathleen Kalman Month ago

      @Mac MashPotato on an individual basis healthcare is extremely "useful and needed". If one goes beyond the passing pills and checking vitals and actually pays attention to the human, it is invaluable and will never be able to be done by a robot.

    • Fevre_Dream
      Fevre_Dream Month ago

      @OceanSwimmer I haven't met a therapist I work well with yet, but I'll give it another go soonish. I'm a huge advocate for therapy and it's worked wonders for many people I know. I just haven't found the right one.

  • Illuminocalypse
    Illuminocalypse Year ago +83

    5:58 - YES. This has happened to me once... a workmate got to go on a business trip to Tokyo (though in her mind it was "HAD to go", not "GOT to go"... it wasn't the traveling or the city, though, it was the task itself she was loathing to do.), and brought me back a present - an IRL rendition of the Triple Triad card game from Final Fantasy VIII! I remembered seeing such a collector's item WAAAAY back in 2001 or so in the shop window of some random manga/anime store in San Francisco's Chinatown, but it cost $80 (at the time!) and I was 17, so I couldn't afford it. NOW if you can even FIND such a thing in the US, be prepared to pay prices in the 3 or even 4 digit range! In 2006 Japan though, it was still quite available and reasonably priced, so she got me a copy.
    The crazy thing was, I'd had NO IDEA she even knew I was into such things, much less something THAT specific... not to mention, I was the only person in the office she actually got anything for :P (I later found out, much to my combined astonishment and slight embarrassment, that she was actually a friend of my younger sister, and I knew her just as well back in the day, too, but enough time had gone by since I'D seen her that I just simply hadn't recognized her when we started working in the same office. She, however, recognized me immediately, and even remembered me fondly enough to get me a gift ^_^
    I still have it and have even taught her - we've been solid friends now for a decade - how to actually play it.

    • Susan Martin
      Susan Martin 6 months ago

      😂😂🙂🙂😂😅😂

    • Susan Martin
      Susan Martin 6 months ago

      What the FUCK was that?? 😳Honey... you better STOP taking drugs or..... you're not taking enough of them!🤣🤣😂

    • Herveau Killian
      Herveau Killian 7 months ago

      That was a good story, thanks.

    • ok-ik
      ok-ik 11 months ago +2

      I enjoyed reading that.

  • N 13
    N 13 2 years ago +1743

    "Have you ever felt a tear in your eye when listening to how perfectly Zefrank portrays the pessimism and optimism of daily life; The ups, and the downs, of every little thing we take for granted and overlook."

    • steven dykes
      steven dykes 2 years ago

      Now if that isn't just the most correct thing i've ever read.

    • Emppu T.
      Emppu T. 2 years ago +2

      And proceed to read the comment in your mind with his voice as the narrator.

    • malenotyalc
      malenotyalc 2 years ago +2

      No.

    • MrWhoevr
      MrWhoevr 2 years ago +1

      Yes but I can’t decide if he is an optimistic pessimist or pessimistic optimist.

    • Game Seeker
      Game Seeker 2 years ago +3

      The best way to deal with life
      See both sides as equals

  • Najwa Laylah
    Najwa Laylah 2 years ago +503

    Introverts: There is no such thing as an awkward silence while coffee is brewing.

    • Daniel Mantell
      Daniel Mantell 2 months ago +3

      I dunno about that, I feel pressured to converse even though I hella don't want to. It's all part of the complex developed over years of extroverts telling me I "needed friends" or to "get out more" or because I like the blissful quiet of people shutting their damn mouths "I'm depressed". I realized the true issue is that the majority of people who want to get on stage and talk about their opinions are extroverts so the equal majority of introverts feel like we're a minority, when really it's just that extroverts are obnoxious self righteous assholes. I'm in too deep now to go back though, I've spent untold years pretending to be socially competent and now I don't know how to go back. So I'll talk at the coffee machine, but just know that I am not enjoying it.

    • Jeff
      Jeff 9 months ago +3

      Seems like the people in this thread don't understand the difference between being an introvert, and having social anxiety.

    • Wholesome Keanu Reeves
      Wholesome Keanu Reeves 11 months ago +1

      As an extrovert youre right i dont get this

    • Simone Noli
      Simone Noli 11 months ago +3

      Thank god smartphone exists. I dont have to socialize no more

  • Steve Sloan
    Steve Sloan 2 years ago +104

    "Tell us all an interesting fact."
    "Uh ... um ... er ... did you know ducks have a corkscrew penis?"
    "Tell us all an interesting fact ABOUT YOURSELF."
    -- true story

    • azza in this day and age
      azza in this day and age 2 years ago +2

      how else are they to navigate the labrinthine-lady duck party parts? hmm? HMM?
      thats right, let this be a lesson to us next time we feel like kink-shaming daffy duck

    • Charli
      Charli 2 years ago +1

      YES LOVED THAT ONE

  • Lovely Singing Dinosaur
    Lovely Singing Dinosaur 11 months ago +12

    He's making us face ourselves and reflect on the human condition we find ourselves in... GET HIM!

  • OneRandomLeo
    OneRandomLeo Year ago +33

    "Have you ever wondered how, after a meeting where everyone understood something entirely different, your company managed to achieve anything at all?" 😂😂😂

  • Liam Dwyer
    Liam Dwyer Year ago +25

    "Have you ever had such pain in your life that you were so thankful to have a place that needed you, and made some semblance of sense in a world that seemed to be falling apart?"
    That one hit too hard.

