• Published on Jan 15, 2022
  • Drugs Came First - The Documentary series.
    A real life Documentary in loving memory of Nicola Ramsay.
    'FRANK' is a support service that provides information about drugs, plus advice for people who use drugs, and their parents or carers.
    Call the Frank helpline: 0300 123 66 00
    'DrugFAM' offers phone and email support to people affected by other people's drug or alcohol misuse.
    Email: office@drugfam.co.uk or call the helpline: 0300 888 3853.
    'Families Anonymous' is based on the same principles as Alcoholics Anonymous. It runs local support groups for the family and friends of people with a drug problem.
    Email: office@famanon.org.uk or call the helpline: 0207 4984 680.
    Adsense Revenue will be donated to the charity Action On Addiction www.actiononaddiction.org.uk
    Produced and Directed by Sydney May Crouch
    contact - Paul@optimustalent.co.uk
    Filmed and Edited by Elliot Stephens
    @Elliot Stephens
    Instagram: elliotxstep...
    Guest - Paul Hannaford (Award winning real life story-education for Children)
    Special thanks to:
    Julia Standing
    Lee Ramsay
    Joel Crouch
    Teresa Charlton
    Sarah Worrall
    Madeleine Hooper
  • Film & AnimationFilm & Animation

Comments • 236

  • Imogenation
    Imogenation 4 months ago +338

    Crying my eyes out, I cannot even imagine how strong you are to film this, let alone go through what you went through and continue to feel now. You're incredible, I'm so so proud of you for being so open & helping so many by raising awareness. Sending all of my love xxxxx

  • Olivia Kate
    Olivia Kate 4 months ago +276

    This should be shown in schools and televised nationally, an incredible series so far💙

  • Elz the Witch
    Elz the Witch 4 months ago +40

    this is incredible.. really proud of you ❤

  • Emily
    Emily 4 months ago +238

    Sobbing🥺 Can’t imagine how hard this would of been to film for you all, beyond proud of you🤍

  • Cherrie Akalley
    Cherrie Akalley 4 months ago +101

    When Joel and your uncle started crying 😭 I sobbed. I can’t imagine how hard this would be to film and go through xxx

  • Rhiana Bailey
    Rhiana Bailey 4 months ago +165

    Sitting here sobbing after this video, I have no relation at all to this topic but I just can’t imagine the pain your family have been through. The diary and photos just got to me, it’s like your mum was still there under the drugs trying to get out from behind it but she just couldn’t. This is so enlightening and I think you guys are so brave to share this story🤍✨

  • Charly Dorgan
    Charly Dorgan 4 months ago +115

    Still so proud of you syd, still can't believe you've documented your Mom's story! Sending so much love to you and your whole family🤍

  • Bethany Tollon
    Bethany Tollon 4 months ago +111

    You are your mums double. I can see she had your personality you are living the life she would of wanted how amazing that you get to carry on her legacy. You have done incredible Syd by sharing your mums story 🥰

    • Justice People
      Justice People 4 months ago

      Her legacy?! This is syds and the rest of the familys legacy (particularly the grandparents) who had to pick up the pieces. Don't mean to be blunt, but there's no legacy in becoming an addict and losing your life over your addiction.

  • Lucy Anderton
    Lucy Anderton 4 months ago +7

    This is so moving, seeing your uncle get upset reading her diary broke my heart. Such a devastating thing for you all to have gone through. You’re all inspirational xx

  • Ellie Jones
    Ellie Jones 4 months ago +46

    Another incredible episode, so emotional and raw! Deserves so much attention x

  • Claire Louise
    Claire Louise 4 months ago +44

    This is so heartbreaking and raw… 💔 a documentary that all need to watch! Thank you for sharing your Mums and your family’s story x

  • asioe kiou
    asioe kiou 4 months ago +5

    this is truly one of the most eye-opening things, can’t imagine how incredibly hard for all of you to recant these memories but truly an amazing thing to bring awareness too

  • Blake Brooks
    Blake Brooks 4 months ago +18

    this is truly one of the most eye-opening things, can’t imagine how incredibly hard for all of you to recant these memories but truly an amazing thing to bring awareness too❤️

