Roadkill. Mark Poolos

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  • Published on Aug 12, 2019
  • Roadkill makes for some interesting stories. Watch "One Wife, Two Daughters & Zero Influence" by Mark Poolos only at www.drybarcomedy.com/markp
  • ComedyComedy

Comments • 110

  • Hyrum Wood
    Hyrum Wood 18 days ago

    My friend hit a hawk with his Chevy Colorado in the middle of the Mojave desert. It was eating something dead on the side of the road and he kept saying "it'll fly away, it'll fly away".......it didn't, big poof of feathers.

  • leathery420
    leathery420 24 days ago

    Man deer are pretty dumb. Have been in two vehicles that hit deer. Both times it was a younger one that literally jumped into the path of the vehicle. One just slid up the hood cracked a bit of the windshield and bent the antenna down. It just got up and hopped away. Then the other was in a work truck I was riding in. Killed the deer instantly with no damage to the vehicle. Had to drag it's body off the road.

    Though as dumb as they are the deer in the area where this happened have learned to stay in town and walk on the side walks to avoid cars and hunters. It's so bad they tried a cull which didn't work for reason I won't get into, as well as talked about opening bow season in the town limits.
    I can think of more than one occasion a deer literally got inside my school. One fawn that was brought it by a student, the other a full grown doe that wondered through a door that was propped open.

  • simo
    simo Month ago

    This is just like the kangaroos in Australia

  • Joe Mccallum
    Joe Mccallum 2 months ago

    There's a reason cows are sold in every supermarket....and a reason deer aren't....if your to stupid to know why, you're a cow.

  • Nancy Louise
    Nancy Louise 2 months ago

    Funny but definitely no armadillos in Omaha.

  • Maggie Bastolla
    Maggie Bastolla 2 months ago +2

    After a duck dinner one night, my mom joyfully explained that the main course had been a causality from her trip to Walmart that afternoon. My sisters and I gagged, but secretly I thought the duck was delicious!

  • Gina Perry
    Gina Perry 2 months ago +1

    That's why you don't see much wildlife, they became roadkill.!🦌

  • Wakandan Spy
    Wakandan Spy 2 months ago +1

    Dog whistle racist comedy is getting big...

  • SeriousName
    SeriousName 3 months ago +1

    I liked all of his other clips. Why not have some consideration and use your brakes every once in a while...You don't HAVE to hit everything in your path you know?

  • IstvanN1961
    IstvanN1961 3 months ago +1

    Deer are so stupid they will run off the side of the road and then turn around and run smack into the SIDE of the car!

  • Owen Schroeder
    Owen Schroeder 3 months ago

    hilarious

  • xyzct
    xyzct 3 months ago

    Is that Randy Jackson?

  • Mary Bruun
    Mary Bruun 3 months ago

    A deer destroyed my son-in-law’s truck...on the eve of his wedding...to my daughter! 🤪

  • Kyle Combes
    Kyle Combes 3 months ago

    Very funny

  • Coastal 805
    Coastal 805 3 months ago +1

    this guys is great!!! watch his special it's awesome!!

  • MikeyDL Studios
    MikeyDL Studios 3 months ago +1

    We have armadillos in Omaha?

  • Gwen King
    Gwen King 3 months ago +1

    When my dad was a trucker (he’s a nurse now) he hit a turkey and it got stuck in his mirrors and his boss told him to stick it in the freezer

  • Heather Wohl
    Heather Wohl 3 months ago

    Deer have been around for generations?

  • Joe Henry
    Joe Henry 3 months ago

    That was a fart grunt att 4:40

  • Jay maxwell
    Jay maxwell 3 months ago

    0:47 humans.

  • Rachel Curl
    Rachel Curl 3 months ago +2

    All of those problems would have been solved if he would have simply stopped to begin with, and let the animals cross. Or pulled over, and moved them. Obviously, he had to stop anyway!

  • D A Theamore
    D A Theamore 3 months ago +39

    Many animals were harmed in the making of this comedy. Lol.

    • Edith Dlp
      Edith Dlp 3 months ago

      Most likely he made all up for the sake of comedy. Let's hope

  • Miss Annabelle
    Miss Annabelle 3 months ago +1

    This is not funny. It's just an insensitive guy who doesn't give a crap about animals and uses their violent deaths (by his doing) to get a few laughs. But honestly, I'd expect as much from someone who obviously eats dead animals as well.... makes a person insensitive to the suffering of other living creatures.

