This Animated Christian Movie is Beyond Bad

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  • Published on Jan 24, 2022
  • Current and I are giving away $5,000! Sign up with my code "TED" and we'll be sending $500 to 10 of you folks www.current.com/ted
    In this video I take a look at Joshua and The Promised Land, a movie that has been suggested to me for a while, and I finally decided to take a look at it. It is the most horrifying religious movie I've ever seen.
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    Outro: Pls Proceed by Baron Grand
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 3 048

  • Ted Nivison
    Ted Nivison  4 months ago +12655

    For all of you concerned about my eyes being red, it was because I had been wearing contacts all day and I had to switch them out, and that whole process of switching them made my eyes red. I was not high. Drugs are a sin. I've never ever done any weed before and there's actually no evidence you could find online that I have done weed. Sorry!

  • MAYO
    MAYO 4 months ago +8009

    on schlatt's jenga stream the other day i literally heard ted mention that "moses slaughtered people for worshiping a golden calf" and i was so confused bc it was so out of pocket BUT IT MAKES SENSE NOW LMAOO HE STILL HAD THE MOVIE ON HIS MIND

    • Ayden Smith
      Ayden Smith 9 days ago

      i literally watched schlatts jenga stream to hear that in the wild

    • who's the rock?
      who's the rock? 16 days ago

      @Brayden Hopkins @Shuruff
      Nice

    • MackWaffle
      MackWaffle Month ago

      @Shuruff904💤 it is a joke of "Schlatt's" channel

    • Ulises Marvels
      Ulises Marvels 2 months ago +1

      I literally paused the vid to read this comment right before the scene Lol

    • J M
      J M 3 months ago +2

      @Shuruff904💤 yeah okay, "Shuruff"

  • Sawyer Paul
    Sawyer Paul 3 months ago +990

    “This ghost is a registered sex offender. Everything this guy has said other than a lesson about God has been sus.”
    Ah, so he’s a _priest._ Gotcha.

    • D-Hawk Beats
      D-Hawk Beats 21 day ago

      This is funny but it also hurts lmao

    • 《☆Loona☆》
      《☆Loona☆》 25 days ago +1

      THATS WHAT I SAID I WAS LIKE "HOLY SHIT MAN THATS SOME SEX OFFENDER SHIT WHAT THA FUCK-?!"

    • Guy
      Guy Month ago +6

      That killed me💀

    • vinnie beloved
      vinnie beloved 2 months ago +36

      the way i cackled at this oh my god

  • THE NERD
    THE NERD 3 months ago +1916

    I just realized that every character in the film was one of Joshua’s toys on the shelf that Chris the Static Angel decided to peek at.

    • Oakoe
      Oakoe 10 days ago +1

      Oh my god Jim Lion is a genius

    • Sir Heinz Beenz
      Sir Heinz Beenz 14 days ago

      Deep

    • LikeAPro42
      LikeAPro42 16 days ago +2

      Maybe that’s why Chris looked at the toys. He used them as a base to craft the dream Joshua had

    • F1nn0180
      F1nn0180 Month ago +8

      now that's good writing

    • Sea Forest
      Sea Forest 2 months ago +1

      Holy shet you’re right.

  • Ethan Dunlap
    Ethan Dunlap 3 months ago +1977

    You know, one of the best things about Ted is that even at 1.17 MILLION subscribers, he STILL goes through and likes people's different comments. That's just so cool of him, what a super guy. Ted, you're a real super guy.

    • GARBAGE FIRE
      GARBAGE FIRE 9 days ago

      Expert fisherman right here...

    • Ethan Dunlap
      Ethan Dunlap Month ago

      @Ted Nivison See what I mean? A real super guy.

    • tjuyftutjyfudt
      tjuyftutjyfudt Month ago +1

      @Get Owmed I believe that is referred to as a joke.

  • ItsIsabel
    ItsIsabel 3 months ago +322

    The fact that this movie is legitimately just a one-man project made in a guy’s basement and most likely voiced by people he knows is the part that gets me.