  • Amelia Day
    Amelia Day 4 months ago +17

    This is heartbreaking yet so powerful. It’s amazing that you and your family are able to come together to put this out to such a big platform. Hopefully you’re changing the mindset of choices of many ❤️

  • Olivia Smith
    Olivia Smith 4 months ago +18

    Syd, amazing once again. I can’t even imagine what your family went through. Your Nan is an inspiration, and your Nan and grandad have done an amazing job raising you and Joel. Your mum would be so proud! ly girlie xxxxx

  • Tirion hopkins
    Tirion hopkins 3 months ago

    This genuinely brought me to tears. My heart goes out to your whole family. You all lost an incredible woman by the sounds of things. Thank you for spreading awareness❤️

  • Saskia Sabrina Tobyn
    Saskia Sabrina Tobyn 4 months ago +20

    This is amazing spreading awareness in such a personal precious way , I wish I could give you all a hug! Your family is so strong and I’m sure Nikki is looking down on you all being so proud of what you have all achieved and how strong you all are! Another week to wait but it’s so worth it🤍❤️

  • Aisha Griffiths
    Aisha Griffiths 4 months ago +43

    These documentaries need to be #1 trending! We love you syd

  • Tabitha Harper
    Tabitha Harper 4 months ago +4

    As a mother myself I would be incredibly proud to know the love I had from my children even in my darkest moments. You should be extremely proud of yourselves, it takes all the strength to be vulnerable and to put your mum in the limelight, she was no one to be ashamed of she was your mum regardless of the choices she made and this truly shows the love she has from your family and both you and your brother. And lastly your Nan, what a super woman truly she is, she protected her daughters babies when she couldn’t ❤️ ❤️❤️ this should be put on bbc one as a documentary this is truly remarkable but made with such love and kindness towards your mum. ❤️

  • Laurie Mclelland
    Laurie Mclelland 4 months ago +8

    This is the most heartbreaking and raw thing I’ve ever watched, the whole documentary deserves so much more attention/recognition! I truly believe such a devastating life changing event has shaped both of you into the amazing people you are today… You can really see your Mother in both of your eyes & I know she would be so super proud of you both with how you both are, how you both speak so loving and highly of your Mum & how this documentary on such a horrible horrible experience could really educate and help other people! Well done Sydney, it’s amazing 🤍

  • Beth Clarke
    Beth Clarke 4 months ago +2

    This documentary makes me sob!😓 you’re incredibly strong, you and Joel! I’m so proud of you both. So sorry you had to go through this😭 I can’t imagine how difficult this must of been to film. You’re both absolute warrior’s! Love to you all ❤️

  • Rebecca-Rose Santamaría
    Rebecca-Rose Santamaría 4 months ago +6

    Wow, that was powerful, I’m in absolute bits crying so I can imagine how hard this must’ve been to film. To talk about and relive something so painful in order to raise awareness and to educate takes no small amount of guts and I applaud you all. This is tough to watch but necessary. I think this should be shown in secondary schools, I think it’s so raw yet authentic and sincere that it might have more impact than the tv productions they normally show, I know I’m more effected by this than any tv documentary I’ve ever watched. Thank you Sydney, and of course your family, for making this you should all be so proud

  • Lou
    Lou 4 months ago +4

    cried at a few points in this video😭 I can’t imagine how hard it is for You & Joel to talk about your mother like this!! But I’m so proud of you for doing this Syd and your mum will be so proud of you❤️

  • Eve Borrott
    Eve Borrott 4 months ago +2

    Oh Syd this is just heartbreaking. A difficult watch and I’m sobbing but it’s so important to hear. I can’t even imagine how difficult this whole thing would’ve been for you and your family but you’re all so strong and brave I’m sure your Mum would be so proud of you all. That picture of you, your mum and Grandad is one to treasure too 💫❤️

  • Louise Poulton
    Louise Poulton 4 months ago +1

    Absolutely crying my eyes out! Your mum would be so proud! I cannot even begin to imagine how hard this was to do for you and your family. Sending my love to every single one of you ❤

  • Sophie Fc
    Sophie Fc 4 months ago +1

    This series is so educational and such an amazing way to use your platform❤️
    Just one thing to say the sound volume is really low on this series compared to your normal channel. It’s on loudest and I’ve tried on three devices, might be something to change for the next episode☺️

  • Katherine Lea
    Katherine Lea 4 months ago +1

    Sending the biggest hug to you, Joel and your family ❤️ thank you for sharing your story and raising awareness. You’ll make such a huge difference with this - your Mum would be so so so proud of you all. So beautifully put together xxx

  • leyla jung
    leyla jung 4 months ago +2

    syd, all im saying is im bawling my eyes out. you and your family are soo soo strong. you are amazing and this documentary, is making me aware of so many things.

