PetsTalk Holidays
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- Published on Nov 25, 2019
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Visit www.audible.com/zefrank or text zefrank to 500 500. Pets & Animals
Zefrank should narrate books himself. he's got such a soothing voice
This man is perfect to narrate Terry Pratchett books,
Think about the odd tangents he used to throw in, it's a match made in The Disc World,
@long yarn Is that necessarily a *bad* thing?
He should also narrate his own life. That's how zefrank do.
@EXTRA DIMENSION - Right? Oy! Cats think we're such bad hunters, but run out of their favorite canned food just once and you're public enemy number one! 😿😾
The line about moments in life being like ornaments till you step back was unexpectedly profound
I came to say this exact thing.
Dazzling💞
Completely captured my imagination and my heart.
@Steven Victor Neiman The man is a treasure.
"It's like the tree. All the ornaments of your life can be small, but if you can step back and look at them all together, they can be quite dazzling"
Damn. I really like that
"And dazzling is a very weird word"
*I Felt That too*
"Imagine being decapitated, getting decorated with wierd objects, slowly suffering at others' amusement, and then getting thrown out like trash about a month later, because that is how a Christmas Tree do."
@GalacticGODdess 888: Think of the fact that Christmas tree farms keep land out of development, as well as returning oxygen to the air, & making homes for animals. And they are renewed by new plantings.
@Exalted Nevaeh: But they do not have a nervous system, so though they may emit a noise, they don’t feel pain!
Daughter Speaking: Have you ever watched the movie "The Happening"? That the killing chemical was coming from the Plants? I'm thinking this is their reason.
@GalacticGODdess 888 preach it my sistah!!!!!! People NEED to wake up to all the things that trees give us, GIVE us!! Nothing asked in return other than plain ole R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!! I still miss the Queen darn it!!!!!!
Trees not only give us the oxygen we kinda need to uhhhh....live? They also give us such beautiful things like what is seasonal currently, CHERRIES!!!!! Peaches, apples, grapefruit, pears, plums, etc. etc.....
Then they give shade, warmth, shelter, furniture, instruments, rubber, cork, erosion protection, the list is literally never ending!!!!! As you can probably guess, I'm a very proud tree hugger and an avid woodworker for 30 years now! I've seen some woods that were so beautiful it made tears come!
@Faith Martinez That's OK I'm sure many people have fake ones...Most people have faked one at one time.
I can relate to the idea of my pets secretly being really judgmental of me. Like, I once apologized to my cat for not wearing a bra.
@Nancy Chivers read it again slowly
Wait, you got after your cat for not wearing a bra? 😜
There are only four people qualified to narrate my life:
1) Morgan Freeman for introspective moments
2) Zefrank for my conscious
3) David Attenborough for exposition and narration
4) Samuel L. Jackson when I lose my shit
Hans Zimmer would compose the score.
I'm thinking, now hear me out......Gilbert Gottfried
Samuel L. Jackson for all of my life, no matter the situation LOL
BAM!
What we all have in common is that we all want samuel L. jackson to narrate us losing shit
Nice.
For real though, I can highly recommend “Will my Cat Eat my Eyeballs” by Caitlin Doughty. It’s a hilarious book. She’s a mortician and advocate for normalizing death. The book is her answers to real questions children have asked her.
We normalized 3000 people dying a day from covid. A fall day in September my senior year in HS some planes crashing into 2 buildings killed around that number and it fundamentally changed the future landscape of everyone alive on earth. How about instead or normalizing death we normalize eating the ones who want us peasants to either kill or die for their precious stock market?
😸😸😸😸😸😸
@Kristine Congram Maybe that’s the next in the series 🤔 (or your computer was trying to warn you 😳)
Hello, fellow deathling!
“Just a blur of colorful lights, then you wake up in the new year.”
Yeah, my holidays every single year. I feel you, cat.
An Accessory to Mordor I can’t decide if this is a Ze line. If not, I’m a bartender....you might not survive. 🤘🏻👻
CP200S 1:41
@L The colorful blinking lights... the cat said that in the video. Merry Xmas!
