Americans Don't Understand English - The Jonathan Ross Show

  • Published on Nov 21, 2015
  • Michael McIntyre explains how Americans feel the need to simplify English words to the extreme.
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Comments • 5 116

  • imnevermakingavideo
    imnevermakingavideo 16 hours ago

    Its amazing how much British people talk about america

  • old republican
    old republican Day ago

    In case anybody is interested. He is half right. Proper English was designed with Teatotalers in mind. American vernacular was designed with a second bottle of rum in hand. You do not want to confuse beer glasses and shot glasses with eye glasses.

  • Abe kaye
    Abe kaye 2 days ago

    Ummm... Dude has no idea what he's talking about...
    1) No one in America says "waste paper basket", they say either "garbage can" or "trash can".
    2) No one in America says "eyeglasses", they say "glasses".

  • Bobby Beaver
    Bobby Beaver 2 days ago

    When you win the war you can rename anything you want.We have for 244 years.

  • bose gaming
    bose gaming 2 days ago +1

    British:- "bring me a torch.."
    British:-" you know from a flashy equipment from where light comes ...
    Americans:-"oh flashlight!!!"

  • Vo So
    Vo So 3 days ago

    You know, it's that kind of *sly* humor that England was known for. Hmmm... Well, I had higher hopes for English humor.

  • Ryan
    Ryan 3 days ago

    Ligue 1 comedian

  • Frank
    Frank 4 days ago +1

    Americans don't understand why this unfunny cunt is still on tv.

  • Aidan Curtis
    Aidan Curtis 4 days ago +2

    He's so unfunny jesus. By far the most overrated comedian of all time

    • The Joker
      The Joker 2 days ago +2

      Aidan Curtis you’re probably a triggered American

  • Patrick Edwards
    Patrick Edwards 5 days ago

    The British call an elevator a ‘lift”

    • Proscriptus
      Proscriptus 4 days ago +2

      Elevator is also descriptive. You are being elevated.

  • Zaherul Huda
    Zaherul Huda 5 days ago

    He copied these off Jeremy Clarkson 🤣

  • Cman8900
    Cman8900 5 days ago +1

    Can’t hear y’all over there on a island the size of Michigan with a failing economy.

    • PCmasterRacist
      PCmasterRacist 3 days ago

      Haha butt hurt yank cant take a joke.

    • Memes Memes
      Memes Memes 5 days ago

      your economy is also fucked mate, rich get richer while the poor get poorer

  • Rebecca Wright
    Rebecca Wright 6 days ago +1

    Squash and racketball are different sports with different rules!😂

  • alex unger
    alex unger 6 days ago

    American english does have lots of descriptive words. It really feels like they need instructions. And I think it's because of this need for descriptive words that their comedy sucks.

  • Cheech & Chong
    Cheech & Chong 8 days ago

    American English is a fake language ..... Firstly , How English and England are the both words start with the first same 3 letters Eng ..... That shud tell u there who spk the real English yanks

    • Name101
      Name101 3 days ago

      people fron Denmark dont speak Danish then since its dan not den

  • Daniel Evans
    Daniel Evans 8 days ago +1

    THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE! 🙃 I lived 9 years in the US and 10 in UK. I didn't find myself saying most of those words McIntyre was saying. I get pissed cause he makes it out as if Americans are dumb , If anything, I got better grammar education in the US than I did in the UK.
    'Waste paper basket' is specific equivalent to the British , 'paper recycling bin' Americans generally use, 'trash' for what Brits would call a 'bin'
    I moved to the UK when I was 12 and I found Brits said stuff longer too like.
    US- Phone UK- Mobile Phone
    US- Gum Uk- Chewing gum
    US-tape (contextual) UK - specific tape type everytime
    Also the American words McIntyre says bring important context. Most the time Americans would say glasses, but "eye glasses" is needed if there are cup glasses around. Ive been in the UK and had seen several situations where people have been confused because of saying glasses instead of eye glasses.
    Also 'pavement' is no different to 'side walk'. Pavement is also two combined words like "rainbow"
    "Horseback riding" might seem irrelevant today but in the day of horse and carriages it was helpful to know if someone was riding a horse with a carriage or actually riding the back of the horse, hence the term 'horseback riding'
    I know people think it's a joke but I've had people think I'm dumb or uneducated because I grew up in America😠.