  • Ella Rapley
    Ella Rapley 4 months ago +5

    Real tears and so beautifully put together. I lost my dad when I was young, and my brother is battling a drug addiction that's left him as a shell of himself, so my heart and strength go out to you. Spreading awareness and being so vulnerable is so commendable, thank you xxx

    • Brenda Drumm
      Brenda Drumm 4 months ago

      I've lost a beautiful daughter I don't just say that she was so good looking and a son a gent Yr half apart through drink

    • BFaye Brooks
      BFaye Brooks 4 months ago +1

      I hope you are okay 💫💛

  • Demi Taylor
    Demi Taylor 4 months ago +4

    Both yourself & Joel are amazing and so brave. As are the rest of your family. Very inspirational and emotional, this was so touching ❤️

  • Lauren Francis
    Lauren Francis 4 months ago

    This documentary is absolutely devastating and amazing at the same time. You should be so proud of yourself Syd, you and Joel are so strong and I can’t imagine having to go through any of this and no one should ever have to. I am so glad you are bringing awareness to this as it is a bigger and more common issue that is treated as taboo. Honestly, you are amazing❤️

  • Charlotte Thornton
    Charlotte Thornton 4 months ago

    This is so amazing what you’re doing Syd, my heart goes out to you and your family ❤️

  • Ellie xo
    Ellie xo 4 months ago +1

    You’re doing an amazing job Sydney. Your mum would be so proud, Everyone should know more about Addiction and ways to cope. Can’t imagine how hard this was for you and your family to relive it x

  • 319Mollie
    319Mollie 4 months ago +2

    Thankyou to you and your family for sharing your story❤️ you’re all so brave and inspirational. This series deserves to be recognised✨

  • emily
    emily 4 months ago +1

    so insanely proud of you always syd, i can never imagine what you and your family are going through still to do this day but i just know that you’re going to change peoples lives from this documentary. your mum would be so proud of you 🤍

  • emxsa
    emxsa 4 months ago +2

    the strength, you and everyone involved have to film this & share all your experiences is amazing. thanks so much for sharing your mums story with us 🤍🤍

  • Sarah Kiddier
    Sarah Kiddier 4 months ago +1

    Sydney. Thank you so much for letting us into your life. I cannot imagine what you’ve all been through. ❤️

  • Georgia X
    Georgia X 4 months ago +1

    I have so much love and respect for you and your family after watching the first two videos of this series. I can’t imagine how hard this must of been to film for you. Sending my love to you always xxx

  • Lauren Szafranek
    Lauren Szafranek 4 months ago +1

    Sitting here crying watching this, you and your family are so strong for going through this and also documenting it to help people ❤️

  • Kia Rosina
    Kia Rosina 4 months ago +1

    Absolutely sobbing! you and your family are so amazing, can’t even begin to imagine what you all went through x Amazing second episode

  • Beth Clemance
    Beth Clemance 4 months ago +3

    Oh my gosh, I’m sobbing. I can’t imagine what you all went through but omg the strength of your nan and grandad! you are so lucky to have had them there! thankyou for sharing this♥️

  • Hui- 👈𝓕**СК МЕ - СНЕ𝓒𝓚 𝓜𝓨 Р𝓡0𝓕𝓘𝓛Е🔞

    Still so proud of you syd, still can't believe you've documented your Mom's story! Sending so much love to you and your whole family

  • Amy B
    Amy B 4 months ago +1

    Sending you all so so so much love. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that you all went through and how hard it must be still. You can see how much she loved you all and how much you all love her❤️ x

  • Leah Merrett
    Leah Merrett 4 months ago

    Absolutely sobbing my heart out! I cant imagine the heartbreak you and your family went through syd. You’ve grown into such an amazing beautiful women you should be so proud of yourself girl. Lots of love💗💗

