Jimmy On McDonalds | Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes
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- Published on Oct 15, 2019
- Is anyone taking their girlfriend on a date to McDonalds?
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McDonald's coffee is actually pretty good
Not even funny
Why is Jimmy standing infront of a picture of Muhammad Ali??
Because their both great in their own fields
What does mcdonalds and michael jackson have in common? They both put 40 year old meat inside 12 year old buns. Lol... that would have been a great jimmy carr joke there
Did Jimmy pay his taxes on this show?
A McDonald’s toilet once made me doze off. It was in Japan. The lighting was soft, the walls were deep red, the seat was heated and a babbling brook was oozing from the speakers. Best lunch ever!
Literally for the past few years all I’ve gone into McD’s for was the toilet. Actually one time I had ice cream. 👌🏼
Explain the underground joke please
Oh , hands fritzel
TRANSGENDER ⚧!
Jimmy Carr is not funny. He is no comedian...... he is a bore-edian
who was living underground for 25 years?
The Fritzl burger.
@Pied Piper anytime :]
@Just Another Human Being Thank you!
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case
he looks like an android...
Or a creepy ventriloquist
McDonalds is the main reason we have so many 300 lb. mastodons waddling around here in the states, that and a lack of mental and physical exercise.
Notice he couldn't ask him if she'd booked a restaurant for valentines day.
@fenhen Good luck believing that.
Not saying it never happens but there's a massive reason that out is men judged and mocked for taking their partner out and not the other way round.
Gambit771 yes...?
If you’re a man and you’re unhappy that your girlfriend doesn’t take you out, then get a new girlfriend. Don’t suggest that this somehow means that Jimmy Carr couldn’t ask if it were possible.
@fenhen He couldn't because the joke relies on someone taking their partner to an expensive restaurant.
What do you mean he “couldn’t”? He could have, he just didn’t.
this guy is not funny
Var ‘tis darse lol
Great work on the makeup.. looks great!!
wha... ohhhh McDonalds... I was hearing madonna's and wondered what experience one would have there... your tastebud's probably like a virgin, touched for the very first time.
A Brit-restaurant would even be so expensive, you'll pull your hair out
Enjoyed your video and gave it a Thumbs Up
In Hong Kong, McDonalds saved my ass on many occasion. Thanks for the can Ray!
Oh keep going, there's day's left of Mc Jokes you can give out, the only food in the world that will outlook and outlast the consumer in appearance
Mc Donald's is a real estate business
2 seconds in and I'm already laughing
And whenever I went in the lavvy at a MacDonald they were always clean.
@Regimeshifts wankers
@Regimeshifts I'm fairly sure only this one person...
who says lavvy?
The staff were always having to clean up the vomit on the walls
Pls explain joke at 1:00
The Lads. Bad things? U r the master of understatement.
I heard it's 'bout some guy called Joseph Fritzl. The guy locked his daughter into a basement for around 25 years. He also did some bad things with his daughter.
This guy looks like he’s Gnna pull a rabbit out of his ass
McDonald's is shite, burger king is way better
This is new haha
Last time I went to a McDonald's, there was a HUGE woman and 2 piggies that might've been her kids.
They got several filled trays and then talked about how good they are doing on their diet…
@Scott Walker Might have blown their Hangcock thongs out huh, life is sure tough on the poor downtrodden housewife, bet she grabbed a traveller roast chook and 3 litres of Coke on the way home
Fishpest Aussie yeah. They backed off to only half the delivery load instead of 2/3 of it
What, had they cut back on their 20000 kilojoules consumption on their first trays
LitoGeorge yeah. They deliver now…
@Scott Walker well, then its time to leave the choices to the people. You can take a pig to McDonalds but you can't.......... oh wait.
I haven't eaten food-like substances from McDonald's since 1977, which helps explain my perfect health.
I’d rather eat my shoe than McDonald’s!💩
@avinotion I see what you did there👏
Obviously. Those clown shoes are enormous!
NEVER SIT FRONT ROW
Or _always_ sit front row!
It's McDonald's, not McDonalds. You should at least get the grammar correct.
@flyhound97 ** McDonald's (@McDonalds) · Twitter straight off google but who cares we all know what Maccas is and that was the whole point, cheers
@Fishpest Aussie *McDonald's
@flyhound97 Never mind sweety, go back to sleep... clearly your been up all night counting sheep down at Old McDonalds farm
@Fishpest Aussie What conversation?
@flyhound97 Oh dear 97 hound flys.. FOLLOW THE CONVERSATION B A C K .....
nothing orginal
Going into McDonalds just to use the the toilet is called “Taking a McShit” and if they tell you the toilets are for customers only, and you say that you’ll be back to order when you’re done... that’s a McShit with Lies.
'Taking' it where?
I 'Have' a McShit....