    • OceanSwimmer
      OceanSwimmer Month ago

      Oh yes.

    • Tonya
      Tonya 7 months ago +1

      Right there with you, my friend!

  • baashdi hobstocking
    baashdi hobstocking 2 years ago +182

    always, always ... make friends with the most unstable crazy person in the office, buy them lunch, ... often. they will remember your kindness later, when they snap.

    • baashdi hobstocking
      baashdi hobstocking Year ago +1

      @Goattacular crazy employees most likely existed before dane cook...?

    • Goattacular
      Goattacular Year ago +2

      Gotta love the Dane Cook reference. :D

    • baashdi hobstocking
      baashdi hobstocking Year ago +2

      @Don Z "situational awareness" is important to everyone.

    • Don Z
      Don Z Year ago +1

      Do you know that from experience?!?

    • K. V.
      K. V. Year ago +6

      @Nirrrina The least lucky often feel disregarded. Homeless people, drunken zoners, etc... overlook their predicament to genuinely listen to them and consider them human "beyond "that homeless guy part of the decor" and they will feel true gratitude. They are people. In general, we don't think of it.

  • Anthony Repetto
    Anthony Repetto Year ago +10

    "Have you ever wondered, after attending a meeting where everyone seems to have heard something completely different, how your company has achieved anything at all?" - lao zefrank
    This is like reading "Oh, the places you'll go!" if it was written by Kurt Vonnegut. thank you :)

  • Stephanie De Jesus
    Stephanie De Jesus 2 years ago +33

    I got the empty desk...and I really wanted to be the one leaving. She's doing so much better now and has her health back, so I'm happy for her.

  • lerche noire
    lerche noire 2 years ago +5129

    Came here to laugh, ended up with some casual existential despair.

    • Cerebral Trip
      Cerebral Trip Year ago

      @lerche noire Live in a first world country with all these advances and wonder why we call it progress when at the end of the day we are slaves with an illusion of freedom and rights. Then you know it's upon everyone's future.

    • Chrishana Towne
      Chrishana Towne Year ago +2

      I work retail, not in an office, but those last 2 minutes got to me.

    • lerche noire
      lerche noire Year ago

      @Michele Walburn I've been lucky enough to have done the digital nomad thing for years now, and I'm glad lots more people have made the switch away from the hilariously sad office life that Zefrank captured so well.

    • Michele Walburn
      Michele Walburn Year ago

      @Dre the astronaut if you're serious please get therapy.

    • Michele Walburn
      Michele Walburn Year ago

      I know that I would if I still worked in an office. Nope. Not for me.

  • Gordon Dean
    Gordon Dean Year ago +3

    zefrank1 is possibly the most amazingly human presenter on TheXvid. I have watched hundreds of his postings and enjoyed every one of them immensely

  • OtakuUnitedStudio
    OtakuUnitedStudio 2 years ago +145

    "Have you ever watched someone use hand sanitizer after shaking your hand and had the urge to lick their keyboard?"
    I have never felt like someone understood me as a person so much as I have hearing that exact sentence.

    • unknown variable
      unknown variable Year ago +8

      @Naomi C So? It's still relevant. You were commenting on a 9 month old comment from basically before the pandemic. Before lockdowns, before restrictions. When there had just been the first 2 cases in Europe. You weren't correcting a Covid denier. You were just replying to a comment from before the pandemic.

    • unknown variable
      unknown variable Year ago +1

      @Naomi C Maybe you should try looking at how old the comment you're replying to is.

    • Kriegs Commissar McCraw
      Kriegs Commissar McCraw Year ago +4

      @Naomi C imagine getting so angry at something so trivial.
      Must be torture in the real world

  • Pete of the Bread
    Pete of the Bread Year ago +4

    I used to work in an office, and almost every single one of these brought back some kind of memory from those days.

    • Porky
      Porky Year ago

      Is this my boy Petey K?

