How I Met My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend

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  • Published on Sep 7, 2018
  • Thank you for watching and hearing my story. Check my pinned comment in the comment section below for more information about me/my experience. Click "Show More" for some helpful links.
    All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Names have been changed and do not represent actual people.
    This video is not monetized. If you wish to support me, here is my patreon: www.patreon.com/illymation
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    ▶GET EDUCATED!
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    www.loveisrespect.org/ - “RELATIONSHIPS 101” - LGBTQ+ inclusive
    www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/ - “IS THIS ABUSE?” - helpful guide
    “6 Types of Child Abuse” by Psych2Go: thexvid.com/video/vRkKPMXXN8M/video.html
    “Abuse Story” by storybooth: thexvid.com/video/SiKQDu2cNvU/video.html
    “Bad Boyfriend” by storybooth: thexvid.com/video/_vFqzpENZO0/video.html
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Comments • 67 414

  • illymation
    illymation  Year ago +29736

    ⬇️ *IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION I PROBABLY ANSWERED IT HERE* ⬇️
    Hey guys! Thank you for making it through that video and hearing my story on this. Considering this content and the kind of awful people it can attract, I wanna start something good in my comments section with your help! *If you see a comment that’s super kind, helpful, anything awesome, comment on that comment with a heart ❤️ emoji.* That way, youtube will push it to the top. If enough people give love to one another, maybe we can drown out the hate. 😄
    I expect there will be a lot of valid questions. A lot of those I can assure you I’ll get to in the next videos. But here are some answers for now.
    *Why did you make this video? It’s [insert your opinion here]*
    If I have a platform, if I have a voice, if people are watching and listening to me, I want to use this channel to highlight the things I wish I knew to avoid when I was your age. I want to warn others against awful people like the guy in this video. Know the red flags. Listen to your friends and family. It really can happen to anyone.
    *“Why wait? Quit cliffhanging! Tell us everything!”*
    This is already a 10 minute video that took over a month to do! I’m also in college full time. I reaaaallly wanted to do a tell-all, believe me. There’s just so much to tell, and I am ITCHING to get this done.
    *“Why didn’t you go to the police?”*
    1. You can’t call the cops on someone being mean to you on the internet.
    2. *I did!* (I’ll get into that in the next video) but understand, I, the detective, my lawyer, we all need to be able to prove who sent the messages. The messages themselves aren’t enough. If brought to court, he could argue “oh my sister sent that not me” and... we can’t prove otherwise. And if you don’t believe this, idk what to tell you. I went to the police and this is what they told me.
    3. *We tried* proving otherwise by getting his confession, and he denied it all of course. He never thought he did anything wrong in the first place.
    4. Even though he coerced me into sending pictures, I could still go to jail for “soliciting” CP. Again, we can’t prove HE coerced me. But we can prove that’s me who sent them. “WAIT THATS NOT FAIR-!” Yup. Even though I was coerced, I was pressured, I was threatened... I did something that can be proven, and he did something that can’t be proven. So going to court could possibly get ME jailed. This is what people mean when they say “the system protects criminals.” 🙃
    *”Why didn’t you include the messages where [this this that that whatever]”*
    I just don’t have the messages. Here’s the approximate breakdown of our conversation history:
    - 80% Skype
    - Of that 80%, half was talking out loud (therefore no paper trail)
    - Blocking people on Skype in 2015 deletes your conversation history. I know there’s a way to mine it out of your computer somehow, but I didn’t know this back then, and I no longer own that computer.
    - 10% texting (This happened in 2015. It is 2018. I’ve gone through 2 new phones, one of which was stolen fml)
    - 10% other - google hangouts, Facebook, tumblr, etc.
    *”This happens to men/boys too.”*
    Yeah, and water is wet. Me talking about my experiences doesn’t negate others. *The only story I can tell is my own.* Why would I talk about someone else, or I guess pretend to be a boy and tell this story, if that’s what you want? I don’t know that experience or how it feels. I only know mine, and that’s why I shared it. The links I’ve provided are inclusive of all people and children, and some show breakdowns by gender. *If you’re concerned about other people and their stories, PLEASE go find them and support them.* Don’t sit in my comments section telling me to do that. They obviously need YOUR help if you want to give that. *Claiming I’m “ignoring” others by just telling my story is ignorant and a waste of the kind heart you claim to have.*
    *“Did he do anything worse?”*
    Unfortunately yes. Statutory r***. And I went to the police about it. We tried getting security camera footage but the place where it happened didn’t have cameras installed until a year after the incident took place. All we could try to pin him on was coercion to entice, but again, we couldn’t get him to confess. So, he got away with it.
    *”you’re lying / you’re doing this for attention / this is fake / that’s photoshopped / if this really happened you’d / etc”*
    Did you know 2% of American adults think the Earth is flat? With a population of 326,766,748, that’s 6.5 million dumbasses walking amongst us. With numbers like that, who am I to expect anyone watching this video to believe anything concrete?
    After getting out of this relationship, I was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, I’ve struggled with self harm since being with him and I am prone to relapsing, and I have had symptoms of PTSD (recurring vivid nightmares, flashbacks, irrational fears). Making this video put me in an awful place mentally for a month or so, which I anticipated and dealt with along the way. I do not have the emotional energy or even a care in the world to “debate” you in the comment section. But go off, more comments actually benefits my channel. (Thanks for your support! 😊😊😊😊)
    Thank you guys so much and let me know if you’d like to see part two or something a little more light hearted.