EXACTLY! I ROTFLMAO@ THAT!!
Hey now it's legal
This is what the movie “Pets” shouldve been
It’s not too late for a new version!
Yep
Agree. They advertised as pets at home and what do they do. Then all this angry, down in sewer. Bait and switch!!!!😵😵😵
💯😂
Jake
Especially the second movie that was supposed to be about pets going to therapy or whatever
“It’s like the tree, all the ornaments of your life can be small, but if you took a step back and looked at them all together, they can be dazzling”
I needed that, thanks
Was reading this just as the video played it.
I needed it too. Just didn't know it till it happened.
*To understand animals, imagine they had distinct and hilarious personalities all voiced by a strangely soothing disembodied man who seem to enjoy saying "Bebes" a little too much. That, is how ZeFrank do.*
😺😺😺😺😺😺
Wonderful comment and so true!!!
Don’t forget about “byerds”!
Michael McDoesn'tExist I like these because it’s my language
you just summed up why i love this guy. soothing voice to listen to (about as good as david attenborough), hilarious pesonalities/names for the animal (including a specific name for the "idiot" of a species), funny usage of the word "bebes", constantly funny mentioning a creature's "butt" even if there is a more accurate term to use, and his final phrase of "that, is how (someone's name) do".
"Seriously? You're gonna do this right now? During the interview? I'm sorry, he's a bit of a 'humper.' Sure, it gets a little awkward at the Holiday parties - I lean over to get an hors d'oeuvre and, suddenly, my head's bobbing like I'm skiing moguls. But that's what Holiday parties are; a chance to come together and see that everyone can be an idiot."
😂😂😂
That, it's how a zefrank deuwr.
"don"t worry honey, its not going on the internet" ROFLOL! you are too much zefrank, a gift to the world!
If this guy and Ozzyman were ever to meet up I think the world might just stop until they worked on something together!
I love the book Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? by Caitlyn Doughty. Hope one day there will be an Ask a Mortician/ZeFrank collab.
“a very slow tattoo or random bloody dots” lol
"All the ornaments of your life can be small. But if you can step back and look at them all together, they can be quite dazzling"
Dude, that's fucking beautiful.
@Polo Mare it’s not unexpected if you watch his old content… most of his old content is all sentimental
@Peculiar Person not as much as the phrase "it's kind of cliche".
I was going to say the same!
Bro... that was deep.... I haven't heard something that deep in a long time like... 2005 in Iraq... wow...
@Peculiar Person There's such a thing as a valid cliché. Sometimes, something becomes cliché because it's as close to as a universal truth as something can get it before it becomes scientific fact.
In other words, to invoke the word "cliché" is not really a meaningful commentary on any other adjectives that one might want to attribute to a thought or observation -- it can co-exist with other adjectives, such as "beautiful," and both be true at the same time.
Tinsel: “the corn kernel of Christmas ornaments,” LOL!
"Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs" by Caitlyn Doughty is awesome. Everyone should listen to it/ read it
@India Chariton sort of sounds like "Catt" Lyn, so I assumed it was an author nickname. Then learned that it wasn't.
@İsm Ata Why is the name Caitlyn so shocking?
Yes. I love her work and her.
@İsm Ata enjoy!
That's.... 🤨😲
Reality is better than movies some say. I shall look at her channel. 👍 Thank you 😆🙋🤣🥰
Dear Kitten: here are all the things we couldn't air on the official commercial.
Thanks for referencing "Dear Kitten" a year before I did! +12 Interwebz!
When you mentioned "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs"... My kitten bit my nose.
He's either working up to it, or I have a defective cat.
😹
Always worth watching. I hope there is many more to come and enjoy. We like to sit at the table as a family and watch together while having snacks whenever we see a new video we call each other so we watch together. Thanks for bringing us together through laughter.
The funny thing is, I actually read The Art of Racing in the Rain back in May after my 13-year-old dog died. And last week I was reading two chapters of Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs. ♡♡♡ And oh happy holidays Zefrank!
I love feline eyes & the way they move their tails. They are so fun to watch.