    • Ayden Smith
      Ayden Smith 11 days ago +1

      this amazes me and scares me

    • nightstar6
      nightstar6 Month ago +10

      That makes it a little less bad to me. To be fair, i probably wouldn't do any better

  • Cecily Cardew
    Cecily Cardew 4 months ago +5356

    That lion dad is lucky he's in a Christian film, 'cause I'm pretty sure aggression displays like "baring your teeth at a lioness" just earn you a violent ass-kicking in real lion culture

    • Bippster
      Bippster 28 days ago

      @Patrick Cox
      oh no

    • Patrick Cox
      Patrick Cox 28 days ago +2

      @Bippster Big Lion is watching

    • Fart
      Fart Month ago +1

      @Th3 Gr33n 3l3ph4nt okay literally none of this matters or is related to what I said at all.

  • ✦ -LuzLovesU.org- ✦
    ✦ -LuzLovesU.org- ✦ 3 months ago +415

    ‘Also, who is this tiger character? He is absolutely fucking goated, hes like the John Wick of the bible’
    that will FOREVER be one of my favorite Ted quotes

    • Amber C
      Amber C 6 days ago

      I literally was reading this and he said it as i was reading it. Made it twice as funny

    • Shiffyyes
      Shiffyyes 27 days ago +6

      I really like “a rating of 4 pogging Moseses, and 1 angry pharoh.” I don’t know the rating system but it won’t stop me from using it all the time. I’m adding ‘stone-faced Joshua’ and ‘goated tiger’.

  • Ayas
    Ayas 3 months ago +93

    Kinda crazy how right he is when he said:
    "They died for laws they didnt even knew"

  • Chrono
    Chrono 3 months ago +60

    I love how the reason for the people being bad is that they broke laws they never knew about instead of.. y know…
    *brutally killing a child*

  • Uni_øp
    Uni_øp 3 months ago +103

    “He’s like the John Wick of the Bible”
    - Ted Nivison, 2022

    • Uni_øp
      Uni_øp 3 months ago +1

      Time stamp for anyone who wants it - 15:08

  • avi
    avi 4 months ago +2508

    i liked the part in the movie where joshua said "where's the land i was promised" and then he got really angry and set fire to an orphanage

    • Raisin
      Raisin 3 months ago +2

      @LemmeJust *Schlorp* lmao in a Christian movie too

    • Mob
      Mob 3 months ago +2

      Yes.

    • cr0c
      cr0c 3 months ago +10

      without watching the movie, or the video, i dont know if you are kidding... and that is terrifying

    • defective pikachu
      defective pikachu 4 months ago +6

      @LemmeJust *Schlorp* no thats against the teachings of the bible

  • Papa Filth
    Papa Filth 3 months ago +19

    This film has singlehandedly given me such a perplexing feeling inside, my soul feels like its seen something it should not have seen and my brain feels like its obtained a piece of information that may or may not alter my view of life itself.

  • WaxyLT 2146
    WaxyLT 2146 3 months ago +44

    19:04 As a Christian myself, yes, the Bible does have it's comedic moments. This is about the same thought process as God.

  • DeltaDS
    DeltaDS 3 months ago +69

    The use of humans on the egyptian art actually makes sense, since there would have also been anthropomorphic bipedal creatures too. theyve just been swapped

  • FinnLorenzoArt
    FinnLorenzoArt 3 months ago +17

    I love that when the battle scene started Ted entirely stopped talking about how bad the movie is and just started talking about how cool he thought the battle scene was.

  • Callum
    Callum 4 months ago +3612

    8:50 "Sometimes a no means maybe" is the most predatory thing I've heard all day. Chris for sure ain't right in the head.

    • Ox Hens
      Ox Hens 3 months ago

      @mamzee gakara
      Huh that’s strange, could you tell me what you did to get to 7040?

    • mamzee gakara
      mamzee gakara 3 months ago

      @Ox Hens i just did a google calculator and i got 7040

    • mamzee gakara
      mamzee gakara 3 months ago

      @AxxL so more than 7040 fans? that's not alot tbh

    • Barroth OnTheRocks
      Barroth OnTheRocks 3 months ago +2

      brings back memories of that one johnny bravo episode where donny osmond tells him that maybe is just a baby you have to nurture until it says yes

    • ᗰOᗷAMвᗩ
      ᗰOᗷAMвᗩ 3 months ago

      @AxxL ?