  • Amiisims
    Amiisims 4 months ago +3

    I’ve been through this, with my own mother. Thankfully my father cleaned up when my sister and I were about to be taken away. But this hits so close to home for me. My mother got clean from crack but has never been the same she still is the most selfish person I have ever met and it wasn’t till I had my own kids I realized how hard my life was because of her. I stopped speaking to her because you can get rid of the drugs but that personality is still there the addictive personality whether it’s men, alcohol, other drugs etc and what will replace the feeling of crack. We never came first even after she got clean and as a mother I cannot deal with that.

  • charlotte douthwaite
    charlotte douthwaite 4 months ago

    In absolute awe of how strong you and your family are!💗 you all have an incredibly difficult story to tell, but are portraying it so well, sending you all so much love!xxx

  • Jennifer Taylor
    Jennifer Taylor 4 months ago +1

    In tears this week! You and your brother are incredible, what an amazing bond you have with you grandparents! Sydney, you are just amazing! Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us xx

  • Kate Elizabeth
    Kate Elizabeth 4 months ago +1

    Endlessly proud of you and your family for filming your story to raise awareness 💛

  • Sas AC
    Sas AC 4 months ago +4

    The bravery of yourself and your family is inspiring. In awe of you all. Thank you for sharing your story. Episode 2 was so so powerful ❤️

  • Ellie Jones
    Ellie Jones 4 months ago +1

    My heart absolute breaks for you and your family Syd, the strength you all have is admireable. I have experienced something similar and I have seen how this type of thing breaks families apart, it is amazing to see that you are all there for eachother. Sending nothing but love to you all. Outside of this documentary it is amazing to see how well you are all doing in life and seeing you tell your past and your mums story really really does show that you never know what people have gone through. I think you are all so incredibly brave xxx

  • Deanna Felton
    Deanna Felton 4 months ago +1

    Ahh Syd I am soo beyond proud of you this has turned out absolutely amazing aoo far !!! It's going to really help soo many ppl !! I know its helped myself I have had a similar situation with both of my parents as well dealing with both of those drugs and everything that comes along with it my mom also sycophantic and my sister and I dont talk to our father anymore but from the trauma of it all I ended up having a problem myself for a couple years as well lucky I got out of it but its hard and really takes a toll on the whole family so for ypu to come out and speak about it to help ppl really takes a special person to do so so thank you from the bottom of my heart I truly belive this will help soo many ppl congrats on the amazing work !! Can't wait to see the rest of the episodes!! Xoxo 😍

  • Darcy Wynter
    Darcy Wynter 4 months ago +5

    This is incredible! In absolute awe of how amazing you and your family are😢❤️So proud xx

  • georgia lowndes
    georgia lowndes 4 months ago +1

    That was a hard one to watch!🥺 my heart breaks for you but you are doing all of this for the right reasons and its incredible! The home videos are so precious ❤️

  • Life of Lucie
    Life of Lucie 4 months ago

    I’m absolutely broken hearted at this. You’re such a strong amazing family ❤️ xxx sending so much love

  • Sophie Anne Maria
    Sophie Anne Maria 4 months ago

    You’re just so so brave. You and your whole family are so inspiring. It’s some strength you’ve got to relive all these memories and to share them with us all. ❤️

  • Amber Williams
    Amber Williams 4 months ago +1

    My heart aches for you all, you're all so so strong! Should be so proud of yourself Syd, you're amazing, as are your family ❤

  • Charlotte Rose
    Charlotte Rose 4 months ago +1

    You’re family is so beautiful. I can’t begin to imagine what they went through. You’re all so strong and brave to produce something so raw, honest and real! Sending my love to you all🤍

  • Thegirlygirlx
    Thegirlygirlx 4 months ago

    These episodes are honestly incredible. You and your family and your mum all deserve/deserved the world. So proud of you for speaking up in a subject that isn’t spoken about enough❤️

  • Anya Ajgaybee
    Anya Ajgaybee 4 months ago

    Syd I am so beyond proud of you for achieving your goal and doing this documentary, Your family should be so proud of themselves for spending awareness, helping other families and doing it so well, I’m sending so much love to you all and again I am so so so beyond proud ❤️