  • DisappointingPorn
    DisappointingPorn 2 years ago +9

    David Sedaris has been my hero for decades now. I was 15 when I finally got to meet him. He was doing a reading at the Alliance Theatre. I brought my dog-eared copies of Naked, Me Sing Pretty One Day, and a letter I had printed in gel pen on spiral notebook paper, the tattered edges nearly folded and torn off.
    I was a silly teenage girl amidst a crowd made up of mostly fussy gay gentleman and the occasional obese woman clutching their copies of Holiday on Ice to their giant bosoms.
    I waited in line, pre show!, for his autograph. A snooty man passed out slips of paper announcing that everyone was to write down what we wanted the author to write for us. I believe he meant, spell out names, but I took this literally and, after some contemplation, decided that “to a fucking badass chick, C!” Would be appropriate.
    I shyly approached the table. And handed my scrap of paper to Mr. Sedaris. He was tinier than I thought he’d be and far more normal than I’d anticipated.
    “A teenager!” He exclaimed!
    “OHMUHGAWD I just LOVE your essays!!” I burst out.
    “I have them all and I wanted to show you how much I’ve read these two.”
    I produced my crumbled books as proof. He laughed cheerily at this.
    I asked if he’d please sign my hardback and handed him my slip of paper with my desired message. He smirked kindly at what I’d hastily scribbled and wrote in my book.
    “This is for you too...” I quickly said, handing him my folded note. I had so much to say, but was very sensitive to the fact that there would be others behind me and also that he likely didn’t have much patience for some brat in a red pea coat and vinyl platform Mary Janes...ugh...it was the early 2000’s. So, I figured a letter pre-written would be most polite. He smiled gently and slipped the note into his shirt pocket.
    My mother and I howled with laughter along with the audience. It was a truly marvelous time. Though we were in the balcony, I could just make out that folded note still in his shirt pocket.
    I later remembered that I’d not looked at his autograph yet!
    I cracked it open and found written inside,
    “To C. Best of luck in everything you do. Wow! A teenager!!”
    Years have since passed. I’m happily married now and my waistline far too big for that pea coat. I’m no longer a teenager, though I still feel like one. I still wonder at the streaks of gray running through my curls and despair. When do I start dyeing this?? Should I get as close to my natural brunette or just break down and go teal? Say, fuck it, I want mermaid hair.
    And I’ve not since seen a David Sedaris reading, though I still devour his work greedily.
    And I just suddenly wondered, hearing you cite him in your Audible advert, if, amidst all the millions of fabulous, bizarre, and downright maniacal people he’s encountered, amidst all the crazy adventures, through all his sorrows and tragedies, would he still remember that silly teenager and her silly note? That note that explained to him how much his words meant to her. How much his absurd perspective on life and the ability to take so much of it in with that curious objectivity and quiet dread, facing imminent death on numerous occasions and coming away from it with a bizarre, but somehow beautifully perfect observation had enriched her life.
    She explained, with great plain frankness and no boo hoo, that her life up until a few years prior had been rife with constant abuse, hatred, anger. How she’d sought sanctuary in books and how, even when she was finally freed of that abuse and on the opposite end of the country, the fear and panic, the pain and despair followed her, even if the man did not.
    And Mr. Sedaris’ words gave her a friend, gave her safety. Humor has such great capacity for healing. And his words did just that. And she was grateful.
    I wonder if he remembers. And it’s okay if he doesn’t. Even okay if he never managed to read that note in his pocket. I said what I needed to say.
    Maybe I’ll go to another reading of his if he comes to my area. And maybe I’ll come with a different tattered collection of essays and a folded note. And thank him once again for what he’s given us.
    And thank you, Zefrank. Thank you for the hilarious and gentle messages of ugly truth and quiet hope. You make me laugh and cry. And I’m grateful for the comfort you give too.

  • Shadow-Monger
    Shadow-Monger 2 years ago +1534

    In the bathroom, your first mistake is waiting for them to leave.
    What you really need to do is fart as loudly as possible just as you sit down. That way you've asserted your dominance immediately. If they leave, then perfect, you are now the alpha and have earned your new domain.
    If not, then you have found a worthy opponent, and your battle will be legendary.

    • -
      - Month ago

      @Laura K If only I could be as stealthy and swift about it as you. But my bowels work in their own time.

    • David Fellner
      David Fellner Year ago

      Well said! Sadly, I have yet to find a worthy opponent...

    • Kritika Kishore
      Kritika Kishore Year ago

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • Cutest Demon
      Cutest Demon Year ago

      And if they crawl through the gap, you have met your match, your nemesis.

  • H S
    H S 2 years ago +3

    Laughed out loud several times, and it was much-needed. Thank you Thank you Thank you zefrank.

  • Carrie Orta
    Carrie Orta Year ago +2

    Zefrank, this literally made me laugh and tear up. I'm struck by the relevance of this video. Thank you.

  • Monkeysrock
    Monkeysrock 2 years ago +65

    "If you scored five or more...:
    Okay, I got six....
    "Then you are human."
    Holy shit that was close

    • Monkeysrock
      Monkeysrock 11 months ago +2

      @corvus corone hey you live your best life, you unidentified life form. 👍

    • corvus corone
      corvus corone 11 months ago +3

      Apparently, I am not human. Zero Points. Thank God. That was some weird sh*t.

    • Don Z
      Don Z Year ago

      @zJoriz I'm not a human either...

    • zJoriz
      zJoriz Year ago +8

      I'm not human apparently. Which, after sitting through 2020, starts to feel like a compliment.

  • Brianna
    Brianna 2 years ago +19

    Well now he has to do one for people with jobs that aren't considered a "real job".

  • Sammy Nichols
    Sammy Nichols 2 years ago +619

    I answered yes to all. I once had a co-worker who killed his self. My fellow workers and boss decided to turn it into a meeting about paperwork. They were even making jokes about him and how he died. I knew that then and there after 3 hours of crying in my office that it was time to leave for good.

    • CosplayMemories14
      CosplayMemories14 Month ago +1

      @Sammy Nichols what are you talking about?

    • OceanSwimmer
      OceanSwimmer Month ago

      @Lorem Ipsum Because some of us are on that unsteady age of 56+ and we want to hang onto our jobs with both hands, feet and teeth so we can retire at 65 and receive the full amount of our Social Security.
      Usually the Manager from Hell is some guy under age 45 who thinks he's the shit.
      He spends his time berating and insulting front line people who do the actual work so he can feel superior.
      He will brag about holding his job for 16 years to people who have quite literally been saving lives for 40 years.
      He doesn't care about anyone but himself - and that includes his wife and kid.
      He pulls people apart the way some pull the wings off flies.
      It was such sweet sweet, freedom to leave that job!

    • OceanSwimmer
      OceanSwimmer Month ago

      @CosplayMemories14 -- with is prorevenge?

    • OceanSwimmer
      OceanSwimmer Month ago

      @thatoneguy2057 --- was the Manager's name Frank Meyers?
      If so, she wasn't his only victim.