  • hhatticus
    hhatticus 3 months ago +8

    I’ve accidentally watched this video 3 times now, and every time it somehow surprises me with its insanity. Humorous as ever, Ted. Also this movie is fucking bonkers

  • Natural selection
    Natural selection 3 months ago +4

    The fact my school actually showed us movies like this in my guidance class- I specifically remember one that had this animation quality and a talking pack of cigarettes- just straight up guilt tripping third graders through it

  • Gage Henning
    Gage Henning 2 months ago +6

    “Not only were they killed by the water pressure falling upon them……
    they were also eaten alive by sharks.”
    Damn it, Ted. That was so fucking funny.

  • Krysten Abigayle
    Krysten Abigayle 3 months ago +9

    11:36 "these characters look like they're very recently learning motor skills"
    1:55 "our main character joshua is incredibly good at motor skills"
    SOMETHINGS NOT ADDING UP TED

  • Monkey
    Monkey 3 months ago +1267

    I feel at 27:14 the reason they apologized so quickly was they felt the aura of a 44 year old with years of combat experience who killed the literal devil in the body of their 7 year old son. I would too

    • Erin W.
      Erin W. 13 days ago

      I mean for real tho

    • Chrono
      Chrono 2 months ago +1

      I don’t have a goo comment here I’m just gonna tell you that you have 600 likes

  • BeaAteTheBees
    BeaAteTheBees 3 months ago +8

    6:10 THE FACT THAT THIS IS A KIDS MOVIE AND THEYRE TEACHING KIDS TO DO THIS PLEASE IM DIEING THIS IS SO FUNNY

  • kamryn hernandez
    kamryn hernandez 3 months ago +6

    this made me re-realize why i’m atheist. thank u ted

    • Nostalgia
      Nostalgia 15 days ago

      same XD Gave me another reason

  • PS1 Hagrid ouf of character
    PS1 Hagrid ouf of character 3 months ago +11

    this feels like the kind of Ted video that is so timeless i thought it was uploaded years ago and have already watched it twice but it was uploaded this week??? what???

  • Simon Wilcox
    Simon Wilcox 3 months ago +10

    I like how Joshua just hit the griddy when chasing a quail like hold up bro im getting sturdy

    • BingDingGold
      BingDingGold 29 days ago +1

      That sentence gave me as much whiplash as the entire movie

  • Kristin Ella
    Kristin Ella 4 months ago +2035

    I choked on my breakfast at "This ghost is a registered sex offender!" and very nearly saw God. At least the movie is effective?

    • THE NERD
      THE NERD 3 months ago

      @miroxion he almost choked to death on his breakfast due to laughing and almost went to heaven, which is where God is.

    • Ommino
      Ommino 3 months ago +1

      @miroxion he was eating the. Heard ted’s joke and almost chocked thus dying and seeing god which he states it’s an effective movie

    • DRIVE THROUGH THE ART TRACK,S LAYER!
      DRIVE THROUGH THE ART TRACK,S LAYER! 3 months ago +14

      God says game ending yourself is a sin, so all this movie is is a loophole to legally see god after an early death from choking to death. Bravo, very brave

  • Nina
    Nina 3 months ago +8

    I started laughing uncontrollably within the first minute of this video.

  • ☆ Ari ☆
    ☆ Ari ☆ 3 months ago +4

    I watched this completely sober and I feel like this entire movie is equivalent to an edible. Maybe not a 400mg one, but still a decent amount.

  • Racc Attacc
    Racc Attacc Month ago +2

    So easter is today right? And my family wanted to find a movie to watch, so we found a movie called "easterland" and it's terrible. Absolutly horrendous. My god it's the whole package, animation, voice acting, storytelling. Oh and theres a second one aswell!

  • vbddfy euuyt
    vbddfy euuyt 3 months ago +4

    I love how disheveled Ted looks in this one. Truly this movie has taken it's toll.