This just proves my point that cats have awesome thoughts.
That line about orniments of dazzling.
So deep.
Also, wow, we are SO mean to trees, I never realized the thing about the pressents before
The cat makes a valid point about tree torture. I give him a pass with the mice.
@Ban this youtube Also, another thing I'd like to add....slave and child labor is used to mine the rare earth minerals that go into making those EV batteries. And the manufacturing of those batteries has a higher "carbon footprint" than manufacturing and driving around an ICE or hybrid car. So, you have those liberal Karens and Kens shrieking about their BLM wokeness, yet they drive their Tesla, which contains materials mined with slave labor. By the way, I also plant perennials for the bees. I live in Ohio, and right now, all sorts of native bee species are going crazy for the coneflowers. I confess that I do use herbicides like Ortho Grass-B-gone and Roundup. But I minimize their use, and I don't use them anywhere near flowering plants. I figure that the benefits of controlling invasive nonnative weeds outweighs any negatives from using a limited amount of herbicides.
@hamsterama where do you think they "grow more" they slash and burn down in south America. It is environmentally unstable. Its not like I can go the farm store and magic me up some more usable land. So its a vicious cycle they feel good for eating vegan......which causes environmental damage on an obscene level so those lose the warm fuzzy they had. So now they rage against climate change... . ..even though ......they are part of the problem. I just read an article on electric vehicles and those who buy them. 70% of EV's are on the used lot within 2 years. Traded in by Quinoa munching vegans who realised going green isn't easy. "It takes to long to charge", "not enough chargers in the city", "i can't take it out of town". So they go back to internal combustion......so much for going green. I dont use pesticides or herbicides in my yard and garden, grow my own veggies by hand. I grow sustainable perennials for the local bee populations and allow the dandelions to grow in my yard during the spring as they are a primary food source for emerging bee populations. I weed by hand and do everything with the sweat of my brow and toil of my own back because I used to qork for a regulatory lab and saw first hand what companies like dupont and dupont were like behind the scenes......scummy. My way is more work but I can look in the mirror knowing that I am doing my part for mother nature. A billion fake smalls are no match for a thousand real ones.
@Carey Roberts venture Brothers made a joke about that when one of the characters comes back as a ghost and is talking qith his friend " no everything has a soul even plants".
Funniest part lol
That was the most local thing ive heard lol
I absolutely love everything Zefrank creates. He is such a hilarious, smart, and creative person.
There's something strangely addictive about this voice. I could listen to "cats thoughts" all day.
I love your sense of humor!! ... And the way you've captured the "voices" AND what they're thinking in each clip
You know, I can watch these multiple times and still cry laughing. Like face-crumply, stomach-crampy, tears-in-your-eyes kind of laughing. Man . . . thank you. 🥰
"That's what holiday parties are. A chance to come together and see that everyone is an idiot"
I FELT that.
An old friend of mine referred to holidays, weddings, funerals, and reunions as FFT. Forced Family Time.
While dressing for these events you also vow to adopt your best behavior and refrain from expressing your true thoughts. But just like a button that pops off or a zipper that will not stay zipped, your mouth flies open and some derogatory, sarcastic thought escapes via the oral cavity of your face. Anyone within hearing distance suddenly disappears and magically manifest on the opposite side of the room. This is a god time to excuse yourself from the event saying that you have some other obligation. Or you can stay, dig an even deeler hole and hope that you done get an invitation to the next gathering.
LOL
agreed
@Stephanie Logan What? Someone corrected the misquote. There's a big difference between "everyone IS an idiot" and "everyone CAN BE an idiot". Because not everyone is stupid at all times.
Wait... isn't that just what life is?
My cat did the tinsel thing. I'll never forget the look on her face when I pulled it lol!!😂😂😂
A slow tattoo of random bloody dots, 💯 what it's like having a cat
Absolutely LOVE these vids man! You are the GOAT!! I laugh my ass off every time! Keep rockin' it!
Didn't know that "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs" is an actual book. Thanks, ZeFrank.
You're like Pink Guy's saner big brother.
zefrank should get a literary award for writing the scripts alone. a brilliant man and a brilliant mind.