    • Truth Seeker
      Truth Seeker 3 months ago +1

      Umm it’s comedy, his stories probs aren’t true even, but we can all related to the scare of an animal darting across the road in front of us.

  • Ayesha Contarino
    Ayesha Contarino 3 months ago +3

    Kangaroo's do the same thing haha

  • A Kids Perspective
    A Kids Perspective 3 months ago

    Great video 👍

  • Bub Zilla
    Bub Zilla 3 months ago +2

    I live an hour away from Wisconsin Dells and grew up 45 minutes away from there. I've always wondered the same thing as you- why the heck would someone pay to feed deer in Wisconsin???? I've been past that park easily over 100 times and never once been to it. Way more fun stuff to do in the Dells! Also, fun fact: I used to put those little deer whistles on my front bumper. They do work- I've seen it. However, I discovered one tiny little flaw. One day I was driving down a highway with a 90 degree right curve. It was raining and there were several deer, probably 5 or 6, and they were walking in the field to my right. As I approached, the whistle clearly got their attention and they began running parallel to me. Then I came around the 90 degree curve, having to completely stop. Fortunately, the sharp turn and rain kept my speed way down, plus I knew they were there and was watching the entire time. But when I turned, they did not. If I didn't have the whistles, I believe they would have stayed back where I first saw them. The whistles actually scared them into danger, rather than out of it!

  • WhiteRu55ian
    WhiteRu55ian 3 months ago +9

    I took from this tale this guy just likes hitting things with his car...not once did he apply the breaks. like you don’t need to ruin your car man. Breaks are a thing they have been invented they are not fiction. Guy barely misses deer breaks? NOPE hit two more deer.Turkey way off in the distance he does the geometry... Breaks? NOPE....BAM hits turkey. Armadillo? My car will be fine BAM totals car with armadillo. Like DUDE wtf.

  • E K Daufin
    E K Daufin 3 months ago +23

    The roads invaded their habitat, not the other way around.

    • Brad Vincent
      Brad Vincent 3 months ago

      You should watch Alex Epstein and then rethink your whole perspective on nature

  • Elwyn McKenzie
    Elwyn McKenzie 3 months ago +3

    You have deer. We have kangaroos

  • Kanoodles
    Kanoodles 3 months ago +12

    Even those deer think of you as a 12 point buck.

  • rgnestle
    rgnestle 3 months ago +2

    I wish I could give two thumbs up. I've hit a deer before. What was he napping in the center lane of the highway for anyway!??? :)

  • Mike Lyle
    Mike Lyle 3 months ago +2

    Could some of these animals be suicidal?

  • Jordan Richesin
    Jordan Richesin 3 months ago +8

    I'd pay for Mr. Poolos to speak on my voicemail, but Wow, definitely loved this guy's delivery and his voice is so awesome!

  • Austin Sanders
    Austin Sanders 3 months ago +2

    Way too many deer out there, cant go 5 miles without seeing one dead on the side of the road

  • Javier Fernandez
    Javier Fernandez 3 months ago +10

    Hitting a dog for running in front of your car is one thing. But just mowing down animals on the road is a mental disorder.

  • Christine Robinette
    Christine Robinette 3 months ago +4

    Don't insult the deer. They are far more intelligent than you.. you open your mouth and prove it

    • Christine Robinette
      Christine Robinette 3 months ago

      @D k you must lead a very lonely life to keep bothering me .. I have my opinion.... And you have yours... Never did I say I was smart or to good to back up anything you're the one who put that in my mouth.... I said nothing about how people are valued by their intelligence... At times we all say and do stupid things .. And I am probably number one in the universe to that..... My comment was to the comedian first of all and not to you... This will be my last text to you... If you decide to go on your comments will not be seen by me.... I have to go feed the wild life now... And yes that consist of Intelligent Deer as part..... So long. To you Dk

    • Christine Robinette
      Christine Robinette 3 months ago

      @D k No will just shut down this conversation.. Okay... This is not a arena... Good night 👍

    • Christine Robinette
      Christine Robinette 3 months ago

      @D k well aren't you the intellectual 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I don't have to sound smart I just know what I believe...