  • ryan thompson
    ryan thompson 2 months ago +1

    i watched the movie and, for how awful it is, chris' voice actor actually did a pretty good job. props to you chris

  • Teth47
    Teth47 23 days ago +3

    7:50 That shit is hilarious, in the actual Bible, the pharaoh was going to let the Jews go, but God intervened and "hardened his heart", literally acting through the pharaoh to keep the Jews imprisoned, and then punished *all of Egypt* because the pharaoh did the thing God literally forced him to do against his will.
    Imagine you found a country, make it illegal to kill people, then grab someone's hands and use them to beat someone to death, then as punishment you kill everyone in the town they were the mayor of and burn them at the stake.
    Also this film feels like it's the first step in child grooming. Sheesh.

    • CodemanCZ
      CodemanCZ 4 days ago

      God didn't harden his heart, the thought of God did.

  • Ashton Dauncey
    Ashton Dauncey 3 months ago +5

    "He's like the John wick of the bible"
    My favorite words said ever.

  • The Queen Of Cringe
    The Queen Of Cringe 18 days ago +1

    Saberspark’s reanimated version of this movie is by far one of the greatest abominations I’ve ever seen in my life. There’s the perfect amount of people genuinely trying their best, people just shitposting, and furries. And the different interpretations of Chris really top it all off.

  • M0ss3
    M0ss3 4 months ago +1549

    “They killed a baby” Joshua says calmly, showing no emotion.

    • M0ss3
      M0ss3 4 days ago

      @CodemanCZ probably

    • CodemanCZ
      CodemanCZ 4 days ago +1

      If you saw a baby get sacrificed, I guarantee you'd have a thousand yard stare and become completely apathetic too.

    • M0ss3
      M0ss3 3 months ago +1

      @unironicallygae PFFT-

    • M0ss3
      M0ss3 3 months ago +1

      @Bathynymeus yea

    • M0ss3
      M0ss3 3 months ago +1

      @TofuDaTurtle lol

  • Cami Yu
    Cami Yu 3 months ago +5

    Ah the good old days, when i spent an hour of my life watching this movie that i could never take back

  • Turkeybywhatmeans
    Turkeybywhatmeans 2 months ago +4

    20:05
    *So he stood at the entrance to the camp and said, “Whoever is for the Lord, come to me.” And all the Levites rallied to him.*
    *Then he said to them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Each man strap a sword to his side. Go back and forth through the camp from one end to the other, each killing his brother and friend and neighbor.’” 28 The Levites did as Moses commanded, and that day about three thousand of the people died.*
    holy cow

  • 23Bumolo23
    23Bumolo23 3 months ago +14

    The fighting scene of this movie makes me laugh every time
    Like there's this random "ololololo" sound in the background and the tiger is kicking everyone's ass.

  • Samtheman
    Samtheman Month ago +1

    The idea of a character going through a 40 year long dream as a kid is legitimately a cool cool concept for a film.

  • ashr314
    ashr314 4 months ago +2464

    I'm 90% sure that the reason this looks so bad is that they spent all of their budget on the destruction physics in the last scene.

    • spency kings
      spency kings 3 months ago +3

      im like four minutes in and i'm... pretty sure the house model is the same as who's your daddy

    • Samuel Clark
      Samuel Clark 3 months ago +8

      Naw, they spent most of it on weed.

    • E.king5897
      E.king5897 3 months ago +16

      @Sam Bradley 4 yrs? Oof

    • Sam Bradley
      Sam Bradley 3 months ago +45

      there is no budget, it was a passion project that took 4 years

  • Double Trouble
    Double Trouble Month ago +2

    Wow, he actually says: "Big Dick Hammer"... unironically as well...
    Additionally, by far the most psychotic part of this movie is the music...

  • Qualitysket
    Qualitysket Month ago +2

    Is there any movie that has really shitty animation but like a really good plot and story? If so I really want our lord Nivison to review it

  • Hulk_Sm0sh
    Hulk_Sm0sh Month ago +3

    Every Christian movie studio wants what VeggieTales had but they will never get it. VeggieTales was absolutely goated and nothing can compare.
    Also, I am a Christian and I have grown up in the church my whole life but honestly ... the Old Testament is so confusing and some of the stories in it are absolutely wild to say the least. May I recommend Elisha and the bears?

  • Liam Mann
    Liam Mann 3 months ago +1

    Hey man, I’m a huge fan. I love the amount of effort you put into your videos, even though I find you naturally funny without editing. I hate I’m using this video to say this but here way are. Lol keep up the content man, we all love it.

