My Abusive Relationship: The Aftermath

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  • Published on Jun 26, 2019
  • DISCLAIMER:
    This video contains the topic of abuse and explicit language that may be triggering to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.
    DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE: www.thehotline.org/
    * Chat or call 1-800-799-7233
    For more information on domestic violence & #abuse: www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
    My #AbusiveRelationship: The Aftermath #DomesticViolence

Comments • 121

  • 2019 CHAOS music
    2019 CHAOS music 25 days ago

    I can understand that you learned of all this as you said, but this things, of any kind of abuses, it should not even exist. Even the word "Abuse" should not even exist in the dictionary. (and also the word "Wars" .. "Fighting" .. and the list goes on and on). At around 7 minutes, when you say, somes could think you're weak.. (how can I say this.. hee) It's not to be weak, it's only that anyone's who have a real heart at the good place, and get abused, can hardly deal with abuser of any kinds.. why ? because inside ourself, we cannot strike back the way they do to us, because we're not like that. Ok I better stop writing, I know myself lol I will write 2000 words. But I helped so many of my friends who got abused, I know how it is. And don't EVER let anyone do this to you no more :- ) Have a wonderful week, and a wonderful Life

  • GianZ73
    GianZ73 28 days ago

    BRAVA ZOEY! There's so much in this video that I really don't know how to find the words for a comment. Maybe I just need to let it rest and come back later. This resonates a lot with my life but it took me waaaaay longer to get to inner freedom and lightness. Anyway, I'm there now and I'm at the helm of my life, finally. I wish you good winds in your sailing, bella!

  • Ngoni Griffith
    Ngoni Griffith 2 months ago

    I think more than anything it's not that your mom didn't love you, but that she couldn't love you and there is a big difference. With a mental illness like post partum depression sometimes people are incapable of loving because the illness takes over. I watched your videos when I first started watching TheXvid and I was wondering what happened to you. Then I saw your video on minimalism and decided to Google you. I am so sorry to hear about what happened, but glad to hear that you are doing much better. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there.

  • Bella Stella
    Bella Stella 2 months ago

    Amazing! Thank you so much for sharing! Will you be writing a follow up to beauty and the break down now that you have had this revelation?

  • Chelsey O
    Chelsey O 2 months ago

    Omg I broke down and cried when u said anyone who been in one "I get it. I get it". I had to hide my relationship from everyone because I didnt want people to shame me anymore. I isolated myself. No one understands unless they go through it.

    • Zoey Arielle
      Zoey Arielle  2 months ago

      Sending you so much love 🙏🏼❤️

  • Carolyn Logan
    Carolyn Logan 3 months ago

    I am a recovering codependent since 2000 and don't be surprised if you are not through this yet. I could write my own book and I have even thought about it. It is not that easy to get through and to get to the other side as one thinks. You will think you learned your lessons and you can use all the affirmations in the world, it's just not that easy. God bless and I will be looking forward to following your story.

  • Juan Two 3
    Juan Two 3 3 months ago

    I came across your channel by chance being that I look at videos etc. on Italy 🇮🇹, France 🇫🇷, Spain 🇪🇸 etc. U mention the abusive relationship but U are not being very specific at all..🤔... He did not except U for who U are, huh ? 😟 Sometimes U attract what U feel U deserve on the inside.. If U work on U, I’m sure great things will come your way as it sounds like they are during this video... I believe U mentioned that U are in your mid 20’s, U have time ahead of U, but use it wisely.. Some men are afraid of strong minded women because that’s the one that won’t put up with his shit! Many great relationships start off as friends, NOT friends with benefits 😉.. I was always asked by friends guys or girls What kind of girl do I like... I always answered, I can tell U what kinda girl I don’t like! Why, because that’s the shorter list... Example: I dated this smart beautiful girl a few years back for about 6 months to a year & I really thought she was The One 💍.. We went out on a double date with a friend one night to a fancy restaurant & Lounge/Club & noticed some guy that kept catching her eye the first hour that we where at the Lounge/Club. It was so obvious that I had to ask her if she knew the guy, she replied No.. I called Bullshit 🤥 on that answer but kept it to myself.. Remember shit floats..💩.. A few drinks 🍷 later on the way out I caught her blowing a kiss to the guy in question, so I just let go of her hand & Elvis-Me has left the building. She ran out after me & gave me some more of her story so I told her I KNOW ME BETTER THAN U KNOW ME! So if I where U I would forget about me because U are not on the endangered species list! That is the discipline U must have with everyone & everything.. It’s been 10 years & one divorce for her & she still pops up now & then to find things out about me through mutual friends. I wish her only good things because we all deserve to be happy.. So Keep educating yourself & work on U.. Surround yourself buy good people & find your passion in your career, if that’s what is important for U.. Set goals.. Where would U like to be in a year, in 5 years or 10 ? 🥺.. Set up a road map to those goals!!! Now about your mom, that’s a real tuff one.. My mother has been super loving & caring.. My parents always taught me to treat everyone with respect, especially women...

