QI | Alan's Big Bamboo Rant!

  • Published on Sep 18, 2019
  • Follow QI on Twitter ▶ qikipedia
    Follow QI on Facebook ▶ officialQI
    Follow QI on Instagram ▶ theqielves
    Subscribe on TheXvid ▶ thexvid.com/user/theqielves
    For more visit ▶ qi.com
    This clip is from QI Series O, Episode 16, 'Overseas' with Sandi Toksvig, Alan Davies, Bill Bailey, Desiree Burch and Colin Lane.
  • EntertainmentEntertainment

Comments • 98

  • James Chris
    James Chris 2 days ago

    Panda's are effing bears! The reason their sex drive was so low was because they were being force fed grass ffs. They eat meat.

  • SeanTheOriginal
    SeanTheOriginal 3 months ago +10

    If they aren't endangered anymore then how about we start making panda steaks?

    • Raquel Dobson
      Raquel Dobson 3 months ago

      Kangaroo Steaks, Burgers, etc - are something everyone needs to look into - they have overpopulated Australia & it’s a lean healthy meat... Try that one! :-)

    • Howard Smith
      Howard Smith 3 months ago +1

      @DarkParagon I prefer passenger pigeon myself.

    • DarkParagon
      DarkParagon 3 months ago

      I know right!? There was nothing wrong with Dodo burgers, they were brilliant! Better than chicken!

  • Annette Poke
    Annette Poke 4 months ago +3

    I love love love Qi, however, am in Australia and cannot for love nor money, find DVDs or blue rays anywhere. Is there anywhere that I can purchase episodes? I would appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance world 🌍 🙏🏻🙏🏻😍😍💖💖🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • fenhen
      fenhen 3 months ago

      I think it’s on Britbox, if you can get that in Australia?

  • Natheniel Becken
    Natheniel Becken 4 months ago


  • Scott Whitehead
    Scott Whitehead 4 months ago +4

    I learned something else here - see the panda with jazz hands? 5 fingers and a thumb!
    So I googled and sure enough, this is normal!
    five fingers
    A panda's paw has six digits-five fingers and an opposable pseudo-thumb (actually an enlarged wrist bone) it uses merely to hold bamboo while eating.20 Jan 2010
    Ten Interesting Facts about Giant Pandas | Blog Posts | WWF

  • Daniel Beaney
    Daniel Beaney 4 months ago +2

    I swear Alans just a grown up version of Ben from Outnumbered. ( Its a British sit com on Netflix for those who don't know)

  • AceFailure
    AceFailure 4 months ago +4

    I know about this! It's been my dream job for about 3 years now!!

  • Frère Tempête
    Frère Tempête 4 months ago +4

    I love how much more Sandi laughs at Alan's shenanigans

  • TheZapan99
    TheZapan99 4 months ago +6

    Bill being the MVP by yes-and-ing the bit right when Alan had a lull. Seriously, no amount of "woke diversity comedian" can replace these chaps.

    • TRiG (Ireland)
      TRiG (Ireland) 4 months ago +5

      Bill was great, yes.
      And no one's trying to replace these guys, so keep the irrelevant butthurt out of what was otherwise a positive and enjoyable comment.

  • Frank Verdino
    Frank Verdino 4 months ago +5

    Is Alan ever sober?

    • Joske Tobben
      Joske Tobben 4 months ago +3

      More sober than when Mr. Fry-yer-brain is around I'm sure. Half his autobiography is basically complaining about his coke habit. The other half is insinuating how awesome it is despite..

  • JimFC Gregg
    JimFC Gregg 4 months ago +24

    I've just noticed something: sometimes when Sandy is audibly laughing, there's no motion to indicate it! You can just barely see her throat twitching as it articulates the laugh. See 0:43. I had to view that a few times to figure out the picture hadn't frozen.

    • W B
      W B 29 days ago +1

      My guess is the video doesn't match up with the audio there

  • Howard Send
    Howard Send 4 months ago +4

    Alan mimes all his jokes.

  • ohnoitschris
    ohnoitschris 4 months ago +13

    Alan seemed to channel Eddie Izzard a few times there

  • Michael Duddy
    Michael Duddy 4 months ago +4

    Bill said you can make scaffolding out of bamboo. I think he plays Minecraft.