  • Delphic_Djinn
    Delphic_Djinn 3 months ago +2

    According to my parents, I'm legally obligated to say that this movie rocks!!
    Remember, hell is bad, and so is talking bad about this movie!!

  • GreeneBean
    GreeneBean 3 months ago +3

    this is genuinely the funniest video i’ve watched in a long time

  • Banjo Peppers
    Banjo Peppers 12 days ago +1

    This is the only movie I've ever seen where I think it would be LESS creepy if the animals were anatomically correct.

  • yuitr loing
    yuitr loing 3 months ago +1

    I love how disheveled Ted looks in this one. Truly this movie has taken it's toll.

  • Alexandre Longobardi
    Alexandre Longobardi 3 months ago +1

    your channel is easily my favourite nowadays! Keep the good work Ted, I was having a pretty shit day but as I watched this I could not stop laughing for a second !!! ✌✌✌

  • Come Fast To Get Into My Body

    As a secular Jewish person, who knows very little about the Bible (all my knowledge comes from school classes), this is probably the most inaccurate representation of the Moses story that I have ever seen

    • Halcyon
      Halcyon 3 months ago +6

      @Simon Blackwell It's a copied comment. Most of these bots do that to look "real"

  • hhatticus
    hhatticus 29 days ago +2

    THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR. I HAVE WATCHED THIS VIDEO MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT. RELEASE ME FROM THIS CURSE, TED. PLEASE. I HAVE 3 ESSAYS DUE, BUT I CANT WORK ON THEM BECAUSE I KEEP WATCHING THIS VIDEO!!!!

  • Nostalgia
    Nostalgia 15 days ago +1

    I feel like I'm on a "little trip" Trying to understand what's going on in this film
    Edit: I think I'm gonna have nightmares

  • Skylar Chungus
    Skylar Chungus 4 months ago +3844

    You’ve made it Ted…my grandma now loves your content.

    • QA1PPUCC1N0 ♡
      QA1PPUCC1N0 ♡ 3 months ago +2

      @Greg Newhouse
      Momento mori my guy, but what does the Mughal Empire gotta do with this?

    • Frog_isGone :]
      Frog_isGone :] 3 months ago +4

      @Greg Newhouse I do love history, but this is completely unrelated-

    • unironicallygae
      unironicallygae 3 months ago +7

      @Greg Newhouse what?

    • Greg Newhouse
      Greg Newhouse 3 months ago +8

      The Mughal Empire was founded by Babur (reigned 1526-1530), a Central Asian ruler who was descended from the Turco-Mongol conqueror Timur (the founder of the Timurid Empire) on his father's side, and from Genghis Khan on his mother's side.[49] Ousted from his ancestral domains in Central Asia, Babur turned to India to satisfy his ambitions.[50] He established himself in Kabul and then pushed steadily southward into India from Afghanistan through the Khyber Pass.[49] Babur's forces defeated Ibrahim Lodhi in Panipat. Before the battle, Babur sought divine favour by abjuring liquor, breaking the wine vessels and pouring the wine down a well. However, by this time Lodhi's empire was already crumbling and it was actually the Mewar Kingdom which was the strongest power of Northern India under capable rule of Rana Sanga. In a decisive battle fought near Agra, Timurid forces of Babur defeated Rajput army of Sanga. The battle was one of the most decisive and historic battle in Indian history as it sealed the fate of Northern India for next two centuries.

    • QA1PPUCC1N0 ♡
      QA1PPUCC1N0 ♡ 4 months ago +4

      @Danny Boy
      Are you serious.

  • Samtheman
    Samtheman Day ago

    I like to think that the purple demon wasn't actually in the original product, its a spirit that possessed this cursed film to try and explain the lunacy of this story.

  • Mariano Kaz
    Mariano Kaz 3 months ago +15

    22:08 "Chris is literally gaslighting a child into performing genocide now"
    Sounds like Flowey to me.

    • Gasterthemaster
      Gasterthemaster 3 months ago +2

      Never have heard something more true than that.

  • siennabug
    siennabug 3 months ago +1

    as a person who goes to school at a 'Christian school' I got my religious studies teacher to play this in class. he generally loved it. this is also the teacher who explained in many classes in 7th grade on how adultery works.