  • Aurora Borealis
    Aurora Borealis 3 months ago

    Been through something very similar. You are not alone ❤️

  • Ali Rahman
    Ali Rahman 4 months ago

    Hello my friend

  • K J
    K J 4 months ago

    If you haven’t already started reading, I’d recommend reading Influence: The psychology of persuasion by Robert Cialdini to be able to further understand your undesirable choices in the past and be able to stop yourself from making those choices again in the future

  • K J
    K J 4 months ago

    Gotta respect a girl that knows what she’s worth and isn’t afraid to go for what she wants. Just by taking this first step towards positivity and deciding to be who you are now, it’ll be a lot easier to stay consistent with that decision

  • Anna Hanson
    Anna Hanson 5 months ago

    You are a truly remarkable woman who has endured horrific abuse from all sides inflicted by your humanized monster. He knew exactly to make you feel like you were insignificant and small with his cold-blooded words but anymore. You no longer belong in his confining definition of what sort of woman you should be. You deserve to be treated with sincere kindness and respect. You do have beautiful eyes which light up your whole face and an equally adorable smile to match. Your unique body is covered with faded scars to prove what you survived. You will be able to survive your lengthy and rewarding process, no matter what he tries to convince you otherwise. Honey, you must do this for your safety and sanity. You must sit down alone and write out every bad thing he has ever done to you. Don't leave anything out. Be extremely graphic and then write how it made you feel. Be one hundred percent honest with yourself. Take as much time and paper as you need. Once you're finished, you'll feel emotionally drained and exhausted but this is when you put away the papers. You must next block this new phone number your narc shark has used to contact you and delete and block him on everything you can possibly find. Email, phone numbers, and all that jazz. I know this will be extremely difficult but you must do this. Delete all photos and quotes that remind you of him. Don't give them a second chance before deleting them. Once you've done all of that, listen to some soothing music and allow yourself some time to cry. ❤ He does not deserve your time or energy. You deserve a one hundred percent better than what he has to offer in comparison. Forgiving a monster is easier said than done and nobody knows this more acutely than you do right now. You would rather crawl under a rock and cry rather than to face him again with those icily calculating eyes and his equally malicious words that make you feel less than a zero with flawless smoothness. You know how this monster will never see the error of his small cruelties and aggressive touches that will leave invisible scars on your heart and mind. You are the one who knows the truth behind that plastic mask he wears with pride to the world, his blind audience, ready to lap up any attention he may give. And now to forgive him for all the horrors you have endured at his hands. You may wonder what I may think of you forgiving this monster disguised as a man. I personally believe you should forgive yourself for what has happened. I do not suggest placing the entirety of the blame and responsibility upon your shoulders. All of those cruelties he deliberately inflicted upon you shows more about his atrocious nature than what it did about your beautiful heart. You will need to find time to fully and completely heal and that will take crying, screaming, hot baths, frustration, anger, and everything else in between. You are here in this amazing support group for a good reason. You are a beautiful survivor who has endured the most horrific of all relationships and yet you are still here. Enduring, surviving, healing, educating, and living!

  • Malcom Lewis
    Malcom Lewis 5 months ago

    Thank you for sharing this, a lot of people cannot do what you have shared with us today. This video will help with our community, God bless u and many blessings

  • the KEI to ZEN
    the KEI to ZEN 5 months ago

    This is awesome!! More people need to be talking about this!!

  • Königstochter
    Königstochter 5 months ago

    Can you forgive your mom too?
    You are precious and don't have to prove it to anybody.
    God loves you so much and he is so proud and happy too about you .

