Do You Want To Have Children? | Jimmy Carr Live

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  • Jimmy discusses one of the big questions in life! The ultimate bonding experience...having a child! Let's just say, there's a lot of things to consider...
    The Official Channel for the biggest face in British comedy (literally the biggest face - it's like the moon.)
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    #JimmyCarr #Comedy #StandUp

Comments • 80

  • GodRyder
    GodRyder Month ago

    Oh I get it now, all that thought of future child was simply he's thinking whether to come in her or pull it out : D :D

  • Weirdlyoneoffs
    Weirdlyoneoffs 2 months ago

    I love the long build up to 'NO'. Jimmy you must keep missing the goal! ;-)

  • Burt Wrangler
    Burt Wrangler 2 months ago

    *" Political Economist, Toby Rogers, PhD MPP, joins Del in a powerful discussion on the cost of autism on the U.S. economy, a problem he says “will collapse the United States of America.” ! "* : - thexvid.com/video/_1xey8zlyQo/video.html

  • Simon Mitchell
    Simon Mitchell 2 months ago +3

    Do not EVER have children.

  • Oleg BNK
    Oleg BNK 2 months ago

    Как же быстро сукккаааааааааа

  • Barrens chat
    Barrens chat 2 months ago

    better jokes watching Bloomberg Live Stream News, 580 viewing, 38k likes, 4k dislikes

  • Geoffrey Sorkin
    Geoffrey Sorkin 2 months ago

    I was surprised the first time I saw this. I was expecting it to end with paedophilia joke

  • ГНЕВ МЕМЕНТО

    До просмотра Джимми думал что знаю английский и понимаю его. Как же быстро этот ослина говорит

  • Mike Williams
    Mike Williams 2 months ago

    Long build up to a feeble punchline.

  • PerpetualApex
    PerpetualApex 2 months ago

    I think his to bright to have a dependent ...he hesitated massively 👍👏

  • Google home
    Google home 2 months ago

    Reading the title I thought it was a proposition

  • Daemon
    Daemon 2 months ago

    He's getting fat.

  • dolimi jotoo
    dolimi jotoo 2 months ago

    Kids? Not for me. The nondescript van full of candy to get one is just way out of my budget.

  • lightawake
    lightawake 2 months ago

    aw...to be honest, I think his thoughtful considerations just reiterate the fact that he would, in fact, make a wonderful dad.

  • bowen voowy
    bowen voowy 2 months ago +6

    Jimmy please have a child so you pass your laugh on to the next generation

    • H M
      H M 2 months ago

      Pretty rich, coming from a sęx bot

  • ХХХ АMАTЕUR SЕХ VIDEO - СLICК HЕRЕ

    3:05

  • afutla qian
    afutla qian 2 months ago +1

    I was wondering where this was going 😂

  • abbsnn cose
    abbsnn cose 2 months ago

    I was wondering where this was going 😂

    • paulkazjack
      paulkazjack 2 months ago

      My god i'm on the floor that sketch was terrible.

    • bowen voowy
      bowen voowy 2 months ago

      My god I’m on the floor laughing That sketch was terrible

  • Les Brown
    Les Brown 2 months ago

    found some fresh talent for you Jimmy all the way from Buelah, The Bill n Cheryl Act,
    should fit right in.

  • bodoti qwiu
    bodoti qwiu 2 months ago

    rabbit album and shoot pool together :)

    • afutla qian
      afutla qian 2 months ago

      Is it me or is jimmy Carr gaining weight

  • little O' Biscuit
    little O' Biscuit 2 months ago

    Wow he was kinda fat

  • apolo5757
    apolo5757 2 months ago +1

    Depopulation is great

    • bodoti qwiu
      bodoti qwiu 2 months ago

      Jimmy Saville had loads of children, what's the f issue then ?

  • David Brown
    David Brown 2 months ago

    I saw a comment on a video about bitcoin investment, I decided to try it and shockingly my little investment of $800 yielded a profit of $2700 in a month, you can invest as little as $300. If you're interested in investing, he's a binary options specialist and a bitcoin investment agent, contact @oscar_kings_ on instagram with LIGTRIG - TRADING AND BITCOIN MINING or visit www.ligtrig.com

  • Comedy Village
    Comedy Village 2 months ago

    🤣🤣 Love a shocker of a punchline. Jimmy Carr never fails there. Brilliant. 🤣🤣.