  • Immy C
    Immy C 4 months ago

    This is so powerful Syd, you and your family and friends should be so proud of yourself for being so vulnerable and honest your mum would be so proud of you ❤️

  • Bethany Cumming
    Bethany Cumming 4 months ago +1

    This is heartbreaking you are a gorgeous girl and so strong and no one would have any idea how you have been through. You should be so proud of yourself Syd and Joel you should be so proud of how honest and open you are in this documentary ❤️❤️

  • Leah Nolan
    Leah Nolan 4 months ago +2

    What an incredible family you have, your mum would be so so proud of you all, what a beautiful documentary. I am sobbing my heart out, god knows how you are feeling. We love you all so much Syd!

  • Poppy Jayes
    Poppy Jayes 4 months ago +1

    Honestly so proud of you! Thank you for sharing. Can’t thank you enough for sharing! Must have been heartbreaking ❤️‍🩹 lots of love to you and your family x

  • liv Pattison
    liv Pattison 4 months ago

    i just want to thank you for coming out about this syd, it brings so much awareness to the younger generations that’ll soon be affected by drugs. so proud 💓

  • [FRANKIE] H0T Girl L!ve Cam

    This should be shown in schools and televised nationally, an incredible series so far

  • bocoy noiu
    bocoy noiu 4 months ago

    the strength, you and everyone involved have to film this & share all your experiences is amazing. thanks so much for sharing your mums story with us

  • Luanne Brown
    Luanne Brown 4 months ago +1

    So heartbreaking to watch. Strongest family to do this and I can tell of how proud each one of ur followers and family are of u for doing this. This really brings drug addictions to life ❤️

  • Ella Woodhouse
    Ella Woodhouse 4 months ago +1

    Thank you for bringing light to addiction as this is a subject that has also effected my family massively. I relate to you on so many levels. Sending you so much love. You and your family are so strong❤️

  • Thaila Rachael
    Thaila Rachael 4 months ago +2

    Hearts broken for you & Joel 💔
    I lost my mum, not to drugs but losing a parent is one of the hardest things let alone to go through all this too.
    I’m so sorry Sydney. xxxx

  • Natalie Wilson
    Natalie Wilson 4 months ago

    You and your family are absolutely incredible , everything you have been through and being able to do this documentary is amazing! ❤️

  • Katie Martin
    Katie Martin 4 months ago +1

    As someone who’s 5 years clean this is incredible!! Thank you so much for sharing and creating this

  • EL93
    EL93 4 months ago

    Heart breaks for you and Joel ♥️ sobbed through this. You and your family are so brave & courageous. All my love to you all you all should feel immensely proud xxx

  • Lauren Mee
    Lauren Mee 4 months ago +1

    Have been waiting for episode 2! This must be so hard for you all but remember you are all doing an amazing thing well done to you and your family 💖

  • Amanda Laing
    Amanda Laing 4 months ago +1

    Wow😭😭 this episode was so emotional! You and your family are so strong Syd, it’s really hard hitting!

  • Meg Albury
    Meg Albury 4 months ago +1

    You are all the most incredible people! This is truly heartbreaking to watch let alone live through. Nan is the kindest, purest most beautiful person and a complete inspiration. Having gone through childhood trauma and being the big sister and protecting my younger brother it truly broke my heart seeing Joel upset. It difficult remembering the past but it must be even harder not remembering and living through other peoples memories. This is such an important story and raw insight into your trauma and it is being done in such a respectful and kind way the raw emotions will stay with us all forever and I hope you know how many peoples lives you will change and save through your story! ❤️

  • Rebecca Thompson
    Rebecca Thompson 4 months ago

    You are so brave and should be proud of what you’ve created here. My cousin died of a drug overdose at the age of 25 and it was terrifying, she was the most happiest and colourful soul I knew it really is a shame there’s not more help for people in these situations. We can only hope that people think before they do ❤️

  • Lissa-💖 𝐹**СК МЕ - СНЕ𝒞𝒦 𝑀𝒴 Р𝑅𝟢𝐹𝐼𝐿Е	🔞

    This should be shown in schools and televised nationally, an incredible series so far