I feel like at some point halfway through, this stopped being about the Holidays and just became "More Zefrank riffs on animal footage", and that's honestly exactly what I'm subscribed for.
Also, I legitimately got sad again when you plugged The Art of Racing in the Rain. Goddamn that book was wonderful.
This made my day. You knocked it out of the park.
Everyone is asleep and here I am laughing by myself with this hilarious video!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐾🐾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I love that you're giving Caitlin Doughty's book a shout out.
I'm not sure ze remembers how he got into this madness.
it's like he is a meme of a meme of a dream he once had.
"the classics, like 'the art of racing in the rain,' or 'a dog's purpose,' or 'will my cat eat my eyeballs?' "
that's the line that made me scream! lol
Even years after he stopped doing "A Show", he still finds ways to sneak in his wise and inspiring life lessons (like the ornament analogy at the end) into these funny videos. No matter how often he uploads, I'll treasure every video he puts out until this platform's inevitable death.
“It’s like a tree, all the ornaments may seem small, but if you take a step back and look at it all, they can seem quite dazzling.” I felt that
I love that saying.
@StrawHatRain yeah it kinda makes sense since he could make a quite "intriguing" metaphor in the past videos. lol
WildRon I’m pretty sure ze has a degree in philosophy
Right?!?!?! Quite a lovely thought!
something that i wasn't expecting to hear from Zefrank but i actually need it.
What a delightful early present from zefrank1!
*Listening to him IS my Christmas music!*
Dear ZeFrank, please never stop posting these glorious videos. *_"True Facts"_* being the bests ones overall...
Thanks for all of 'em!
I smile at everything zefrank does. That’s how zefrank do.
I keep looking at my cat and wondering what wisdom she has to impart. This is only our second holiday season together.
"...sure, it gets a little awkward at the holiday parties, I lean over to get an hors d'oeuvre, and suddenly my head's bobbing like I'm skiing moguls." I just died!!! 🤣
I love how it goes from funny and goofy, to making you have a deep realization about your life.
I'm so glad I found this channel. I miss my cats so much.... this eases the pain... XOXOXO
02:56- "All the ornaments of your life..." This is pretty profound actually.. A beautiful and thoughtful notion... Now if only I could learn to stand back and appreciate them...
"and they keep it alive like this for like a month before they toss it on the street, its so hard core" made me laugh
Cute little dog at 1:19 looks like he has wings growing out of his head...could be cast in a story of Christmas play, lol
You just made my whole holiday season. Hope someone does the same for you, man.
How sweet, each animal is adorable and endearing
I have laughed until my stomach hurts at these videos. As a cat owner, and former dog owner, these videos are dead on. 😂😂😂
An unexpected find at 7:35am on a Wednesday six months into a global pandemic. I can't remember the last thing that made me laugh like that.
Who else feels compelled to stay through the commercial in the end.
This is awesome! My Aunt's cat once ate a roll of ribbon & had to pass it like the 1st story. Priceless!
Thank you for finally doing another one of these on my most favorite topic. Cats! You are totally hilarious! 🤣
That was freaking great !!! And what a voice you've got. Thanks for sharing this.
I'm a huge fan of pets that speak.
I’m so happy you are popping out more content. You are one of my favorite creators.
"a very slow tattoo of random dots" is exactly how making biscuits feels.
But it's so cute and lovey!
The cat talkin about a christmas tree had me dying, Ze Frank is a genius
Best one 😂😂😂😂
This makes me laugh at two AM! Good to have house pets.
“When was the last time I blinked?” Would also be a fitting line for the old The Show episodes where Ze talks to the camera.
I love how these pets are so interchangeable with actual people
Zefrank is a genius and never fails to bring laughter to the masses
1:30 But that's what holiday parties are, a chance to come together and see that everybody can be an idiot.
I feel better about myself now
The tinsel story really hit home 😂 happened with our family cat when I was a kid. No tinsel in the Christmas tree since then...