  • Andrew Manche
    Andrew Manche 2 months ago +2

    you have to use vulgarities Jimmy? can't manage good humour without them? not my cuppa tea

  • Andreas Kristensen
    Andreas Kristensen 2 months ago +1

    Not with you, thank you very much.

    • afutla qian
      afutla qian 2 months ago

      Is it me or is jimmy Carr gaining weight

  • General Robert E Lee
    General Robert E Lee 2 months ago

    @Jimmy Carr - You are getting FAT dude.

  • Antinatalist Outreach
    Antinatalist Outreach 2 months ago

    Jimmy, admit it, you're an Antinatalist.

  • phantasyryder
    phantasyryder 2 months ago +1

    Predictable.

  • MrJamesdryable
    MrJamesdryable 2 months ago +30

    *Imagine his family laughing at you... horrifying.*

    • Connor
      Connor 2 months ago

      @Braamsery1992 TLTR poopoo

    • Braamsery1992
      Braamsery1992 2 months ago +5

      Got a friend that laughs a bit like that. His father as well.
      We were at his birthday once with a few friends/family.

      At one point one of them started laughing. So the other started because of the laugh itself, then we couldnt hold it. It takes forever to calm down. And if someone starts laughing in that silence, that just starts it all over again.

      Its not horrifying, its too damn funny to believe :D

  • Oscar Beavis
    Oscar Beavis 2 months ago +4

    My god I’m on the floor laughing

    That sketch was terrible

  • Doctor Witch.
    Doctor Witch. 2 months ago

    Just me or is he looking a bit chubby in the beginning

  • Lee 10134
    Lee 10134 2 months ago

    Is it me or is jimmy Carr gaining weight

    • M.V.K
      M.V.K 2 months ago

      No, it's just his wallet he keeps his money in to keep it away from the TAX man.

  • The DemonicKiller23
    The DemonicKiller23 2 months ago

    Jimmy Carr is getting fat.

  • crim somreaf5555
    crim somreaf5555 2 months ago

    I want to have kids but .......yeah with my ugly looks that will never happen

    • bobby bee
      bobby bee 2 months ago

      Thats a shame you think that way, unless this is a joke. Seriously some beautifull children from people who are not considred handsome or pretty. Now different if you have an ugly mind then yeh mate best not.

  • Grandmas Tits
    Grandmas Tits 2 months ago

    Jimmy Saville had loads of children, what's the f issue then ?

    • Grandmas Tits
      Grandmas Tits 2 months ago

      @Tim Mason he thought differently mate, that's the point.

    • Tim Mason
      Tim Mason 2 months ago

      They were not his children.

  • jikook's secret love child

    It doesn't code £100000 it costs £2 million...

  • I AM EVIL! !!!!!!!!
    I AM EVIL! !!!!!!!! 2 months ago +3

    Don’t have children the world is full adopt if you want children

  • Yam Man
    Yam Man 2 months ago +3

    Well at least his misses got a pearl necklace...

  • Henry Discipline
    Henry Discipline 2 months ago

    Fake fake laugh

    • bobby bee
      bobby bee 2 months ago

      Hate the laugh, thought it was fake but sadly not, bit irratating to me.But that's just my personal opnion and everyone is entitled to those arn't they .

  • Dan Lyle
    Dan Lyle 2 months ago +105

    "This is a Jimmy Carr joke, there will be a twist"
    "Actually, he's making some very good points"
    "I wasn't expecting this to be so deep"
    "Ah, there it is" 😂

    • Rocarlos Davis
      Rocarlos Davis Month ago

      @Ken R.B. Johnsen remember..it's shameful though 🤫

    • Ken R.B. Johnsen
      Ken R.B. Johnsen 2 months ago +1

      He didn't "come", he arrived.

    • Michael Andrew
      Michael Andrew 2 months ago +1

      Looks like he went deep,then came out,then came(cumed)

  • Brian Ellinger
    Brian Ellinger 2 months ago

    If I did...
    They thieves would just steal them

  • Chris Christian
    Chris Christian 2 months ago +1

    But in reality does Jimmy have any kids? This is the problem with the world the intelligent people use logic to talk themselves out of having kids while imbeciles are pumping them out by the half dozen.