  • Leyda Leon
    Leyda Leon 5 months ago +1

    My sister got out of an narcissist abusive relationship. She has grown so much. Now she is reaching her 30s and feeling she is not seen as a person for marriage or family type (aka to hacce children with). She is living this very frustrating stage and sincerely it has caught me off guard and dont know how to help. Any insights are appreciated. Many things you have describes she passed through... you all befimr such strong women. You are brave and beautiful beings... You shine yourself out....

  • Lucafil33
    Lucafil33 5 months ago

    Pure honesty shining... So rare to find a video like this on TheXvid. Sorry for you.

  • Will Wong
    Will Wong 5 months ago

    How wonderful it is that you share these experiences of yours. Absolutely, you or anyone else does not deserve what you've gone through and, YES, you've gotten over these dark periods and turned over a new leaf now! If you are in Toronto, you can even organize some coffee or tea meetings with some of your fans and we'll share other experiences with you that will definitely strengthen your faith of a bright future that you rightly deserve!

  • Kinga Ogiegło
    Kinga Ogiegło 5 months ago

    Thank you for sharing💝

  • Divine Grace Rafanan
    Divine Grace Rafanan 5 months ago

    It takes so much to tell a story that isn’t pretty without talking crap about the other person involved. I really admire that you’re grateful and wouldn’t change that experience because of the great things that came out of it.
    Your relationship with your mom reminds me of Kalyn Nicholson’s personal story. I admire you both and I hope one day you guys would do a collab.
    Thanks for sharing. I feel less alone hearing about your story and reading the all these wonderful comments of my fellow followers.

  • Julie Gade Olesen
    Julie Gade Olesen 5 months ago

    Thank you for sharing. I wish you all the best.

  • Gabriela Yamhure
    Gabriela Yamhure 5 months ago

    The parallels just baffle me. WILL REPLY SOOON AMOREEE!!!!!😍❤️❤️

  • Gabriela Yamhure
    Gabriela Yamhure 5 months ago

    I am in awe of you. I love you. I am inspired by you❤️

  • Jane Stoller
    Jane Stoller 5 months ago +1

    You are strong. Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration to others who may be facing abuse

  • O P
    O P 5 months ago

    You are the most lovable, caring, and compassionate person that deserves the best out of life!

  • Rene Galll
    Rene Galll 5 months ago +1

    Thank you for sharing your life I am a man that has been a abuser I am not proud of who I have been I am under a new level of thinking and interacting with people and Friends and families I hope and pray that I will be a blessing two people and family and real loved ones for what it is worth thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts I hope the best for you and yours

  • Emily Wu
    Emily Wu 5 months ago +1

    You've always been brave, Zoey. Sending love and positive energy to your way

  • Kim Clark
    Kim Clark 5 months ago

    Thank you Zoey for sharing! It was your mother's loss. You are the most lovable, caring, and compassionate person that deserves the best out of life. Love you Zoe!

  • Being Andrea Fabulously

    Sweet lady, i am so glad to hear of your healing. I hope as you continue your journey you come to understand, yes, you never deserved to be treated in an unloving way by your mum. Also consider, she may have been incapable of loving anyone due to tremendous unlove of her self. You were not what caused her actions, you were only the one closest to it at a very vulnerable time in your development. I wish you continued peace, harmony and beauty... 😘

  • Sofia Nuri
    Sofia Nuri 5 months ago

    You are wonderful. You are loved. Always. Sending you huge hug from Rio de Janeiro. Thank you for sharing this. It was very supportive for me as I've been in the same road

  • Jenna Bonnichsen
    Jenna Bonnichsen 5 months ago

    Hey Zoey! I like to test out how I feel in relation to others when I go to the dance club. I know it might not a be a great place to meet people I really connect with but I like dancing! I've found that when I embody obsession with a guy, I feel like panicky and my awareness is tunnel visioned. I enjoy dancing the most with people that make me feel natural, free, experimental, secure and calm. Overall, I resonate most with feeling light yet calm in life and want to put myself in situations that make me feel like that. So I'm trying to be more aware of this in meeting people in other situations too. :)