    • Sammy Nichols
      Sammy Nichols 2 years ago

      @Unicorn Kitteh well i have you in my payers bro and every body else on here.

  • Lcoq19
    Lcoq19 Year ago +1

    This is probably the only time in my life where I did not at all mind listening to someone talk about their sponsor, mid-presentation. That's how amusing and soothing Ze Frank and his videos are. That is how a Ze Frank do. 🥰💙

  • Heavy Metal Music Head
    Heavy Metal Music Head 2 years ago +3

    I've never even worked in an office and some of this was so darn relatable.

  • Asus McTablet
    Asus McTablet 2 years ago +58

    When people ask me to say something interesting about myself, I say "When I was a child, in grade school, they identified me as a future serial murderer." That makes them stop and think about the wisdom of asking stupid questions.

    • kiddiescripterkiller
      kiddiescripterkiller Year ago +1

      Fun and interesting fact about myself... I like stalking and killing coworkers that disagree with me or look at me the wrong way, and never getting caught... Another fun and interesting fact... I'm up to 20... After work tonight, it will be 21...

    • NPC
      NPC Year ago

      Stealing this

    • 5.6 kΩ ±5% Resistor
      5.6 kΩ ±5% Resistor Year ago +7

      On the first day of high school one year, a teacher asked us all what we had done over the summer. When it was my turn, I told them the truth. The room was silent for a moment, then a few people started laughing and the guy in front of me turned around and said, "that's f***ed up man!"
      I wish I could remember what I'd said (it was 20+ years ago), but I think it probably had to do with drugs, masturbation, and suicidal thoughts.

  • Debanjan Sahu
    Debanjan Sahu Year ago +9

    Well that sanitizer thing got out of hand pretty quickly....

  • David Haggerty
    David Haggerty Year ago +1

    I always find zeFrank amusing, but I appreciate the turn this started taking towards the end.

  • Ian B
    Ian B 16 days ago

    I got a yes! The ending of this video made me want to shout "hooray!" and then break down in tears. I *am* a human, Zefrank. Thank you.

  • Smitty
    Smitty Year ago +1

    this was the most convincing audible ad i've ever heard. Damn, after all these years, I may actually try it out.

  • Shannon R
    Shannon R 2 years ago +1

    I was expecting something else. More interactive and a fun game I guess. I got something more amazing and thought provoking and made me laugh so many times because it was all to real. Thank you.

  • Jared
    Jared 2 years ago +812

    I will only buy audible when zefrank is reading the books I want to hear.

    • Johnny 5
      Johnny 5 2 years ago

      @Adam Dawoodjee Another good candidate would be David Brin's Uplift Universe books with all of the genetically modified animals.

    • Adam Dawoodjee
      Adam Dawoodjee 2 years ago

      @Johnny 5 That's the ONE I want to hear :D

    • DM Pope
      DM Pope 2 years ago +1

      That’s the exact thing I was thinking

    • Mbeluba
      Mbeluba 2 years ago +3

      Yahtzee narrated his own books and those are great. Peterson narrated maps of meaning and 12 rules too and it goes down like butter.

    • Killer Q's Third
      Killer Q's Third 2 years ago +4

      Yo, I've never in my entire life considered listening to an audio book, but if zefrank read them I'd reconsider.

  • JLee Blackmon
    JLee Blackmon Year ago

    I wish Zefrank posted more I miss this type of real life content, & the amazing soothing voice is just the icing on top. Zefrank dominates the voice-over game.
    I come back monthly to watch some grade A Zefrank Videos.
    &I don't work in a office but the bathroom one with the explosive diarrhea is extremely accurate for so many people at my workplace, not for me I will blow it down and let everyone know. But I will notice ppl trying to cover up their farts & splashes by flushing the toilet like we can't smell tht disaster tht have released.

  • Deborah Danhauer
    Deborah Danhauer 8 months ago +1

    I started out laughing and shaking my head yes. I ended up crying and shaking my head yes. I guess I’m human. I love you Zefrank🐝🤗❤️

  • linkeffect82
    linkeffect82 2 years ago

    I loved this! Funny AND sorrowfully introspective!
    Great video Zefrank1!

  • Joel L
    Joel L 2 years ago +1

    Ze... Just... Thank you so much. I have no words. These videos are like lighthouses in the madness. 🙏🏽❤️

  • Jai
    Jai 2 years ago +2645

    "you wish you can remove the little nib on your soul somewhere"
    *Sobs* yes, yes I do.

    • Susan Martin
      Susan Martin 6 months ago

      He nailed EVERY ONE OF THESE!! The one about trying to time your_______ with the other person flushes😂😂😂💩❤

    • KrackedtheFup
      KrackedtheFup Year ago

      Just do Not confuse 'nib' with 'nip' and remove those! The ER will laugh at you. In front of you! Especially when you explain this video.

    • Simeon Barnard
      Simeon Barnard Year ago +2

      Well, I have experienced a soul-nib removing moment in my life and it was lovely!
      I experienced it the day that I realised just how much Jesus loves me, despite all of my maaaaaany flaws, and that I truly am forgiven for all of my sins. It was a very freeing moment.
      At that point it was as if all the cares of the world just fell away and all that was left was me and God and the joyous love we have for one another!
      Of course, the cares of the world will always try to weigh us down and sometimes it is successful, but everytime it tries I can just turn to God and experience peace, life and joy all over again!
      I know that some people who read this will look down on me but I'm sharing this because how can I keep quiet about this river of life when that's exactly what everyone in this comment-chain is searching for?
      "Don't knock it 'til you try it." 🤷‍♂️

    • MotesYT
      MotesYT 2 years ago +4

      @baashdi hobstocking nib on nib contact can spread disease.