    • Jordan
      Jordan 2 months ago

      Because birthing a child in the crowded, warming and Co2 polluted world we live in isn’t wise. Especially if you won’t afford to pay off 100k in 18 years.

    • Jordan
      Jordan 2 months ago

      I don’t think they’re imbeciles I think some people make the choice of using their heart over their heads. Or use their heads but let their ego cloud their judgment.

  • BoxingLion 777
    BoxingLion 777 2 months ago +2

    Having children these days is selfish
    #truth

    • BoxingLion 777
      BoxingLion 777 2 months ago

      @Grunthos The Flatulent that we are with enough simps and bots already so people should not be making kids like getting a new dog

    • Grunthos The Flatulent
      Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago

      What's yer point?

  • Sammy Boi
    Sammy Boi 2 months ago +5

    He had us in the first half not gona lie.

  • rice cup
    rice cup 2 months ago +1

    this is very political joke

  • Mister Precocious
    Mister Precocious 2 months ago +1

    Ricky Gervais on not having kids was way funnier.

  • Geoff Aldwinckle
    Geoff Aldwinckle 2 months ago +1

    Ewww Jimmy.

  • Rob Mason
    Rob Mason 2 months ago +1

    Don’t do it 🙅🏼‍♂️😂

  • Barrios Groupie
    Barrios Groupie 2 months ago

    He's 47 and too old anyway.

  • Jerami Banks
    Jerami Banks 2 months ago

    Young Sheldon?

  • iamplay
    iamplay 2 months ago

    😆😆

  • Klara Stern
    Klara Stern 2 months ago +2

    most parents didn't plan on being parents.. it just happened, because.. stupidity
    I don't want children either...

    • Klara Stern
      Klara Stern 2 months ago

      @Knight Forbes Oh.. I'm do glad I have your support in this decision. It was so important to me that youtube's own "Knight Forbes" is pleased with my decision, how to use my uterus.

    • Knight Forbes
      Knight Forbes 2 months ago

      @Klara Stern Good!

    • Klara Stern
      Klara Stern 2 months ago

      @Grunthos The Flatulent "just happen" as 'not being planned'.. I'd say it was rather clear... but that's the thing about people, who lack actual depth... they need to find some "pretend-problem" to solve, so they feel better about themselves... I hoped it helped you..

    • Klara Stern
      Klara Stern 2 months ago

      @Knight Forbes I don't have children.

    • Grunthos The Flatulent
      Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago

      It's not compulsory to have sex round your fertile times. Babies don't just "happen". That's like saying they come from god

  • David Kindall
    David Kindall 2 months ago +2

    Try listening to your most happy childhood song while shooting in tournaments. For me it is I love a rainy night by Eddie rabbit.. me and my grand father would listen to Eddie rabbit album and shoot pool together :)

    • Grunthos The Flatulent
      Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago

      Could have been worse. Might have been Eddie Money. They don't write em like that any more. For good reason.

  • Gavin Allison
    Gavin Allison 2 months ago +3

    100,000 pounds to raise a kid you brits are lucky my parents have paid around about a million and a half on me and my siblings

  • RAY OF ASMR
    RAY OF ASMR 2 months ago +2

    Ya i had kids,but it's okay Jimmy i don't blame you,you tried to stop me. hahaha🙃😃😜Your great.

  • New Message
    New Message 2 months ago +32

    Kids? Not for me. The nondescript van full of candy to get one is just way out of my budget.

    • Dwayne Bearup
      Dwayne Bearup 2 months ago +1

      This is definitely the joke I was expecting Jimmy to make :)

    • Waqas Ahmed
      Waqas Ahmed 2 months ago +1

      Yeah why take an additional responsibility on your shoulders.

    • Tatsujiro Kurogane
      Tatsujiro Kurogane 2 months ago +9

      New Message Having goals can help you lead a better life. Why not start small and build up to the van? A hatchback can still hold enough candy to attract a few kids, though they might not be very good ones.

  • AppleThorn Records
    AppleThorn Records 2 months ago +18

    I’m on acid right now

    • satiricon78
      satiricon78 2 months ago +2

      Well, it should be note worthy if you had a bad trip and turned to the comment section of TheXvid for help.