  • Katie Shields
    Katie Shields 4 months ago

    In floods of tears here 😭 what a strong family! What a difference this documentry is going to make to people's lives ❤️

  • Charr Jade
    Charr Jade 4 months ago

    I admire your strength, every single one of you. You are all incredible people and I can only imagine the pain you’ve all endured trying to save her from the dark side of life.
    There really is no glamour to heroine and crack, no drugs should be glamourised.
    Nikki sounded like a beautiful soul who didn’t deserve this horrible disease to take her🥺
    Well done Sydney and all of your family, I think this documentary could go so far and who knows maybe even save another ones life💔😢

  • Jenna Brennan
    Jenna Brennan 4 months ago +2

    When your mums brother broke down crying that absolutely ruined me, just heartbreaking, such an important documentary, truly eye opening ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • jane melina
    jane melina 4 months ago

    So proud of you and your family for telling your moms story❤️ must have been so hard for all of you..❤️

  • Sherridon Knight
    Sherridon Knight 4 months ago

    So emotional, you and your family are amazing! I’m positive this will help so so so many people x

  • Lacie Newcombe
    Lacie Newcombe 4 months ago

    It’s crazy this happened with my mum and dad (the shoplifting) it’s crazy how similar this story is to my parents. Not a lot of people realise all of the stuff you go through being the kid in that situation and what the family goes through let alone the person whose got caught up in it🥺 so proud of you for doing this❤️

  • Izzy
    Izzy  4 months ago

    You and your family are so brave for doing this. It’s heartbreaking to see and reminds me of how drugs affected our family with my cousin 🥺 I can only imagine how hard this was for all of you to make. Heartbreaking 💔 sending all my love

  • Hannah Brown
    Hannah Brown 4 months ago +19

    Been waiting all week for this! so proud of you x

  • Kels K
    Kels K 4 months ago +1

    What an incredible, beautiful family! So emotional hearing everyone talk about her. 😢

  • Alisa Bright
    Alisa Bright 4 months ago

    This is incredible, must’ve been so hard too do as it’s such a sensitive topic,we all love u syd

  • Lauren Griffiths
    Lauren Griffiths 4 months ago +1

    incredible documentary 🥺! this must have been so hard to film and talk about! ❤️❤️

  • Lucy S
    Lucy S 4 months ago +2

    Wow you had me sobbing all the way through. I cannot imagine the emotions when reading her diary, so brave❤️

  • Megan Canay
    Megan Canay 4 months ago

    I said this on the previous episode you guys are so strong❤️and watching these first two episodes have been so educational and emotional keep going syd and family you guys are amazing🌸

  • Alisha Nugent
    Alisha Nugent 4 months ago +1

    This has me sobbing again 🤍so raw and heartbreaking but everyone is so proud of what you are doing !!

  • Millie Smith
    Millie Smith 4 months ago

    This is so sad but so beautiful, so sorry for your loss but so proud of how well you cope and have managed to make this x

  • Meg Darroch
    Meg Darroch 4 months ago

    Honestly words can't describe how proud she would be of you and you should be of yourself, you're changing lives Syd ❤ love you and your channel

  • Paige Parratt
    Paige Parratt 4 months ago

    This is so amazingly made! I am so sorry for what you have been through and for your poor mum 💜

  • Laura Blower
    Laura Blower 4 months ago

    Honestly can’t stop crying, what a beautiful & strong family you all are💛

  • Amie
    Amie  4 months ago

    so raw and heartbreaking! you and your family should be so proud sharing your mums story❤

  • Aisling Owen
    Aisling Owen 4 months ago +1

    sending you and your family so much love, your strength is so admirable xxx

  • roseann ilgunas
    roseann ilgunas 4 months ago

    So heartbreaking for you and Joel and your family ,,can't imagine how hard it was to film but be so proud of yourself 💞💔💔 x

  • Naomi Harrison
    Naomi Harrison 4 months ago

    Wow! You’re educating people so much 👏🏼 you and your brother are so strong to have gone through all this! I just want to give your nan a big hug 🤗 🙈

  • Charlotte & Olivia
    Charlotte & Olivia 4 months ago

    Absolutely heartbreaking and so incredibly amazing of you all to be doing this 🥺❤️ wow