    • Angel Amy
      Angel Amy 5 days ago

      My name is Lilly. C:

    • Lisa Griffith
      Lisa Griffith 19 days ago

      Get a ugly picture of the internet and sent it to him/her he’ll think your ugly and leave you alone

    • Mossimo Reynolds
      Mossimo Reynolds Month ago

      I have a question. Have you seen other TheXvid animators with other tragic problems?

    • Randy Richmond III
      Randy Richmond III Month ago

      @HolsappleArt Studios it takes a real man to do what you did

    • Talia R Lahn
      Talia R Lahn Month ago

      hey illy, I hate to bother you, and I completely believe you, but could you explain how Haris was 21 when you were 15 when you said at the beginning of the video you said you were 13 when he was 17? Sorry just as a perfectionist that confused me. I promise I believe you, and I'm sure there's an explanation for it because as a person who also struggled with abuse I have some memory loss from that time. but if you or someone else could explain I would greatly appreciate it

  • MoonDiamond_
    MoonDiamond_ 44 minutes ago +1

    Videos like these should be showed to kids in middle school so they can have a bit of info on this subject so they could have a chance of identifying this kind of stuff but we can only hope for people going through this. 😔

  • Scarlett Sladek
    Scarlett Sladek 3 hours ago

    “Age is just a number”
    “So is 911”

  • WoodHands
    WoodHands 4 hours ago

    0:51
    yeah i'd smash kovu too, scar and simba as well

  • Julio Angel F R
    Julio Angel F R 5 hours ago

    Holy shit

  • Julio Angel F R
    Julio Angel F R 5 hours ago

    peokhub

  • silent smoggy
    silent smoggy 6 hours ago

    Thank you for your bravery

  • eliazer jimenez
    eliazer jimenez 7 hours ago

    6:35

  • Karen Gonzalez
    Karen Gonzalez 7 hours ago

    I'm 10 years old

  • Josephine Irwin
    Josephine Irwin 12 hours ago +1

    "Where like romeo and juliet okay?"
    Me: ha I wish you died from poison 😡 that son of a 🤬

  • Yugio addict
    Yugio addict Day ago

    "here comes a thought

  • Ana Rubero
    Ana Rubero Day ago

    I honestly love all your videos and they make me so inspired and more careful by the time that I saw your first video which is this one I immediately subscribed and I am super more careful like it’s never been the same

  • Guðjón Árnason

    Oh my god are you also a swimmer.

  • Ксеня Щеголева

    I’m 12 years old and I talked with a pedophile and he was normal (he’s 24) I asked why he loves children and he replied “I watched 18+ video with girls 12-16 years old and I really liked it” but he really was normal to his strange questions I answered "I am a little lady"
    I'm from Russia, if there are any mistakes, sorry.

  • Julia Smith
    Julia Smith 2 days ago

    You are helping so many people with your videos. You are amazing. I love your art too!

  • Ice13BL
    Ice13BL 2 days ago

    Hahaha you wouldn’t get depressed if someone doesn’t like you back

  • Grellow :P
    Grellow :P 2 days ago +1

    She sounds like she crying, I cri too then

  • Mister MasterTY
    Mister MasterTY 2 days ago

    OwO. U told the strangers uR. NaME Oh. mY GuD

  • Kasey Butcher
    Kasey Butcher 2 days ago

    People like Harris die in prison. And justly so.

  • GalaxyDestroyer321
    GalaxyDestroyer321 3 days ago

    This kind of shit is why i trust no one

  • Adah Christian
    Adah Christian 3 days ago +1

    This has happened to my best friend. My best friend met this girl in school and this girl is just like Harris (besides the photo part)!! My best friend doesn’t see it but I see it and other people see it too! He won’t listen to me, his friends, and even his own parents no matter what we do or say. Sadly, I stopped helping him and when the day comes where she does hurt him, I sadly won’t be there for him. He does everything to the girl and not to his two best friends. I’m tired of this topic! It’s disgusting and rude!! People reading this, know the warning signs and don’t end up with the wrong people.