  • No Thou
    No Thou 2 months ago +2

    No matter how many times I watch this it is still funny

  • TheSportsGuru
    TheSportsGuru 4 months ago +2684

    Coming from a Christian background, I can tell you that there are more of these sorts of movies, and that they mostly originate from a person or group of people having a desire to make educational Christian content for kids but having a *very* limited budget and also having no idea what they're doing. I haven't seen any that are nearly as bad as this, but Veggietales are not the norm.

    • Michael Looks
      Michael Looks 3 months ago

      The production of VeggieTales is pretty crazy, they were a small indie team pulling some massive hours. One dude literally did nothing but sleep and animate for like a month straight iirc.

    • Michael Looks
      Michael Looks 3 months ago

      @TaxEvader22
      321 Penguins placed less emphasis on parodying Bible stories than VeggieTales, focusing on generally good morals such as sharing with others and refraining from excess or jealousy.
      There was usually at least one verse read from "the good book" (bible) by the grandma to help guide the kids. This is the main reason it's a "Christian" show.

    • Chewy Cucumbers
      Chewy Cucumbers 3 months ago +1

      I remember going to like a Christian summer camp and we’d watch episodes of like a chipmunk and I think he was looking for m&ms or something? Does anyone know this???
      Nvm I found it. it’s Cheddar the chipmunk. Everyday we watched one episode of this show for the week long camp

    • TheSportsGuru
      TheSportsGuru 3 months ago +2

      @¡!Juniper¡! (#TECHNOSUPPORT) Sounds to me like it was less the content of VeggieTales and more the context of what it represents in your life that you dislike. It's a great show. Not so much if it's forced upon you in that way, and that goes for just about anything. Sorry that happened.

  • pickled bread
    pickled bread 24 days ago

    I feel like I should send this weird movie to all of my friends, just because. I can already see their confusion.

  • Blue
    Blue Month ago +1

    I think the worst part is every event in this "historically accurate movie" is that ever event happens in christian mythology

  • westley:D
    westley:D 23 days ago +5

    sometimes i forget that people actually BELIEVE that this shit happened (the biblical version not the Jim Lion version), fucking insanity.

    • westley:D
      westley:D 2 days ago

      @CodemanCZ and insinuating that i'm in eighth grade is a valid argument? what point are you trying to prove here?

    • CodemanCZ
      CodemanCZ 3 days ago

      @westley:D Damn bro, looks like I missed one letter. My entire argument is now invalid.

    • westley:D
      westley:D 3 days ago

      @CodemanCZ you'd wanna know; you clearly haven't passed eighth grade with grammar like that.

    • CodemanCZ
      CodemanCZ 4 days ago

      How's eight grade going?

  • The Real Rayman
    The Real Rayman 2 months ago +1

    Its been over a month. I now understand why chris looked at joshuas toys. He used them to represent some of the people and characters on their "little trip". I believe we can even see the legs of a tiger toy!

  • Moth Lesbian ☆
    Moth Lesbian ☆ 4 months ago +1934

    Saberspark got his community together to reanimate Joshua and the Promised Land, I highly reccomend watching it!
    Lots of biblically accurate angels 😌

    • The Unepic Gamer
      The Unepic Gamer 3 months ago +2

      @Drink. Some. Water. Could you explain how symbols are for simple minded people?

    • Matthew Westmoreland
      Matthew Westmoreland 3 months ago +9

      @The Unepic Gamer No, they're pretty explicit. Angels are divided into categories. Seraphim have six wings with two covering their eyes. Cherubim have four faces, a lion, a human, an eagle and an ox, and some angels appeared like intersecting wheels or men dressed in white. In the Bible, this is taken pretty literally. Angels are supposed to be intimidating to mortals, not gentle and pleasing to the eye.
      But perhaps you meant that it's all a nice story designed to teach us morals and isn't actually describing reality, which I would agree with.

    • Ezra Moss menuck
      Ezra Moss menuck 3 months ago +2

      as a jew.... I....

    • BurntToaster
      BurntToaster 3 months ago +2

      Can I get a link?