    • Christine Robinette
      Christine Robinette 3 months ago

      @D k and some humans are not smarter than the average Bear

    • Christine Robinette
      Christine Robinette 3 months ago

      @D k I don't find his humor funny.. I work with Domestic and Wild life.. And they are not Brain dead as some Humans are... You have a good day or night where ever you are. 👍👍👍

  • christi crenshaw
    christi crenshaw 3 months ago +1

    I saw a deer get hit by a big rig and the deer exploded. It was so gross and sad bidy parts all over the place

    • Rebeccah Herdener
      Rebeccah Herdener 3 months ago

      christi crenshaw oh wow. That's a sight to see to last a lifetime. 😬 Sorry u had to see it explode!

  • Annie Stacie
    Annie Stacie 3 months ago +4

    I think Mark Poolos is wonderfully funny and very attractive.

    • Z Dee
      Z Dee 3 months ago +1

      I will pray for you...

  • Pine
    Pine 3 months ago

    sounds like aplfisher

  • Peach Radvan
    Peach Radvan 3 months ago +11

    Dude, are you not aware of how brakes work?!

  • Jessie Quinton
    Jessie Quinton 3 months ago +12

    4:40 ...did he just do a silent fart? XD

    • GewaltSam
      GewaltSam 2 months ago

      wasn't that silent :D

    • SeriousName
      SeriousName 3 months ago

      I had to rewind because I did the same exact thing and didn't notice him doing it, weird!

    • TheDreadedAssassin
      TheDreadedAssassin 3 months ago +3

      " 4:45 ".

  • Mark C
    Mark C 3 months ago +8

    Wow you have to be a special kind of sociopath to find it funny to laugh about slaughtering innocent wild animals

    • Z Dee
      Z Dee 3 months ago

      Mark C Well at least u can reasonably explain ur viewpoint, which I appreciate, although I disagree with some of seeming contradictions.
      I do find it disturbing that u equate someone who laughs at an animal death joke as beyond redemption... (although I agree that pedophiles belong in that group).
      Best of luck.

    • Mark C
      Mark C 3 months ago

      @D k keyboard warrior. Not surprised given you're a coward.

    • Mark C
      Mark C 3 months ago

      @Chillin with Dylan if you already knew everything I said, why the moronic comment in the first place re "old school spelling". Either a troll for trolling sake or a douchebag. Either way you're a moron so go away insect.

    • Mark C
      Mark C 3 months ago

      @Chillin with Dylan I'm no snowflake and given the fact you called me one you clearly have no idea what it means

  • GSD fan
    GSD fan 3 months ago +33

    I once had a deer race me to a spot in the road, I knew if I slowed down I would hit it so I dropped a gear and punched it and saw the deer miss me by a hair in my mirror. A nice buck with an apparent death wish

  • #1 lobster
    #1 lobster 3 months ago +23

    In Texas wild turkeys are like pigeons!

  • Jane Dowdle
    Jane Dowdle 3 months ago +3

    Haha 😂

  • #1 lobster
    #1 lobster 3 months ago +37

    Am I the only person here, who, if I hit a deer with my car, would keep it? I know it seems weird, but have you had deer meat? Deer meat is the best!

    • #1 lobster
      #1 lobster 2 days ago

      @TazarZero i'd also have a sturdier car. like a jeep or something.

    • TazarZero
      TazarZero 2 days ago

      @#1 lobster I would think a good sized one could inflict some decent damage if hit full on. Lose a bumper, a hood, some side panels, a door, a windshield, anything really. Depends on the person really. Some people can deal with a damaged car if it still runs fine, while for others it could be a pretty big deal. That said, someone who is more likely to take home a dead deer probably wouldn't care what their vehicle looked like.

    • #1 lobster
      #1 lobster 2 days ago

      What kind of car am i theoretically driving which would require more repair that a wet rag to wipe of the blood if i hit a deer?

    • TazarZero
      TazarZero 2 days ago +1

      I think it's only fair to keep it if you're the one who hits it. Free meals for the price of your car, why not.

    • Maggie Bastolla
      Maggie Bastolla Month ago +1

      #1 lobster
      Maybe, but I swear it happened!