  • Iffondrel
    Iffondrel 2 years ago

    As neutral and calming as your voice is, I can also see you taking the place of someone like Glados or the Narrator in Stanley Parable.

  • ShotgunFullOfSpiders
    ShotgunFullOfSpiders 2 years ago

    I’ve been watching this man for years, and only now am I realizing that he would make a killing doing ASMR

  • Honest McAmis
    Honest McAmis Year ago

    That one where you said something similar to: Are you thankful that you have a job where someone needs you and a place that makes sense when everything is crashing down?
    Hit me DEEP in the feels T_T Thank you work

  • Joseph Taggart
    Joseph Taggart 2 years ago

    Dang part 2 got dark, yet so very relatable. Another fantastic experience. Thank you. 😁😁

  • Austin
    Austin 2 years ago +447

    As a carpenter who’s bread and butter is nailing shingles to a roof in the freezing cold and in the scorching heat, the office job seems like mind-numbing torture the likes of which no human should have to endure.

    • Daniel Mantell
      Daniel Mantell 2 months ago +1

      Driving a forklift was the most fun job I ever had, but looking at all the old dudes who had no fallback plan if they got hurt scared the hell out of me so I moved into office world through incredible force of will. It is pretty mind numbingly awful, but some jobs are better than others, or more exciting at least. I guarantee the hot and cold you experience while going through a major irreversible company wide infrastructure upgrade is way more intense than anything nature can produce.

    • Jeff Reeves
      Jeff Reeves 10 months ago

      Truck driver here! Yup!!

    • Chase Charland
      Chase Charland Year ago +1

      Door to door salesman, I sell gutter cleaning and window washing and other work, do the work myself, get paid commission, many days I get dropped off and go for an hour nature hike before I knock a door, some days I sleep in a park in sun, or sit under a tree in the rain and listen to audiobooks, iv seen bears and eagles and elk and many other animals while walking or working. It's hard to compare my job to others as it's so unique, Im also allowed to choose any number of days off I want, work three take off four, my boss pick me up at my house, we make so much money I can afford steak and lobster for lunch several times a week if I choose, and often my customers tip me in beer or invite me in for dinner at the end of the day. My only dislike is fear of heights, though the views are spectacular, otherwise I'm totally free.

    • fuzer909
      fuzer909 Year ago +2

      @Haro1375, KFP Electrician Cadet Loved doing that sort of work years ago. Now I work from home and I miss seeing people.

    • S R
      S R Year ago +3

      Imma agree with Mickey. While I like manual jobs and found a strange satisfaction in being a waitress (at least on quiet days) I have really enjoyed most office jobs I’ve been in. As a teen I used to dread the very idea of an office job but I think I grew up on way too many Pixar movies that painted it as the place that dreams go to die. I wanted to be a teacher but found that I sucked at that. Being in a warm comfortable environment, working on projects that interest me with colleagues I like, with plentiful free coffee and the potential to waste lots of work time chatting about TV etc with your office mates, is surprisingly enjoyable. I miss it and find home working really stressful and sucky in comparison.

  • stubbornpuppet1
    stubbornpuppet1 2 years ago +1

    I kind of want to see a version of this for retail workers/people in the service industry.

  • mclary11818
    mclary11818 2 years ago

    Ze, I just rediscovered your video 'Crushing Words'. It was exactly what I needed to watch. I'm happy for everything you've done - and everything you will do. Don't forget your calming lamp - they do work :)

  • Regret ItNot
    Regret ItNot Year ago +3

    The soothing voice just adds to the existential crisis everyone just had.

  • daryk oughton
    daryk oughton 2 years ago

    Thank you! I needed that these are things I’ve experienced at work for years it’s nice to not feel alone

  • Sharyn Studstill
    Sharyn Studstill 2 years ago +1874

    Ah, the pen nib...the only thing remotely as satisfying as removing the pen nib wax is removing the film on a brand new piece of electronic device.

    • Jordan Hickey
      Jordan Hickey 2 years ago

      Yessss. The last phone I bought came with 3 big peelers, and I thought "fuck yes it is ON!" But before I had the chance, the employee at the T-Mobile store fucking ripped them all off so fast. Like, didn't even try to get any joy out of it! But she had to or why TF ELSE would she be taking that joy away from customers? I'm still so offended about it.

    • warpedweirdo
      warpedweirdo 2 years ago +1

      There is something far, far more satisfying than removing that stupid pen nib cover, or peeling the protective film from a glossy surface: peeling off large patches of your own sun-burned skin, the bigger the better. But sun burns can hurt and are bad for you. You can temporarily relieve the withdrawal symptoms by covering your skin with white glue, letting the glue dry, then peeling it off your skin.

    • Game Hat
      Game Hat 2 years ago

      y e s

    • Wolven Dragon
      Wolven Dragon 2 years ago

      Have you ever been excited to peel that plastic only for a coworker to come over and casually rob you of all joy in a simple pull that makes you wonder if gut punching them would be a fair exchange for getting fired?

    • Malien 1973
      Malien 1973 2 years ago +2

      Have you ever been hugely annoyed at someone who refuses to peel off the film on their device because they think it’s supposed to be left there to protect the item for all of eternity instead of just until the item is brought home from the store?

