The beauty of conflict | Clair Canfield | TEDxUSU

  • Published on Dec 1, 2016
  • For many, conflict is considered a negative experience and an indication that something has gone wrong. When viewed from that perspective it frequently creates interactions that leave us feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. In this talk, Clair identifies some of the ways we get stuck in the trap of justification and also provides hope for a new way of approaching conflict. This different approach unlocks the possibilities of conflict and empowers us to create the change we want in the world around us, in our relationships, places of work, communities, and most of all within ourselves.
    Clair Canfield is a consultant and lecturer at Utah State University with degrees in Communication Studies and a graduate certification in alternative dispute resolution.

    Initially inspired by his own struggles with conflict, Clair is committed to changing the way people think and feel about conflict. “Conflict holds up a mirror to our deepest needs and most cherished hope and it is the doorway of opportunity for creating the change we want in our life,” Clair stated. “It is common to feel trapped and stuck when we experience conflict, but there is a way out!”
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 43

  • jazmine fantaz
    jazmine fantaz 29 days ago

    Please someone answer these questions
    What does VOCAB stand for and how you use it in your personal life?

  • FlamSelk
    FlamSelk Month ago

    120k views 1.1k likes??????????

  • Jeff J. Cunningham
    Jeff J. Cunningham 2 months ago +1

    How do I get in touch with this guy? Would love for him to be a guest on my podcast / channel / feed where we inspire others always on my channel. Lmk!

  • Victoria Gonzalez
    Victoria Gonzalez 2 months ago

    Watched this for a class assignment and the ending of him talking about his daughter reminded me of God, how he comes to me and comforts me when I am so stubborn. I cried. This was beautiful.

  • Max Cunningham
    Max Cunningham 2 months ago +1

    Ya yeet

  • Jaclyn H
    Jaclyn H 3 months ago +1

    Wow hearing this father talking to his bossy daughter which he then found out was being bullied made me cry. I could feel his pain in his words... wow, incredible Ted Talk...

  • Peggy Spiak
    Peggy Spiak 3 months ago

    This echoes Brene' Brown's work nicely.

  • Jew Shirls
    Jew Shirls 5 months ago +2

    Hug it out, sing and dance together

  • Sam
    Sam 7 months ago

    he is hot

  • Seunghee Ha
    Seunghee Ha 8 months ago +4

    Thank you for sharing your personal story and what you found from the experience. It surely touched many hearts and souls since we all have had those stuck times in our life.
    I am working on it to speak fluent my VOCAB. Thanks : ) I hope you and your daughter stayed together strong through the hard time. I hope she is doing great at school and be respected and loved by people she meets. God bless you and your family.

  • Yvonne Okeyo
    Yvonne Okeyo 9 months ago

    Very educative talk

  • macarena fernandez lauretta

    how do i get it in spanish? does anyone know? so i can show it to my friends and family

    • Tony Q
      Tony Q 27 days ago

      You can also click settings and have it auto-translate the subtitles to spanish. It won't be perfect, but it could help.

    • jazmine fantaz
      jazmine fantaz 29 days ago

      translate it on your own...:(

  • Loren Peck
    Loren Peck Year ago +1

    So good. I was so lucky to have discovered the communication degree at USU. These professors are amazing.

  • Art Shaman
    Art Shaman Year ago


  • d8d8
    d8d8 Year ago +2

    So the kid won when it came to the hair pretties. lol

  • Leslie Kazadi
    Leslie Kazadi Year ago +1

    clapping at home! so sweet and so helpful!

  • Carol Lai
    Carol Lai Year ago +2

    That was great! The ending is so good omg

  • wu Ally
    wu Ally Year ago +2


  • Monica Leon-Baker
    Monica Leon-Baker Year ago +1

    very eye-opening.

    CRICKETATTAXmasterz Year ago +2


  • Yasin
    Yasin Year ago +11

    One of the best TED talks I've ever seen. Definitely deserves more attention.

  • Safar De Bon
    Safar De Bon Year ago +20

    The three pillars of CONFLICT
    1. When its about the dishes, its not about the dishes
    2. We can get stuck - the seduction of justification
    3. The art of speaking resposibly - like learning a new language
    V ulnerability
    O wnership
    C ommunication
    A cceptance
    B oundaries
    Conflict can be the engine of rejuvenation and creating better versions of ourselves! Amazing conversation

  • Amir Jackson
    Amir Jackson Year ago +2

    Nicely done.

  • Mert Tekyurt
    Mert Tekyurt Year ago +2

    Burdan elif ozguvenc hocama selamlar yolluyorum

    • TheOfficer
      TheOfficer 10 months ago

      :D :D yahu cevapları bari yazsaydınız :D

  • 黃盈達
    黃盈達 Year ago +1


  • Youssef Dirani
    Youssef Dirani 2 years ago +1

    I like this guy...

  • Michael Scott Peters
    Michael Scott Peters 2 years ago +3

    Great insights.

  • Yusuf MAZ
    Yusuf MAZ 2 years ago +3

    Burdan bu konuşmayı bize izlettiği içün duygu hocaya teşekkürlerimi iletiyorum. One of the best TED talk that i watched!

  • Yigit Kocak
    Yigit Kocak 2 years ago +8

    Duygu Guntek hocamiza sevgiler. ENG102 Sec.87 Kimler burada begenin bakalim :D :D

  • Eric Hamilton
    Eric Hamilton 2 years ago +31

    I have so much respect for Claire. One of my first professors at college, still of one of my all time favorites. There was a day when class got cancelled, and I ran into him in a hallway and we ended up talking for 45 min just as friends about the things in this video. Total mentor and a great guy

    • caszr2y
      caszr2y 10 months ago +1

      Good thing you are friends or he might be offended by you misspelling his name.

  • Brandi M
    Brandi M 2 years ago +4

    I could listen to Clair talk for hours! He was one of my favorite professors of all time.

  • Devan Davis
    Devan Davis 2 years ago +6

    Wow that was amazing! This defiantly made it into my top 10 favorite TED talks!

    • Bee Good
      Bee Good 3 months ago

      I like your choice of words!

    • Ro M
      Ro M Year ago +1

      Amazing! Please share your other 9. Thank you!