    • Michael Duddy
      Michael Duddy 4 months ago +1

      @Hyperspace Jester sure you can make an asian country in minecraft.

    • Hyperspace Jester
      Hyperspace Jester 4 months ago +5

      A lot of Asian countries literally use bamboo for scaffolding.

  • MrsGisawesome
    MrsGisawesome 4 months ago

    panda with jazz hands....lol

  • Justin Kalman
    Justin Kalman 4 months ago

    One of many things I learned as a security guard at the Museum of Sex in NYC is stuff about pandas. For example, most pandas in captivity are so utterly clueless about what it is to BE a panda that they can sometimes be shown pandas having sex in videos, panda porn, in order to give them some idea of what it is like so that they can have a chance at breeding.

  • Just Vin
    Just Vin 4 months ago +4

    Love the Withnail and I reference.

    • Ashley Hyatt
      Ashley Hyatt 4 months ago +1

      @Nathaniel Cann It would be great to see Ralph Brown on QI!
      His Danny character made a slight comeback in The Boat that Rocked. Well, somewhat similar character (Danny the later years lol). For a different taste of his work you could check out The Black and Blue Lamp.

    • Nathaniel Cann
      Nathaniel Cann 4 months ago +3

      Just Vin I burst out laughing when I heard Allen say that! Would love to see Danny on QI!!

    • Ashley Hyatt
      Ashley Hyatt 4 months ago +5

      "Who says it's a Camberwell carrot?"
      "I do. I invented it in Camberwell and it looks like a carrot."

  • Pipe Tunes
    Pipe Tunes 4 months ago

    The best part is no fry the bottom

  • Dave Rivers
    Dave Rivers 4 months ago +12

    Panda with jazz hands. You don't see that everyday!

  • dielaughing73
    dielaughing73 4 months ago


  • I Do What I Want
    I Do What I Want 4 months ago +8

    Alan looks like a turtle in the thumbnail

  • Mergrew 01
    Mergrew 01 4 months ago +145

    I love when Bill takes off normal, and puts on weird! He and Alan just riff.

    • T Electronix
      T Electronix 4 months ago +1

      He was fine till he worked in that bookshop.

    • eoinh1
      eoinh1 4 months ago

      Just spliff

  • Diana Alksne
    Diana Alksne 4 months ago +5

    Bill said you could build scaffolding with bamboo. A fellow minecrafter. Warms my heart.

    • Rares Dan Pologea
      Rares Dan Pologea 4 months ago +1

      @MEKKANNOID r/whoosh

      MEKKANNOID 4 months ago +1

      @Rares Dan Pologea Start living in the real world, not everything is a computer game.

    • Rares Dan Pologea
      Rares Dan Pologea 4 months ago

      I absolutely refuse to acknowledge that bamboo has been known by anyone anywhere outside of minecraft! I bet Bill even has his own minecraft server and probably mods too!

    • stiimuli
      stiimuli 4 months ago +6

      That wasn't a Minecraft reference, it was a Chinese reference. The Chinese were famous for bamboo scaffolding long before Notch was even born.

  • hcAdonis
    hcAdonis 4 months ago +1

    Alan is not that funny..... cringe humour

    • Jez Brown
      Jez Brown 3 months ago

      I bet he understands subjectivity though.

    • hcAdonis
      hcAdonis 4 months ago

      Dead Doll who are you Alans agent??

    • Dead Doll
      Dead Doll 4 months ago +2

      @hcAdonis You saying so doesn't make it so.

    • hcAdonis
      hcAdonis 4 months ago

      Gryph Lane who cares if he is than me but still not funny

    • Gryph Lane
      Gryph Lane 4 months ago +4

      He's funnier than you.

  • KeppyKep
    KeppyKep 4 months ago +349

    Alan is absolutely incredible.
    And Bill is so skillful. He saw how Alan was starting to slow down, so jumped in with a quick bit, allowing Alan to rebound and keep going. Incredible

    • Lost
      Lost Month ago +1

      When Stephen Fry left the show, Alan apparently very nearly followed.

    • Alan Canon
      Alan Canon 4 months ago +11

      Payback for Gerard de Nerval's lobster Monsieur Clicky.