  • chibot botchi
    chibot botchi 5 months ago

    what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. it's sad that you had to experience all that but you've managed to get through and came out stronger and wiser. You will succeed in life and a lot of people will be inspired by you (that includes me). Keep charging, Zoey! =)

  • indirajane
    indirajane 5 months ago

    Thank you for being so open and candid. This is a very inspirational video...I'm so happy that you were able to find the root cause of your suffering and rid yourself of it! It's incredibly inspiring!
    Also, I find one thing about all of this very fascinating. I watched your videos from Costa Rica and one thing that struck me about your experience there was when you shared you had received a message to leave Italy and return to Toronto. I was really puzzled by this at the time but as I was watching this video it made perfect sense! Even though you experienced tremendous healing in CR, the final piece of healing needed to happen in Toronto with your coach. It's almost as if the medicine or your higher self directed you to where you needed to go to complete the healing. What do you think? In any case, I've found these videos very inspirational and thanks for sharing!

  • william Lidgett
    william Lidgett 5 months ago

    sorry you had to go through that

  • rc mcZest
    rc mcZest 5 months ago

    💙💙💙

  • Lala Beluli
    Lala Beluli 5 months ago

    Journalling is the best. I'm so glad it helped u. Hanging around with yourself that's right that's what it is

  • News cAse
    News cAse 5 months ago

    I always love your videos, you always inspire me. Keep posting videos.

  • Sherlock Slinger
    Sherlock Slinger 5 months ago +1

    Hi zoey, I've been following you maybe for 6 months, and this is my fisrt comment in your channel. ... I'm kind of surprised at 21:41 to hear "fuck this"... what a beautiful word, don't get me wrong. it's really funny. I can't stop laughing :D

  • S C
    S C 5 months ago +1

    I honestly think it's so brave of you to open up about what happened to you. Victims of abuse and harassment should never be made to feel ashamed about speaking out about their trauma when they feel ready to do so, yet we live in a world where those who have suffered are met with disbelief and scorn. Zoey, since you are speaking about such important topics, I think it would be good to make this story available to a wider audience. Would you be willing to allow for captions to be uploaded to your videos? I am interested in learning captioning/subtitling as a career skill and I need somewhere to practice, and would be pleased to create subtitles for your videos in English as well as Italian. Thank you for sharing with us and take care!

  • Maximus Decimus Meridius

    I'm sorry to hear Zoey. You deserve better. I went through an extremely difficult situation too. I have an antidote for that : The island of Ischia in Italy ! I am going in August/September. 🌞🌞🌞

  • Annameika Lee
    Annameika Lee 5 months ago

    So brave to put your story out there Zoey! We are so proud of you, who you are, that you stay true to yourself, live with integrity and face all of life's challenges bravely and with a forgiving heart ❤️ Blessed Be 💜

  • charlotteesma
    charlotteesma 5 months ago

    You are so brave Zoey ❤️The way that you dealt with and processed what happened to you is beyond admirable. You exude such a beautiful loving energy despite having felt those feelings of being unlovable or unworthy yourself, which I think shows how resilient you are. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, you're one of the strongest women I know. Sending you a big virtual hug 🥰💖

  • Iselin Mork
    Iselin Mork 5 months ago

    Sending so much 💗 💗 💗 You are so strong, beautiful and inspiring ✨ ti abbraccio 🤗

  • Danica Christin
    Danica Christin 5 months ago

    You have an incredible story. I'm so glad you came out on top of all of this. You're a strong person and I'm so happy you were able to let go of a difficult past

  • Lana Pribic
    Lana Pribic 5 months ago

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Domonic Ballard
    Domonic Ballard 5 months ago

    The most important thing, is to learn from experiences good and bad. Realize your worth and that u are worth being valued. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Thank you for your honesty!👍

  • MsBaby1959
    MsBaby1959 5 months ago

    ❤️ If I were your mom I'd be proud to have a daughter like you....as I am proud of my two sons. I'm sure of one thing, one day you will be a very wonderful mother! 😘. Happy you are finally in a good place and this video will be of help to so many others watching it. Thank you for sharing Zoey xoxo

  • Herr Gus
    Herr Gus 5 months ago

    Love ya Zoey! You made me tear up cause I also have gone through what you have and still dealing with it.