Patrick Ball you must be from Grimsby
I've just about McFucking had it.
McDonald s have the worst toilet, s
RUDE IS KING!
Jim Gaffigan did a gig on this...
...you and he are sooo related.
ArmyOfOne you think jimmy Carr uploads these videos? Nah
The toilets are usually clean.
There always small with little room .
That must be a regional thing. Because here the McToilets usually look like crime scenes.
What was the underground bit about?
The Fritzel burger.
Pretty sick. The freak's name should never have been mentioned again. But hey, that's meant to be comedy theses days ^^
He joked about the Josef Fritzl case a little earlier in this show.
This hit the news just before the show was recorded; en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case
Josef Fritzel
What's the name of this stand up? Is it on Netflix?
It's Making People Laugh. Was a DVD but is now on thexvid.com/user/jimmycarrfansfeatured
McDonald's is Donald Trump's favorite food, another Very Good Reason to never eat it. ever.
Same for KFC. Quit That Shit. it's killing you outright.
Sorry to break it to you, but almost every fast food restaurant is bad for you. There isnt many healthy fast food options.
It's Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't call it KFC.
Jimmy Carr, the EViL Man's Comedian. no need for the hard sell, all that other stuff, Bonus!
MacDonalds is basically Britain's public toilets chain.
@crucci Takes one to know one
@Tapio 86 Wow you're smart
McDonald's = American
Of course, I take my girlfriend to McDonald's. After a busy day of holding up cardboard signs on street corners, I think we both deserve a break today.
Extinction rebellion protestor.
@Fishpest Aussie KitKats are reserved for special occasions...like Breakfast
Have a KITKAT instead, its healthier and the sugar levels will enlighten you
Chick in the pink is hot!
lol I always poop at mcdonalds coz I have IBS. mcdonalds is my comfort room.
brah, take Jarrow enteric coated probiotics and that will never happen again. I have crohn's and now I'm good.
that's the anxiety in you rising as you realize your going to have to place an order..... Oh shet..
A McD toilet as comfort room. That is enough to rob me of sleep for the fireseeable future.
Ah... Jimmy you cheeky bastard... surprised you didn’t blame the US for McDonald’s. It has been here for 79 years and been in the UK for 45 years.
Weight McDonald's is a restaurant
@Bryan McMillin
Really I wouldn't go that far
I see what you did there. That borders on clever.
I love the irony of this audience because you know outside these people are the very PR PC plebs having a go at everyone else for laughing or having an opinion!
Wtf
Here everyone knows it's a joke. Outside it can be rather difficult to differentiate between someone who like here enjoys a bit o' fun and a racist that's decided to be a bit subtle.
I mean if you tell me the same joke I've heard from my racist great grandpa, how should I know which one you are?
0:58 I don't get that joke, could someone explain it please?
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case
#SchnitzelfortheFritzl
It was a reference to an earlier topic he brought up, about Fritzl who was imprisoned and raped by her father underground for 25 years.
Tsar Nicolas II no problem mate
godxad Thanks I didn’t get this one neither
His german is good XD
Jan Baltes XD died when your grandad did
Had to go for a poo in McDonald's once there was no toilet paper had to use H Samuel catalog i found on the toilet floor
Who cares who commented 1st, 2nd, or 3rd ? Bunch of bellends. Jimmy Carr is brilliant !
4th!!
Correct funny is best funny, thank you Jimmy ! Im down with the influensa fever and this helped me laugh up some slime yeah, thanks lad !
@Srithor yes
@WIZARD RAPIER In bed?
@Srithor I lied
@WIZARD RAPIER You are mean and don't think? Why would you admit to that in public? Also, what about God's nose? That one is none of your business, just like the Emperor's beard!
@Srithor God no, I mean, I don't think so?
What about the drive-through handjob?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Worm burgers - research it!
@Swordhand # It's cheap food, edible and the Vegans will be happy if it's not out of beef. Practically, a win-win situation!
@Swordhand # Who cares? Does it taste good for the price you are paying? Yes. Is it unhealthy? Not anymore than just regular beef is. So the real point stands to be, who cares and why should they?
MD’s fed worms beef carcasses, the worms practically became beef and were used as burger filers... oh yer people, real talk 💯
okay, got it now, thanks.
@Rod Google "Elisabeth Fritzl".
I've a friend called shagga, she doesn't like it. haha
I got an ad for McDonald's before watching this on my phone. I don't think they understand irony.
@Nunyadam Bidniss bidness=blindness
And clearly, neither do you. Because that's not irony.
Holy shit I wish i would be living in UK just because of you.
Keep up the great jokes bro
TheXvid is constantly recommending me these Jimmy Carr clips even though I almost never click on them. How the hell do you do that, Jimmy? Did you suck Susan Wojcicki's dick or something?