    • Daniel Evans
      Daniel Evans 5 days ago

      @Memes Memes ya man!

    • Memes Memes
      Memes Memes 5 days ago

      Fucking hell someone got mad at British funny man

  • Your Conscience
    Your Conscience 9 days ago

    A sitting chair

  • Pauline Rostron
    Pauline Rostron 11 days ago

    So funny 😂 😂🤣😂

  • Study Smart
    Study Smart 12 days ago

    Michael nailed it!!😂🤣😂😁 Why the hell it ends?!!!😠

  • Elvis !
    Elvis ! 13 days ago

    American English will always be the best 🇺🇸🇺🇸🗽🗽

    • Name101
      Name101 3 days ago

      would you like some salt with your meal?

  • NubglummerySnr
    NubglummerySnr 14 days ago +1

    Today, I've just learned that the Americans have roundabout intersections on their roads, as we do in the UK and Australia. But instead of calling them roundabouts, they call them traffic circles.

    • NubglummerySnr
      NubglummerySnr 9 days ago

      @brownvirtue, here's one example:

    • brownvirtue
      brownvirtue 9 days ago

      NubglummerySnr I’m American. I’ve never heard anyone use the term traffic circles.

  • Luli Sissy
    Luli Sissy 14 days ago

    So funny, is true! Lol

  • letsseeif
    letsseeif 15 days ago

    While the rest of we ex British Empire countries, get 'English Language Humour' , Americans don't. They're literalists. "Literally. They're literalists over there. I'm Aussie & we're into irony.

  • Dee dee
    Dee dee 15 days ago +2

    I’m American let’s be honest. What he said was kind. Some items we have like six different names for the same damn thing. Lol

  • Cliff Riley
    Cliff Riley 16 days ago

    America is our neighbor to the South. And yet we are so different. Canadians love and understand English humor. The reason is simple...America burned their bridges from the past and Canada kept them but put a toll on

  • Wang Lucas
    Wang Lucas 17 days ago


  • Josephine Krebsbach
    Josephine Krebsbach 18 days ago


  • renditioners
    renditioners 18 days ago

    The difference for lovers of grammar , is that, we let people sleep on the street, especially, ex forces, and so do Americans, let the vulnerable and mentally ill sleep on the streets like animals, and the correct English is what a load of cunts, to be so indifferent, or wat a load of proper right fucking cunts, is also correct,

  • Masht Ali
    Masht Ali 19 days ago +1

    they used to put the glasses on their thighs and feet...!

  • Lexie Taylor
    Lexie Taylor 20 days ago

    Americans actually use more vocabulary words in normal speech than any other English speaking group. It’s not that are Americans are stupid, we just prefer more descriptive words and have been told slang makes us look bad for our entire life. Comparing English slang to the full American term isn’t exactly fair.

  • Needler98
    Needler98 20 days ago +24

    As an American, I want to be offended: but nothing he said was untrue

  • siva992
    siva992 20 days ago

    I also realised that Americans love to use the brand name instead of the product name. Had a American friend come to New Zealand and she was like "it's so hard to get an Instant Pot here. Like how am I gonna get my work done and not have a meal to come home too?" And I was like "you mean a pressure cooker? Why not get an electric pressure cooker that is also a multi-cooker?" And then she goes "no? I need an Ins-tant Pot! Get it?"

  • Erica Raths
    Erica Raths 22 days ago

    I’m American and agree with every bit of this. Brits are just way cooler tbh, they don’t take shit seriously like we do over here in the uptight dumbed down land of free

  • Lewis Davage
    Lewis Davage 22 days ago

    Don’t they say trash can?

  • Frost Rusher
    Frost Rusher 24 days ago

    Dumb Americans! Hahaha

  • stop Doingthat
    stop Doingthat 25 days ago

    sighhhhh... didn't laugh once :(

  • mary shaffer
    mary shaffer 25 days ago

    There's many type of baskets.

  • Cyndi Chisham Wiles
    Cyndi Chisham Wiles 26 days ago

    Spot on. Thought I'd fall out of my "easy" CHAIR (get it?) LOL

  • Fauna Bauna
    Fauna Bauna 27 days ago


  • Nabhoneil Ghosh
    Nabhoneil Ghosh 28 days ago

    As an Indian who have grown up learning English Grammar(UK) when we heard American english, only one feedback came out i.e.