    • LNF CarlosR
      LNF CarlosR 4 months ago +5

      Omg that was the video I’ve seen due to a comment thanks

  • wuoi zuiu
    wuoi zuiu 3 months ago

    I love how disheveled Ted looks in this one. Truly this movie has taken it's toll.

  • CodemanCZ
    CodemanCZ 4 days ago

    Those Amalekites are actually pretty spot on. They are the people of Amalek, a Biblical giant, and like many Biblical giants are often portrayed as hairy beast-men.
    Also, I think Jim here is aware of a theme that God always picks the biggest losers and brings them to power for his glory. Nowhere is this exemplified more than in the Hebrews' repeated inability to follow basic commandments.

  • Carter Round
    Carter Round Month ago +4

    The Story of Moses takes place in the 13th century BCE
    Swords weren’t invented until 3300 BCE
    Chariots weren’t invented until 3000 BCE
    War hammers weren’t invented until the 15th century AD
    Numerous historical mistakes in that battle scene alone

  • ShyGuy
    ShyGuy Month ago

    8:58 if I wasn't trying not to wake people up, I woulda laughed harder than I've ever laughed in my life

  • James Creations
    James Creations 4 months ago +1320

    This movie was dragged from the deep dark depths of hell to teach us a *biblically accurate* story about a lion with emotionally abusive parents

    • Bacon2000
      Bacon2000 25 days ago

      @James Creations it aint any Cristian that reads the Bible every day can spot plenty of inaccuracies and things they glimpsed over

    • Bacon2000
      Bacon2000 25 days ago

      I'm a Cristian and I do not approve of this movie I spotted plenty of not biblically accurate things

    • James Creations
      James Creations 2 months ago +6

      @Justin Martin No Justin I assure you.. it is biblically accurate.

    • Justin Martin
      Justin Martin 3 months ago +5

      Like most of Christianity, most Christians have cherry picked out all the parts they don’t like.

    • Justin Martin
      Justin Martin 3 months ago +3

      Except that’s it’s not biblically accurate.

  • DemonPrincess
    DemonPrincess 20 days ago +2

    now i want to make a horror game in the style of this movie

  • DarkAshden
    DarkAshden 3 months ago +3

    I actually got the 500$ for signing up with current. I want to let you know you basically paid my rent for me. Thank you 🙏🙏 much love Ted 💕

  • Th3Gr1mR3ap3r
    Th3Gr1mR3ap3r 3 months ago +1

    They should remaster this absolutely phenomenal piece of filmmaking

  • Skelly
    Skelly 3 months ago

    I have now watched this video four days in a row. Yeah, this is a certified comfort video. Thanks for making me smile, Ted.

  • Awkward Aidan
    Awkward Aidan 4 months ago +7882

    Ah yes, Chris. The most important character in the Old Testament.

    • Sors
      Sors 3 months ago +2

      Finally, People finally appreciate me in the old testament.

    • Chris
      Chris 3 months ago +1

      you've summoned me

    • Chris Reardon
      Chris Reardon 3 months ago +1

      @Leaky Steve the name chris, short for christ/christopher in greek roughly means christ bearer

    • fischer quinn
      fischer quinn 3 months ago +3

      @Leaky Steve i thought it stood for brian

  • Joshua Swenk
    Joshua Swenk 3 months ago

    as a man of the faith… i love that Ted is more biblically accurate than the movie

  • ryan mclean
    ryan mclean Month ago

    Love how Ted always gives shoutouts to the people who made similar content

  • Chosen Undead
    Chosen Undead 3 months ago

    Gotta love how when the angels first arrive it shows one of the demon things get infront of 2 others like it's trying to protect them

  • Kai Birdwhistell
    Kai Birdwhistell 2 months ago +1

    The fact that a character in a biblical movie is named Chris, and acts like my uncle makes me lose my faith in humanity.

  • Suffering Artist
    Suffering Artist 3 months ago

    Ted looking like he’s on the verge of tears truly is the perfect topping on a cake

  • Dumbass Inc
    Dumbass Inc 3 months ago +1

    I'm so glad that you've discovered this masterpiece

  • CelticShadow
    CelticShadow 3 months ago

    i love videos like this, breaking down shitty movies is one of my favorite things.