Hooray! Shout out to Caitlyn Daughtery "Will my cat eat my eyeballs" is a real book!
i am in awe of the scripting - have to ration watching these videos and savor them
Funny he should mention "Will my cat eat my eyeballs?" I just started listening to that on audible. Im a huge fan of Ask a Mortician! Hooray, Caitlin!
@The Creepoid
HAH! A cross-over, "now you might see a bright light, and that probably is a better place for you than haunting your neighbor's dog, Bill." Ba dhum pshhh
Lorem Ipsum It’s called Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
I came to the comments to upvote the Caitlin shout out! Lol
Im so happy im not the only deathling here ❤
Mythi Kagnuuu have you joined the order?? I did!
All the dogs are referred to as "Hes" and all the cats are "Shes". Totally legit.
I'm so happy to see you flourish again. Your videos and website have been inspiring, comforting and entertaining me for years
“Like Sisyphus, I am bound to hell.”
🤣🤣
This one made my stomach hurt from
laughing.
ZeFrank... I quite love how you do, what you do. Your sponsor ads play like end-credit scenes man...LOL
"Like this, like what's happening right now, feels like fast acupuncture. Or... like I'm just getting a really slow tattoo of just random bloody dots"
Anyone whose had a cat knead the shit out of their chest can relate. 😂😂😂
@Romeoslover and twice the status
Two cats, twice the knead.
Oh yes. My nightly breast exam. Usually that includes the armpits and sides. Miss Sammy is the best masseuse in town.
Mine kneads my neck.... so I'd have a really badass neck tat lol
that's beautiful, dude. I'm gonna step back and look at the ornaments this year. x
Dazzling is a weird word but the words before it are…well, dazzling. Thank you Ze via cat.
"Will my cat eat ny eyeballs"
Is actually some quality content.
The author is also a very good TheXvidr.
2:29 that cat was speaking facts
"My head bobbing like I'm skiing moguls"
Damn, there would have been dozens of filthy images you could have used but this is ZeFrank and he has standards so he comes up with the best one I've heard in a while!!
Yep! I laughed on that one
YeeSoest 🤣🤣🤣🤣wool that’s vivid, ain’t it!
I honestly feel like animals talk through you lol
Man I need to replace anything I have with a voice with zefranks
Imagine Amazon -Alexa- *zefrank*
@clay owlglass His voice would be great for a satnav as well.
imagine star trek computer zefrank
And that is how Despacito do.
I’m already buying it now, so they can have funds for this.
EDIT: And make him be a voice for Siri. Giving directions and talking back when I look stuff up. 🔥🔥
YAAAASSSS.
I love your funny videos.
I’d also like to say: I think your videos where you talk about life are pretty good too
I love the first cat and dog being married, fits so well.
Damn did i just ship a dog and cat
2:29 zefrank hitting us with a hidden inspirational speech
“A Dog’s Purpose” I love those books 🥰
You’re such an incredible writer. I’ve watched this video so many times!
Lol yay will my cat eat my eyeballs!! I love the lady who wrote that book! She’s awesome.
Beautifully done, HILARIOUS! Thank you and happy holidays!
"He's a humper." Best line! 😂
"I lean over to get and ordorve and all of a sudden my heads bobbing" lol 🤣
Really? I hear it all the time. When people think I can't hear what they're saying.
God zefrank is such a good channel. I always laugh at whatever he posts, and he’s been doing this since I was in fucken middle school. Granted he did drop off for a few years, but i always rewatched his past uploads. Thank you Zefrank, you made my childhood a little bit more bearable
I love ze Frank's voice sooooo much! It is soothing and deep. Love it.
Not gonna lie, the life speech one of the cats made was actually kind of beautiful.
Love it. Don't know what I'd do without your voice and these delightful narrations of wonderous things. Thank you. Merry meow Meow.
That cat can make a lot of money doing tattoos
Somewhere, there's a hipster paying top dollar for this.
Is u like the new justin y
@Lauren Moore damnit you beat me to it.
*Cattoos*
Please let zefrank read the "Night Before Christmas" just one time. It would be a great gift for behbehs.
I want every advertisement to be conveyed in a calm voice while the video shows sleepy pups