    • AppleThorn Records
      AppleThorn Records 2 months ago +4

      Wasn’t the best idea for a Wednesday night 🤷‍♂️

    • AppleThorn Records
      AppleThorn Records 2 months ago +3

      I’m fine now

    • Danny Whizz-bang
      Danny Whizz-bang 2 months ago +8

      Amanda Watson You’ve never done acid then.

    • Amanda Watson
      Amanda Watson 2 months ago

      Lol, nobody on acid can see well enough to type, especially “I’m” 😂

  • WhatAboutTheBee
    WhatAboutTheBee 2 months ago +89

    Do you want to have children?


    Sure, as long as they are properly cooked.

    • ERA CASTE
      ERA CASTE 2 months ago +6

      Do you, by any chance, live in a gingerbread house?

  • Dave Goldspink
    Dave Goldspink 2 months ago +2

    😂🤣😂

  • Ryan Ford
    Ryan Ford 2 months ago +15

    I was wondering where this was going 😂

  • Rocarlos Davis
    Rocarlos Davis 2 months ago

    Lilith 46...ROCKS 🤯😥😇🤨👽

  • M1serty 120gb
    M1serty 120gb 2 months ago +2

    Переведите пожалуйста, так бегло говорит, что не понимаю вообще ничего

    • Jimie Rustler
      Jimie Rustler 2 months ago

      Давай денги блят
      Раш б сука

  • Alan Oh
    Alan Oh 2 months ago +20

    Jimmy please have a child so you pass your laugh on to the next generation

    • Wecoc1
      Wecoc1 2 months ago +5

      Maybe he stole that baby, we can't talk for sure

    • Alan Oh
      Alan Oh 2 months ago

      @Willenium2k4 Wow that's great news, thanks for the info 😊

    • Willenium2k4
      Willenium2k4 2 months ago +1

      He walked past me last weekend pushing a child in a buggy so I'd presume he has.

  • Jan Fairclough
    Jan Fairclough 2 months ago +2

    That was too serious. Went down like a lead balloon

  • SPARKY SINN
    SPARKY SINN 2 months ago +5

    Its my money. Not for babies.

  • Ridz
    Ridz 2 months ago +191

    Imagine his kids laughs

    • Kitty Jenkins
      Kitty Jenkins 2 months ago +1

      @KingAwesome666 no, it's really not I have a similar laugh and I can promise I'm not faking it it's horrible

    • KingAwesome666
      KingAwesome666 2 months ago

      It's a fake laugh so...

    • Gile
      Gile 2 months ago +6

      @AstroLOW So they'd sound Brazilian?

    • Gehad Aljabri
      Gehad Aljabri 2 months ago +6

      They’ll be seagulls

    • Charming Phoenix
      Charming Phoenix 2 months ago +2

      My son has his laugh 😑😞
      😂😂

  • Carson Johnny
    Carson Johnny 2 months ago +94

    Jimmy Carr laughs inwards

  • Khalse Fan
    Khalse Fan 2 months ago +17

    I like jimmy

  • vincent boxwood
    vincent boxwood 2 months ago +23

    See you next Tuesday Jimmy.

    • Shaun Stephens
      Shaun Stephens 2 months ago +1

      I think that you mean "C you next Tuesday"? Or are you calling him a sunt?

  • Notorious
    Notorious 2 months ago +40

    It looked like he was being serious but nope 😂

  • Mikey McMikeFace
    Mikey McMikeFace 2 months ago +7

    1:12 Why did the audience laugh at "no"? Did they assume that's the punchline and took it as the cue to laugh? Makes no sense.

    • junbh2
      junbh2 2 months ago +1

      It was funny. Even though another punchline was coming, the no was also funny. You have a strange idea of why people laugh. Do you laugh at things because you think it's 'supposed to be the punchline'? That's a pretty depressing way to listen to comedy!

    • Tessa Wammen
      Tessa Wammen 2 months ago +2

      Mikey McMikeFace They laughed because they thought it was the punchline, yes. It sounded as if all his thorough thinking just ended with a simple “no.”