  • deniseg812
    deniseg812 28 days ago

    I say garbage Michael. I say glasses.

  • One direction is better then kpop paz

    Im America and never heard of waste paper basket

  • The Musical Lover
    The Musical Lover 29 days ago

    Well this explains my experience with this one American who was trying to hit on me. I’m European and he didn’t understand several words I said, like “prude”, “plan” and few others, he just kept repeating “what?” even when I said them slowly. I checked later and I was pronouncing them correctly, well, in the British way. It seems to me that Brits are more willing to understand you if you’re not a native speaker than Americans, might be because of the fact that they are way closer to countries that speak other languages than Americans (geographically), and that Americans have smaller vocabulary. 😂

  • Studyo Gangsta
    Studyo Gangsta Month ago

    English royalty are 1st cousin you like them apples!!?? And it's called a trash can!!

  • Kumbara Putra
    Kumbara Putra Month ago

    USA is cool man

  • Robyn Hickey
    Robyn Hickey Month ago

    I think squash & racquetball are different because 1 has a long handle and 1 a short handle.

  • Emily Choplin
    Emily Choplin Month ago

    I thought racquetball and squash were two slightly different activities? And pavement is not the same as the sidewalk, either. Pavement is the asphalt stuff roads are made of.

  • taskbar enhan
    taskbar enhan Month ago

    I put my glasses on table.

  • Paul Troy
    Paul Troy Month ago +2

    Unlike your isolated little island we have cowboys and Indians so we often have to distinguish the style of riding. cowboys ride in the saddle, and Indians ride horses ''bareback'' Hollywood wrongly shorted it to riding horse back. We see with glasses and we drink from glasses, yes we do need to make a distinction sometimes. We also say reading glasses, and for a good reason. Only offices have waste paper baskets because they're only for PAPER not rubbish. They watch our TV a little and they think they know somethingAmerica is like Goliath and every little David piss ant, think he's ten feet tall if he can find fault!

  • QualityContentEveryday

    They still play football with hands, soon they’ll figure it out and make it foot football

  • hicham wehbe
    hicham wehbe Month ago

    What about 5 Occ shadow

  • Taylor Brown
    Taylor Brown Month ago +6

    I’ve never once heard someone call it a “basket”, let alone a “waste paper basket”....

  • Joyline Flanda
    Joyline Flanda Month ago

    In America trump
    In uk fart
    Funny hahaha...

  • Jake Hargroue
    Jake Hargroue Month ago +1

    As a Texan that knows how to ride a horse I take a little offense to the horseback riding comment. I just say I'm going riding

  • James Quinn
    James Quinn Month ago

    Reading the comment sections the Americans have taken this really well lol fair play to them! Just British banter

  • lisa
    lisa Month ago

    I know an American English is very descriptive. I feel the same way as this Asian looking English man.

  • Natasha Roberts
    Natasha Roberts Month ago

    I've lived in the US for almost 14 years (about two-thirds of my life) and couldn't remember what they call a conservatory.
    It's literally sunroom. A room that gets sun is a sunroom. Wow

    • Emily Choplin
      Emily Choplin Month ago +2

      Natasha Roberts I think Americans have just opted to keep conservatory’s meaning to an institution where you learn about and practice music.

  • Maximilien Robespierre

    Still still funny

  • Anton Ramil
    Anton Ramil Month ago

    Michael is low-key dissing all the anericans and how they speak! What a legend! 😎

  • pixel girl
    pixel girl Month ago

    They also completely messed up with quote marks. In American English if you have a quote followed by a comma or full stop (i.e. "woof", said the dog), you put the comma inside the quote marks ("woof," said the dog). What is this lunacy? Is the dog saying "woof comma"? Are quote marks some kind of punctuation black hole, and anything too close to the event horizon gets sucked in? It's horrible, and makes things so much harder to read.

    • blue
      blue Month ago

      You do realise that it's the same thing in English. I can't tell if your joking or stupid, which I guess makes me stupid, but it's just common grammar. You always put punctuation before the quotation marks (not 'quote marks').