  • Johnwolfman Kelly

    Yes! Yes! More of these in different work environments please!

  • Space Captain
    Space Captain Year ago

    Thank goodness you made 5 of these. I finally have conclusive proof that I'm human! The first 4 had me a little worried...

  • GippyHappy
    GippyHappy 2 years ago +24

    This hurt. And I don't even work in an office.

  • jimmie999999999
    jimmie999999999 2 years ago +1

    this is your best work ever. this is real poetry, man. i wish i had written this

  • kelly McGregor
    kelly McGregor 2 years ago +2539

    Have you ever eaten lunch in your car simply because you couldn’t endure another second in that building and it was preferable to make your car smell like old ham.

    • GreenLantern2814
      GreenLantern2814 Year ago

      Why are you eating old ham?

    • Elen Degenerate
      Elen Degenerate Year ago

      @Romantic Outlaw I just ate my lunch in the sales area while working towards the end of my time in retail, if the incompetents at that place cannot work as a team nor want me to access basic employee training benefits just so I can do my work properly, then I can hardly be bothered to give a shit about the job :'D
      Tho oddly enough very few people apart from a single middle manager complained about my eating while working xD

    • Goattacular
      Goattacular Year ago +1

      I eat lunch in my car because I drive for a living, report to no one, have no co-workers, and get to make my own hours. Doesn't pay much money, but the deposits made into my soul are sizeable ones. I love my job!

    • -Siculus Hort-
      -Siculus Hort- Year ago +1

      i do that at every place i work/worked.

    • Vision Crystal
      Vision Crystal Year ago

      I did

  • Aron Gabor
    Aron Gabor 2 years ago +3

    I just realized that this came out with all the other channels talking about how the average human doesn't exist. Someone give a Nobel Peace prize to these people.

  • SUFYB
    SUFYB Year ago

    Zefrank, you should be an audible employee, with that calm, soothing voice.

  • E Mazing
    E Mazing 2 years ago

    Story of my life 😂. Ze Frank is so funny but also so crazy accurate and depressing

  • Sandra Ezesky
    Sandra Ezesky Year ago

    GOD, YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! I love your programs they are the only things that make me smile!🇨🇦

  • Fredrick Simen
    Fredrick Simen 2 years ago +472

    This is at once both heartbreaking and strangely positive, like a prisoner locked into a sterile, blank-walled cell but painting the walls inside with a beautiful landscape full of life, and light, fertile earth, and open sky.

    • paul kolifrath
      paul kolifrath Year ago +1

      I was gonna say with poop.. , but someone beat me to it

    • Adrian
      Adrian Year ago +1

      Fredrick Simen the way of humans is to adapt

    • animerlon
      animerlon 2 years ago +2

      @jdlech OMG LOL

    • jdlech
      jdlech 2 years ago +42

      ... with his feces.

  • Lauren D
    Lauren D 2 years ago

    This started out so sad but got so hopeful too. Thanks, zefrank

  • MrTwenty20video
    MrTwenty20video 2 years ago

    Enjoyable and relatable content ☺ Thank you. 😁

  • Username Checks Out

    I’ve never worked an office job yet all of this is somehow so relatable

  • Wuft Chan
    Wuft Chan Year ago +6

    His voice is so satisfying, hes up there with Morgan Freeman like damn. If one of them doesnt narrate my death i refuse to die

  • Sopho Nax
    Sopho Nax 2 years ago +1609

    I waited all the time for:
    _This is how the human do._

    • Normal Channel
      Normal Channel 2 years ago +1

      ​@Lone Caucasian Male eh i don't really care about the novel Kung Flu, it's not that lethal since people actually recovered from it. But thanks for the information about the viral lung fuzz.

    • Normal Channel
      Normal Channel 2 years ago

      @Lone Caucasian Male "killed all of the them??" Lol Inglish wun hundread.

    • Normal Channel
      Normal Channel 2 years ago

      @Lone Caucasian Male much

    • Normal Channel
      Normal Channel 2 years ago

      @Lone Caucasian Male replying

  • Joey St-Pierre
    Joey St-Pierre 2 years ago +103

    I'm that child wanting to go to the bathroom. Sorry, Adhd, can't help it

    • Nathan R
      Nathan R Year ago +2

      Sitting is so damned boring.

    • Max Hu
      Max Hu 2 years ago +1

      Same... don't judge me zefrank ; v ;

  • KennonFodder
    KennonFodder 2 years ago +1

    Love where it went... Was like a cheeky finger at the end... Totally unexpected and surprisingly fulfilling

  • Hermit's Playground
    Hermit's Playground 2 years ago

    "Have you ever had such pain in your life that you were so thankful to have a place that needed you and made some sembalnce of sense from a world that seemed to be falling apart" this hit me like a ton of bricks...

  • Sam Vidas
    Sam Vidas 2 years ago +1

    This is actually such a beautiful piece

  • Echos
    Echos 2 years ago

    Not gonna lie: it sounds _kinda_ weird to hear zefrank doing a sponsorship bit. But if it helps him make more amazingly hilarious content, I am 100% into it! ;)

  • Robert Wiley
    Robert Wiley Year ago

    I listen to you because you have a funny explanation of things and I love your goofy personality. Makes learning fun even at my age. Candy

  • Umph
    Umph Year ago

    Imagine being such a vocal talent that Frank looks up to you.