  • Natalie Loves Beauty
    Natalie Loves Beauty 5 months ago

    So proud of you for opening up, I admire your courage in sharing your story. You truly are an inspiration Zoey ❤️and I know this video will help so many. I loved your book Beauty in the Breakdown, highly recommend to those who have yet to read it!

  • DiaPa7
    DiaPa7 5 months ago

    Wow Zoey, wow

  • Brenda Weinberg
    Brenda Weinberg 5 months ago +2

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful message. 🥰✨💕💙💜

  • JSHameda
    JSHameda 5 months ago

    You´re an inspiring person. So strong and brave. No much people are able to share personal things, especially things like that.
    Thanks for all your videos and many things that you teach us. You are so cute but I am sure that your mind is more attractive than your body. That makes you more interesting.
    Thank you and go further.

  • Caio Ivo
    Caio Ivo 5 months ago

    You are so beautiful, young and an amazing woman, if I could I would to provide the best relationship to you =) But seriously, I'm so proud of you and your courage to open your heart! God bless you!

  • Andrea Orbegozo
    Andrea Orbegozo 5 months ago

    I’m so happy that this wall has been breached and you’ve finally put the last puzzle piece in as to why something of this nature happened. I know the feeling and have been there myself ❤️. And I love that I heard you say fuck for the first time to this situation 😂😂.
    There may be times when you have a momentary unsteadiness or triggering phase because going through such events is traumatic, and that is ok! Just nurture yourself and talk yourself through it, you’ve already reached such an important point of realization. ❤️ much love to you Zoey. The universe sometimes takes us into troubled waters, not to drown us but to cleanse us ❤️

  • Jay Ong
    Jay Ong 5 months ago

    The exact same thing happen to me by my covert narcissist sister! As soon as i found out she was mentally broken, i cut her out and healed from my anxiety. Sounds like your abusive partner was a narcissist to me :( so glad you found strength from the suffering :)

  • Detox Your Life
    Detox Your Life 5 months ago

    Thanks for sharing 😘

  • Nicole Jacobs
    Nicole Jacobs 5 months ago

    So proud of you. You’ve come so far. You are and always will be beautiful inside and out. Love you to the moon.

  • baguar01
    baguar01 5 months ago

    Honestly Zoey, I don’t know if I’ve EVER watched such an amazing video!!!
    This video should be required watching for not only all young women, but men as well. It is stunning, wise, brave, articulate, honest, spiritual and breathtakingly beautiful.
    Zoey, there is SO much of value here to consider, but I just want to 100% congratulate you for the power and beauty of your journey and agree 100% that you are done with any kind of abuse, or exploitation. You’re too aware now for that, and so there is no need for repetition of lessons learned.
    I think SO much of you, and love you dearly.
    Zoey, ALL open, sensitive, loving, caring people who have a deeply spiritual life goal, go through some kind of crisis like you went through. It’s to strengthen you, empower you, deepen you, open you, hone your ability to live by trust, and with gratitude in your gorgeous heart :)

  • Makeupdelicious1984
    Makeupdelicious1984 5 months ago +8

    As a clinical psychologist following your channel Zo, I've always had that sentence in my mind but now that you said it at 19:53 that's the highest moment of a successful therapeutic path. And I am super proud of you, you are an amazing woman. Only one thing I want to say is it true that in regard to that man this represents the last piece but not for your mum's situation. In the story with your mum, there is another essential piece, yes she was supposed to love you, yes she didn't instead, BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! What she did is not because of who you are or how you looked like, that was her problem, something related to her, you did nothing wrong to deserve it, it happened for other reasons not connected at all with you. And yes, this pain and guilt one day brought you to diminish yourself and feel worthless and unlovable and to attract a man who abused you but don't let the guilt for your mum manipulate you now. She wasn't able to be a good loving caring mum, you were not a bad child. [Love you]

  • Tatjana Ivanovic
    Tatjana Ivanovic 5 months ago +2

    I’m very glad you overcame this struggle 😍also I wanted to recommend the book to you “ Why you get sick, How you get well, the healing power of feelings “ by Dr. Arthur Janov. It explains a lot about how we inherit behaviour from our parents, and how they did from theirs and so on, so in defence to your mother, she probably was unloved herself, and didn’t know this and inadvertently did the same thing. It’s very interesting theory.
    All the best to you, love your channel 😍🇨🇦