  • Grunthos The Flatulent
    Grunthos The Flatulent 2 months ago +8

    Well you need to learn to slow down a bit then. I'll bet your girl friend was nowhere near finished

  • Wadood
    Wadood 2 months ago +2

    Got jabaited

  • RIXRADvidz
    RIXRADvidz 2 months ago +222

    take a deep personal thought, expose it to a paying crowd and give'm what they want a quick turn into a joke. That is Craft and Skill honed from innate Talent. please Jimmy don't die.

    • Clairvoyante
      Clairvoyante 2 months ago

      RIXRADvidz he is gay! i hope its not even a question in your minds people!!!☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽

    • Rannon
      Rannon 2 months ago

      @Mikey McMikeFace Of course it all depends on how much thought (and the quality of the thoughts, I'd say) you put into something which determine whether something is deep or not.

    • Mikey McMikeFace
      Mikey McMikeFace 2 months ago +2

      I suppose. Times have changed.

    • Rannon
      Rannon 2 months ago +2

      @Mikey McMikeFace Sure, why not? There are quite a few social and economical changes connected to that topic.

    • Mikey McMikeFace
      Mikey McMikeFace 2 months ago +3

      Your deep thought included the notion that marriage is no longer a lifelong commitment.

  • Humpback Whale
    Humpback Whale 2 months ago +36

    Those were probably some of the most genuine one has before having a child, never thought I'd learn those thoughts from a comedian. And of comedians, *Jimmy Carr*

    • John L
      John L 2 months ago

      @Ulrich Enevoldsen thexvid.com/video/8ipzwxXjAcA/video.html

    • Ulrich Enevoldsen
      Ulrich Enevoldsen 2 months ago

      @John L how?

    • John L
      John L 2 months ago

      @Ulrich Enevoldsen and look how well that turned out. Especially in countries like India and the Philippines.

    • Ulrich Enevoldsen
      Ulrich Enevoldsen 2 months ago

      @John L yes today. Before people just pregnant and had kids

    • John L
      John L 2 months ago +2

      Oh come on, those are the basic things you should think about before you have children.

  • Marie Williams
    Marie Williams 2 months ago +10

    It's great that Jimmy Carr still doesn't let the holier than thou pretentious fake as f**k crew stop him telling jokes. They are just superior trippers in my experience these are massive rude hypocrites . They love acting like they own the place telling people off like they are so perfect . They are cocky conceited c**s.

    • Rannon
      Rannon 2 months ago

      ​@Marie Williams thexvid.com/video/iuJ3oNVFq8A/video.html

    • Tatsujiro Kurogane
      Tatsujiro Kurogane 2 months ago

      @Klara Stern And you, my child, may BebbeBeJeezuz Bwess ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!
      ;)

    • Klara Stern
      Klara Stern 2 months ago

      @Tatsujiro Kurogane ...and deleted... there's hope for you yet :)

    • Klara Stern
      Klara Stern 2 months ago

      @Tatsujiro Kurogane there is no god, buddy... sorry to break it to you on a comment on a comment on a comedians video on youtube.

    • Tatsujiro Kurogane
      Tatsujiro Kurogane 2 months ago +1

      Marie Williams You do sound pretty inferior, to be fair. Maybe you just need to learn to be happy with the very little God granted you?

  • DaNiLY
    DaNiLY 2 months ago +389

    Really thought for a second he was having a genuine train of thought xD

    • Suhaav Singh
      Suhaav Singh 2 months ago

      @Mikey McMikeFace
      Love

    • PatrickAllenNL
      PatrickAllenNL 2 months ago +1

      Thats by design

    • Todestuete
      Todestuete 2 months ago +7

      @Mikey McMikeFace The "no" was kinda flat but he followed it up with 2 twists so I think it was actually a great joke. It's fine to sometimes mix it up to keep things interesting.

    • Lazy Jesus
      Lazy Jesus 2 months ago +2

      DaNiLY I think in jimmy’s case it probably was 😂

    • No One
      No One 2 months ago +15

      I think it was but he just twisted it into a joke

  • Lottie Smetham
    Lottie Smetham 2 months ago +3

    first lol

    • Mr. Absorbency
      Mr. Absorbency 2 months ago

      And no you're not

    • Mikey McMikeFace
      Mikey McMikeFace 2 months ago +1

      Three imbeciles saying "First". 🙄 And still doing that. Get a life, morons!