  • Maximus Tailspin
    Maximus Tailspin Year ago

    I was laughing my ass off and I don't work in an office but I could still relate.

  • Boredom 101
    Boredom 101 2 years ago +468

    The next test needs to be about people who work in retail, because that is where all the action is.

    • MungkaeX
      MungkaeX 2 years ago

      Lava Sharknado really defensive there...and still missing the joke in my comment? Hmm... perhaps you really are a retail middle manager.

    • spudthepug
      spudthepug 2 years ago +1

      Have you ever seriously considered brutally murdering the customer in front of you who’s yelling about something that another employee in another state did?
      Have you ever had to deal with the statement “the cat ordered that porno”?
      Do you look at your shift manager at the call center and wonder what circle of Hell they popped into your life from?

    • Brendan Jenkins
      Brendan Jenkins 2 years ago

      @Chandlor Martin I got 4pm -12. What's your shift?

    • Brendan Jenkins
      Brendan Jenkins 2 years ago

      I work at Trader Joe's, can confirm.

    • Danny Caracciolo
      Danny Caracciolo 2 years ago +1

      People who work in fast food/ Dining would be me

  • Aisha with an Eye

    This is brilliant. I can't stop laughing.

  • Matthew Trudeau
    Matthew Trudeau 2 years ago

    Have you ever wondered how to bring thousands of complete strangers together and remind them that they share the same fears and joys; which not only makes us ask deeply personal questions, but more importantly unites us all. These lessons helping us all understand we aren't alone. Well done, sir.

  • Kefka
    Kefka Year ago +4

    2:20 I am convinced that the other person is doing the same thing

  • Nina Van Weelden
    Nina Van Weelden 2 years ago

    I know you’re busy and stuff but I miss a show with Ze Frank and the collaborative communication art you used to create. I’m a linguist and am very interested by human communication, particularly this relatively new form of communication that exists on the internet. I wish it could observe your experiments in connection again.

  • Orion Pax
    Orion Pax 2 years ago +338

    I have had a rough 3 months, from my mother, and my cousin that i was close to both passing, and then today finding out i lost my job. This video made me feel normal. Im actually in tears. Thank you.

    • Orion Pax
      Orion Pax 2 years ago +1

      This is why TheXvid is my favorite social media, as i have seen people come together the best here. IMHO. I will be ok. My company is closing so i have 90 days to find something. Should be plenty of time. I have a good support net with my wife and kids. Thank you everyone for the kind words.

    • Spark Gap
      Spark Gap 2 years ago +1

      I hope you find your peace, life is hard on all of us in different ways, but you can see from the outpouring here that even strangers care

    • David E
      David E 2 years ago

      I'm sorry dude. Itll get better.

    • catyear75
      catyear75 2 years ago +1

      So sorry Orion ! Sending prayers and love !

    • Hollz Walsh
      Hollz Walsh 2 years ago

      *hugs* I’m sorry man :(

  • sarina76667
    sarina76667 2 years ago

    Thank god this video exists! Every day I go in to that place where everyone else seems to inherently understand all the social rules of how to be friendly at work without being too friendly or not friendly enough so that people are worried about you. Or how to be happy or excited about something without bothering people. Or how to have hobbies that don’t prompt people to wonder about your mental health or maturity level. How to be intelligent or creative without being too intelligent and/or creative. Every day at work and every family gathering I am left wondering if I am indeed human or if I’m really an alien put on this earth and raised human to serve as a social experiment to see how people handle weird. Thank you for making this video.

  • Backdoor Destroyer
    Backdoor Destroyer 2 years ago

    That last one hit me hard. I love you ZeFrank❤️

  • jess bock
    jess bock 7 months ago

    Having never worked in an office I imagine this is similar to how former prison inmates end up back in prison, for the comfort.

  • Goattacular
    Goattacular Year ago +1

    This is why I love my low paying job.
    I drive for a living.
    My office has windows all the way around that can open, with a great view of vineyards, orchards, ranches, and rolling hills and valleys.
    I make my own hours, and report to no one.
    I have no co-workers.
    I get to choose the music played in my office, or opt for no music and just enjoy the sound of the engine as I decide to suddenly take the day off and go fishing and camping in the beautiful Cascade mountains.
    I also have no student loans to pay off because I realized quite early that college is a racket.
    I live a life of freedom, and get to see new places on a daily basis.
    Nobody has high expectations of me except for me, and I can achieve my goals at my own pace.

  • Romantic Outlaw
    Romantic Outlaw 2 years ago +519

    you're missing one, Ze;
    "Have you ever been chewed out by your boss for the very same mistake you've seen them make in the past and felt about two inches tall because of it?"

    • Hestonio
      Hestonio 2 years ago

      @Romantic Outlaw One of the greatest lies we as humans tell ourselves is that the future is predictable. Embrace that fact and you'll realize you can find another job more easily than you'd predict.

    • jonnda
      jonnda 2 years ago +1

      Have you ever been fired for being late, even though you had to cover the cash register for co-workers that came in 10 minutes later than you did? And they never got reprimanded?
      I have.

    • Jason Robertson
      Jason Robertson 2 years ago

      As a manager if u make the same mistake it's cause you didn't do your job and I had to try.

    • Nanda Cande
      Nanda Cande 2 years ago +3

      Or pulled into the office and given a write up for following instructions from a supervisor that got the instruction from your boss a week prior. Wtf am I supposed to do! 👾 glad she doesn't work there anymore.