  • Lumpy
    Lumpy 4 months ago +2

    Alan make me fully erect

  • Turrebo
    Turrebo 4 months ago +53

    I thought this was going to be another Blue Whale trap

    • floooooooooooooooood
      floooooooooooooooood 4 months ago

      That would be impressive.

    • The sandwich
      The sandwich 4 months ago +5

      Sky whales coming over the jungle just dropping from the sky to CRUNCH on their prey! The deadliest prey! BAMBOO.

    • Voltaic Fire
      Voltaic Fire 4 months ago +3

      Always suspect the cunning blue whale.

  • HelpI'mObsessedWithTheBosnianWar

    Who's the black woman?

    • armin
      armin 4 months ago +3

      I've barely heard her say anything, let alone anything funny.

    • Pony Montana
      Pony Montana 4 months ago +1

      Desiree Burch? Never heard of her but Google tells me she's a former dominatrix🤷‍♂️

    • ChadW
      ChadW 4 months ago

      It literally says her name in the description.

  • PlainsPup
    PlainsPup 4 months ago +24

    Could've also said red panda, as opposed to giant panda; the two are not very closely related, despite the name.

    • PlainsPup
      PlainsPup 4 months ago

      @SmashPortal That's right!

    • SmashPortal
      SmashPortal 4 months ago +2

      The sad part is that red pandas are still endangered, and that means that he answered the question correctly.

  • puirYorick
    puirYorick 4 months ago +7

    They're cute and cuddly as cubs but still grow up to be grumpy solitary bears with general antisocial attitudes. Ask Homer Simpson. 😨😨

    • Stefanos G
      Stefanos G 4 months ago

      Let the bears pay the bear tax!

  • Rasmus n.e.M
    Rasmus n.e.M 4 months ago +83

    Bill's comment: "You can make a xylophone out of it!"
    Me: "Yes! And it's not even a tree!"

  • Ian Montgomery
    Ian Montgomery 4 months ago +3

    They are Giant Pandas.

  • Deco Dolly
    Deco Dolly 4 months ago +51

    Third time in a row that I'm watching a QI upload before YT have notified me that it's here. Either I'm a witch or YT's admin needs some work.

    • Blair Buskirk
      Blair Buskirk 9 days ago

      Worship it

    • Deco Dolly
      Deco Dolly 4 months ago

      @SkyWizardless If you got better as a newt than you were before, I shall send you an invoice for services rendered!

    • SkyWizardless
      SkyWizardless 4 months ago +2

      She's a witch, she turned me into a newt!
      I got better.

    • tvdan1043
      tvdan1043 4 months ago

      Deco Dolly can you build a bridge out of yourself? If you can, then you weigh the same as a duck. And therefore... WITCH!!!!!

    • HaraTaiki
      HaraTaiki 4 months ago +1

      @HairyHariyama they definitely didnt worship it!

  • Monty Python the Flying Circus

    You can never replace Alan.... the show would never be the same without him...

    • Daria Lu,
      Daria Lu, 3 months ago


    • Lugh Summerson
      Lugh Summerson 4 months ago +1

      Mel Giedroyc would be a better Alan than Alan.

    • Howard Send
      Howard Send 4 months ago +1

      Monty Python the Flying Circus Do you like him miming every joke?

    • Stewart Boyle
      Stewart Boyle 4 months ago

      Monty Python, no

    • artistjoh
      artistjoh 4 months ago +5

      Monty Python the Flying Circus Alan was better, more restrained with Stephen. The whole show went from wonderful to only okay when Stephen left.

  • BobEckert56
    BobEckert56 4 months ago +2

    My like is incomplete without Sandy and the gang!!

  • David Willson
    David Willson 4 months ago +1


  • New Message
    New Message 4 months ago +1

    Pandas would eat you, and everyone you love in an instant, if they could. It's all a long con, and they're sucking us in for the big massacre to come... mark my words.

  • Max
    Max 4 months ago +4


  • DinoLover
    DinoLover 4 months ago +4


    • Daniel Foley
      Daniel Foley 4 months ago +1

      @DinoLover did you just..? Nevermind

    • DinoLover
      DinoLover 4 months ago +2

      good work bro, very quick