  • Stars
    Stars 3 days ago +2

    “Age is just a number”
    So is 911

  • Ivan R_Plays928
    Ivan R_Plays928 3 days ago

    My uncle did stuff like that, but in person

  • Minerva Salazar
    Minerva Salazar 3 days ago

    Awww I feel so bad for you :c
    No one should ever do this.
    This would probably happen to me :/ I'm very vulnerable

  • Shiro Blueberry
    Shiro Blueberry 3 days ago

    Omg, that was just a lot

  • Oliver White
    Oliver White 3 days ago +2

    I just burst into tears. I am so sorry this happened to you. From one sexual survivor to another. I cant describe in words how brave you are. Im still learning to survive but your learning to live. I really admire you.

  • Bluetastic Master
    Bluetastic Master 3 days ago +1

    I’m 17 and I have a gf...this is so sad I’m so sorry for what u had to go through 🤦🏻‍♂️

  • Lula Nasywa Avrili
    Lula Nasywa Avrili 3 days ago

    Im 10

  • Cormac McColgan
    Cormac McColgan 3 days ago

    I don't know if it's pedophilia or I'm just jealous but my good friend who's also my crush is in an online relationship to this 18 year old even though she's 14, I'm just worried for her because he sexually says shit to her and wants her to buy him things, what should I honestly do? I'm scared and kinda jealous for her

  • BabyBlue Simmons
    BabyBlue Simmons 4 days ago +1

    I just wanted to tell you this because I really appreciate you :> I was friends with this guy I met about three years ago and we were like the bestest friends til about one year after we met.. He started threatening me (He was a booter and dealt with the deep web) He threatened you turn off my internet and take my parents up south and kill them.. This went on for almost a year then the threats got worse he started saying if I didn’t send nudes he’d send somebody out to my home to force me to and if I still refuse he’d kill me.. So I did it but one day I said to him it was dumb and I didn’t like it your 26 and I’m 12 about three weeks later a man shows up at my house and forces me to allow him to take photos he beat me in places nobody saw and said if it happened again he’d finish me.. I was emotionally scared and this went on for about 8 more months then I talked to my counselor and we called the cops the man was caught.. You inspired me to get out of it thank you for that.....

  • microwave studios
    microwave studios 4 days ago

    I am 10 not 13 l:

  • Valeria Sanchez
    Valeria Sanchez 4 days ago

    Errr... I'm 9...

  • Yeetus da fetus
    Yeetus da fetus 4 days ago

    U get him in jail yet

  • Marshmallow Bagel
    Marshmallow Bagel 4 days ago +10

    When she said “fyuck yo privacy” she sounded like Timon...

  • Noodle Boy
    Noodle Boy 5 days ago +1

    Tfgtvybgh got to me noodle and I wanna was a time for y’all pick up my kids at lunch today and then I’ll be home in a little while I’m just leaving my moms now I’ll text you later I’m gonna was a little too late to pick ya you guys pick y’all pick up my stuff for me and my dad pick me ya up at the school and I’ll text ya you guys ya ya know ya ya guys know ya ya got it hurt ya know ya ya got it hurt okay better now I know ya ya got it hurt okay better then you got your face and you don’t have a good day at home alone and I know you know what you wanna know ya know what look better then you know what you wanna know I gotta do I gotta was a time of time for ya to get me up first and I know you wanna ya know ya ya guys know ya ya got it hurt okay haha was a time for ya to get up and get your a girl out of it haha was a good game for y’all me and I know you guys are going home and then I got to go to pick ya ya guys up at my house I don’t want you guys to go to get your lunch pick y’all pick ya ya guys ya ya know ya ya got it hurt okay haha is your day you get here you guys

  • Lauren Folsom
    Lauren Folsom 5 days ago

    KOUV I LOVE KOVU HE MY FAV. LION KING LIOn huh sorey scar -_-

  • Nezuko chan
    Nezuko chan 5 days ago +2

    There are so many people like Harris. Even I have met few.I was 16 when few guys stole my phone no. and I was living in a hostel that time. It was terrible but my hostel uncle helped me. Again when I was 21 it happened on fb. He liked my drawing and we chatted . Then the guy asked me for picks. I just did not go with that shit for long instead I just called them names and blocked them.

  • tsukichan4
    tsukichan4 5 days ago

    Dear young girls! Heed Illy's lecture! Don't let some crap dump of a guy do this to you!!! They are NOT worth it!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

  • A.P.P. Stuff
    A.P.P. Stuff 6 days ago +1

    To those 14% that put “yes” on the survey for this happening to them



    God bless you. I hope you are better now

  • Cher Cendajas
    Cher Cendajas 6 days ago

    --__-- This Guy is a weirdo....Serious

  • Cher Cendajas
    Cher Cendajas 6 days ago

    You are adorable :3 I'm serious

  • Cristian Sanchez
    Cristian Sanchez 6 days ago

    1 like 15 timberland boot slaps to the guy

    (Timberland boots are giant steel toe boots)

  • One _ Pan _ Enby
    One _ Pan _ Enby 6 days ago +1

    I’ve been in a relationship like this before, thank you. Really.