    • Romantic Outlaw
      Romantic Outlaw 2 years ago +4

      @42 jade I mean, fair, but I prefer knowing where my next meal is coming from. The last time I was out of a job it was for 3 months, even at entry level. It's all well and good to say all that, but I have mouths to feed and uncertainty is the last thing I can afford.

  • Wuft Chan
    Wuft Chan Year ago

    love how hes sponsored by audible does he voice for them? cause id read a book regardless of what it was if he voice acted it with his own flare to it

  • Aiden Goodrich
    Aiden Goodrich Year ago

    wow i thought i wa gonna have a casual laugh and have ended up being truly moved like i never thought this channel could do

  • Unreal Reality
    Unreal Reality Year ago

    I have never worked in an office, yet I feel that all of these still apply to me. What does that mean? Am-Am I a robot? One that was cruelly programmed to be able to hope and dream, yet never truly able to do so as a human would?

  • Prehistoric Puppet
    Prehistoric Puppet 2 years ago

    . Man, these questions are great. Please make more human tests. Maybe do one for school

  • Pimp Stallion
    Pimp Stallion 2 years ago +628

    Was bouncing my knees like a child that has to go to the bathroom literally as you said that. You got me good Zefrank

    • TheReaverOfDarkness
      TheReaverOfDarkness 2 years ago

      @shego1142 ^ this
      And for the record, I do have autism.

    • Grendorf
      Grendorf 2 years ago

      @shego1142 cool, didnt know it was healty or even that it had a name. (i got the adhd)

    • shego1142
      shego1142 2 years ago +3

      Stimming! It’s called stimming or “self stimulation” and it keeps our brains engaged with our bodies!
      It’s something Autistic people and people with adhd do often
      (we’re not the only peeps who do it we just need to do it more and often in different ways)
      leg shaking is just one version of it, pen clicking can be another example, but it can be very necessary for health reasons! ^_^
      For adhd peeps stimming can help them focus on things better by keeping their brain engaged with the world around them
      And for autistic peeps like me stimming can be a lot of different things, from helping me focus to a way of expressing myself to a way to keep calm in high stress situations or to help mitigate my sensory issues!
      Stimming is something everyone does but some peeps do it more/for different reasons!
      That’s also why “fidget spinners” and “slime” became so popular, they weren’t ever meant to be thought of toys, they’re supposed to be helpful for people!
      They’re relaxing, calming and engaging tools to help everyone but especially people who need them the most!

    • TheReaverOfDarkness
      TheReaverOfDarkness 2 years ago +2

      @Lowen Actually it's not. The symptoms of restless leg syndrome involve legs feeling an urge to move which can become uncomfortable. My legs simply elect to move when I'm not thinking about it, and I can stop it without problem.

    • Lowen
      Lowen 2 years ago

      RLS its called. Restless Leg Syndrom.

  • theaberrantdon
    theaberrantdon 2 years ago

    This channel is one of the best things to happen to the internet.

  • Carolyn Talbot
    Carolyn Talbot Year ago

    This was so much more touching than I expected.

  • Ann Carlson
    Ann Carlson Year ago

    I love his videos and this is especially spot on

  • XenoXTA
    XenoXTA 2 years ago

    Though this video, as most zefrank creations are, was brilliant, soothing and mesmerising, I am now confronted with the possible conclusion that I am in fact... not human.

  • Flynn Alek
    Flynn Alek 2 years ago +802

    “And have you worried that they might recognize your shoes?” That one hit me hard

    • zimtak64
      zimtak64 7 months ago

      As hard as that bowel movement.😅

    • YouTube's Ad Hominem
      YouTube's Ad Hominem Year ago +1

      that's why i wear different shoes when going to the bathroom.

    • Clay Kalmar
      Clay Kalmar Year ago

      Totally recognized my boss's shoes after he blew up the toilet in the stall next to me lol.

    • Cp.x.20
      Cp.x.20 Year ago +2

      When I was a little kid I used to cheat at Heads Down Thumbs Up by putting my forehead on the desk and checking whoever pushed my thumbs' shoes out, bc I was a tiny devil determined to win 😂

    • Nirrrina
      Nirrrina Year ago

      Keep a spare pair of shoes handy & change them.

  • Karen Page
    Karen Page 2 years ago

    The bathroom situation with the toilet I can definitely relate too lol

  • Blue Falcons Suck

    I have worked my entire teen and adult life either building or demolishing things. I've never had an office job.
    Scoring a ZERO on this, I feel even more human.

  • Max Hu
    Max Hu 2 years ago +14

    3:01 When zefrank says earbuds I feel like I'm looking at an apple earbud case which is the fish, and the earbuds poking out, the fish's eyeballs.

  • Nick Baker
    Nick Baker Year ago

    I’ve never worked in an office, but I came up with a solid 17 positive answers. Not sure if ashamed or proud 🧐

  • Oliver Shannon
    Oliver Shannon 2 years ago +85

    Have you ever realized that ZeFrank was a purveyor of ASMR and his voice makes pigeons coo?
    That is how this channel do.

  • HoneyBool
    HoneyBool 2 years ago

    I came here expecting a bit happier ending than your TED talk Human test, and the fear deep in my heart that it would make me wistful and hollow proved true.

  • Buckeye Believer
    Buckeye Believer 11 months ago

    That recommendation for Stephen Fry’s mythos is excellent. One of the best audiobooks I’ve ever consumed