  • DeerlyDiaphonized
    DeerlyDiaphonized 3 months ago +4

    14:45 I can't be the only one who completely forgot that Chris' name was fucking Chris by this point, right? Please validate me.

  • Space Ace
    Space Ace 4 months ago +664

    I'm so glad the only Christian content I was subjected to as a child was veggie tales and the prince of Egypt and not whatever I just witnessed

    • sproutsey
      sproutsey 3 months ago

      veggie tales appreciation

    • sproutsey
      sproutsey 3 months ago

      @Throwaway Acc oh my god that song is a work of art

    • No No
      No No 3 months ago +1

      Pls I didn't even know Veggietales was Christian as a child, I just liked it cus *funny dancing vegetables*

    • To be Continued
      To be Continued 4 months ago +2

      @Solger Passion of Christ: Am I a joke to you?

  • 𝖶𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖡𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗇 TPWK

    Imagine you’re high on drugs, but you’re a Christian. That’s literally this movie

  • maddogmatt44
    maddogmatt44 3 months ago +1

    There's times I come across a youtube video and I say "This is the best video that i've seen" but today I realized that was all a god damn lie after watching this fuckin master piece!

  • tabtais
    tabtais 3 months ago +5

    As someone raised into christianity because it's apparently 'natural' for a parent to teach you about their own religion and no other ones, if I was shown this movie as a kid I would stray the farthest I can from God

  • CaptLumpycake
    CaptLumpycake Month ago +1

    I love how no one questions that the most blood thirsty warrior has a 7 year old voice

  • Gianna Barbee
    Gianna Barbee 3 months ago

    That was a whole emotional trip and also the best transition to a sponsor, 10/10 video

  • Stardust
    Stardust 18 days ago

    I feel like I’m laugher harder because I am a Christian 😂😂😂 I nearly cried laughing at your commentary.

  • FriendlyCanadian
    FriendlyCanadian Month ago +2

    This film made me fear God. Because if I go to heaven, the intro cinematic would probably be this whole movie.

  • Abisnail :3
    Abisnail :3 3 months ago +1

    You should review the 14-minute bonus movie that the movie poster says is included next! It would probably be funny to watch

  • Beara B
    Beara B 4 months ago +1328

    The lion-parent argument unlocked my memories of that facade game. “tinkering with that car again, trip?”
    “its my day off, grace!”

    • rat
      rat 2 months ago +3

      @Copper I think it's time for you to leave. *Pushes you out of the door*

    • Space
      Space 3 months ago +17

      @Copper 😮😠 Okay, I think it's your time to leave.

    • STR8UPVILLAIN
      STR8UPVILLAIN 3 months ago +2

      MCDONALDS NAD YOU

    • 50 Blessings
      50 Blessings 3 months ago +31

      @Copper *stares at you awkwardly for 3 seconds*
      *Game crashes*

    • Scooped Kiwis!!
      Scooped Kiwis!! 3 months ago +13

      They sound so eerily similar

  • Steam Engine
    Steam Engine 3 months ago

    me and my friends watched this together about a year ago an i must say your review is stunning

  • Npcishere
    Npcishere 3 months ago +1

    14:06 is the most ridiculous chain of events to ever happen in a film ever

  • •AlphaGamingWolf•
    •AlphaGamingWolf• Month ago +1

    When I went to a Christian school we actually watched a movie very simular to this just on Adam and Eve instead... I don't know how I don't have truma from it but it was really weird and messed up like this movie

  • Plastic Rat
    Plastic Rat 3 months ago

    Even though I’m a Christian, this is fucking hilarious I was laughing and crying the whole time

  • cgumby
    cgumby 4 months ago +870

    Best thing about your channel is that the random ass topics you cover make them really fun to show to new people

  • Stevie Mcvie
    Stevie Mcvie 3 months ago

    fun fact ! this movie was actually made to show you a representation of what ted saw after eating all of those nerd ropes !!

  • Oodle My Noodle
    Oodle My Noodle 3 months ago

    I remember making my friend watch this at a movie night once. Good times..

  • Bella H
    Bella H 3 months ago

    The happy flute music over the destruction of Jericho was truly a choice someone made. Idk if that choice was made by the actual filmmakers or Ted but either way what a choice