  • Belen Gutierrez
    Belen Gutierrez 7 days ago +1

    Ugh gurl i just left and going threw it

  • Norbert Gulyas
    Norbert Gulyas 7 days ago

    Are you ok illy?

  • Tylor Robinette
    Tylor Robinette 7 days ago

    some stoff in the story there?

  • Thisgal
    Thisgal 7 days ago +1

    So I've seen this video a long time ago but now I am crying for help that maybe someone would see this and tell me what to do so now this person I met on discord I thought he was a good friend until he told me to send a pic of me I covered my eyes because privacy and stuff (keep in mind I am 14 and hes 18) he told he'd wait for me to come to Malaysia and date him and I don't want that I lied and told him I like him cuz I don't want to hurt him but this was a mistake he said his life is depending on me and I am afraid if I leave him he'll end it I promised him not to leave him but I seriously don't know what to do I deleted my pic from discord but before that he asked for my snap I gave it to him but I won't send him any more pics and he's literally obsessive he screenshoted everything my profile, our chat , etc I don't know what to do please help.

    • KingCreeper1026
      KingCreeper1026 7 days ago

      Thisgal Happy to help! I wish you the best!

    • Thisgal
      Thisgal 7 days ago +1

      @KingCreeper1026 oh God thank you!!! I've done blocking him and I've felt the weight off my shoulders are is not there anymore thank you stranger so much I am really grateful God bless u!

    • KingCreeper1026
      KingCreeper1026 7 days ago +1

      His mental health is his responsibility and his responsibility alone. You don’t have any obligations towards him. I’d recommend you block him on everything.
      I’m so sorry this is happening to you. You can get out of this, be strong.

  • Magenta Dragon
    Magenta Dragon 7 days ago +1

    I saw Pelo's video and at first i thought he was making fun of you, but then I realized he was pointing more jokes towards the kinds of stuff people were talking about you for making the video. (with the fact that the stuff the off screen voice was saying being really rude and accusatory and your caricature just staring angrily into the distance with this total expression of just annoyance and dismay)

  • Honey .,.
    Honey .,. 7 days ago +1

    Put do not disturb on settings •q• (and tell him off u go gurl this is my 1st time watching this and I know how hard it is by me having a group I help and make meetings and to have the pressure of that is already a lot for me but u for 5 years is even harder and sadder so I only have to say u are strong and for whatever put u into doing that for him is horrible and should never be done unless u are forced by someone who controls you like your parents or a guardian maybe listen or don’t and stand up for our rights and now that I see what u have been threw I really do u feel bad for for having to go threw that and be controlled I feel Alonso’s as u do but I know what u have been threw is worse and that I respect if there is more u are not sharing with us and now how u must have to embarrassed or keep it family friendly for the kids watching this and might be now falling your steps I say women’s rights should be saved and that there should be no man to overpower woman I hope no one has to go threw what u did and I’m happy u are now here and that all of it is with the police....

  • Tyrone Smith
    Tyrone Smith 8 days ago

    Um just gonna say that u could have said no multiple times. I'm not saying any of the things he did were right and he's also a scumbag but u still could have said no. Also this is not a hate comment and I fully support u

  • Galaxy wolf queen
    Galaxy wolf queen 8 days ago

    That hapen to me put wen he told me tonot say do my parents i know he has a predator so block him

  • Jenith Jinxy
    Jenith Jinxy 8 days ago +3

    "Age is just a number"
    You know what else is a number?
    *911*

  • Michelle De Guzman
    Michelle De Guzman 9 days ago

    You mean Abrasive

  • Marvel And gaming only

    IM HEERE FOR THE CHAO-

  • Spooderman
    Spooderman 9 days ago

    Wow
    That’s relatable

  • BooMy Studios
    BooMy Studios 9 days ago

    You are showen in the video called: Every StoryTime ANimation with that there

  • Reaper Talon
    Reaper Talon 9 days ago +1

    My mom knows how you feel. And if i see a man how like that ill break them.kids say safe

  • Iam_ Kitchudon
    Iam_ Kitchudon 9 days ago

    I’m 12 ^=^

  • Alec Solorzano
    Alec Solorzano 10 days ago

    Ok I understand this video has a serious topic but that part with that's so raven made me start dieng of laughter

  • Dominick Khoshaba
    Dominick Khoshaba 10 days ago

    You should have shown he’s last name we would of been in jail for murder