The Morning Routine Machine | Joseph's Machines

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  • Published on Feb 7, 2021
  • My friend Giselle is always running late for work in the morning, so I'm making her a machine that does her entire morning routine... from bed! It washes her face, applies moisturizer and covers her whole face in makeup at once. Will she like it?
    Support me on PATREON: www.patreon.com/josephsmachines
    ► Welcome to my channel! I am an inventor of useless machines.
    ► Subscribe so that you never miss a new one! bit.ly/2vVFVQe
    Music is by the Jews Brothers Band, track "Bulgar" (the singer is my mother!) Please support them by buying their track: bit.ly/2cQZ9w3
    Website: josephsmachines.com
    Facebook: josephsmachines
    Instagram: josephsmach...
    Twitter: josephsmachines
    JOSEPH'S MACHINES solve everyday problems using familiar objects in unfamiliar ways. He creates them in his apartment in Brooklyn, New York.
    Created by Joseph Herscher
    Starring Giselle Rafful
    Edited by Nicolas Adrian Recalde
  • EntertainmentEntertainment

Comments • 1 414

  • Ciara Paisley
    Ciara Paisley Year ago +520

    This seems a lot harder then my normal morning routine

  • Lyla TEA
    Lyla TEA Year ago +626

    This guy is quite literally shaping the future-

  • doenel
    doenel Year ago +903

    The first face washer is perfect if you don't want to get up.

    • Howard Kim
      Howard Kim 14 hours ago

      EVER... LOL

    • O Jam
      O Jam Month ago +1

      also, he looks like a flower

    • NotAKitten
      NotAKitten 2 months ago

      Yes

    • Vivan Maji 2D
      Vivan Maji 2D 2 months ago

      If it was with cold water then what would happen

    • ying
      ying 2 months ago

      Ooooo😮😃😃😃😃😃😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

  • Kanishka Vyas
    Kanishka Vyas Year ago +209

    Can we appreciate...his hardwork...😊❣

  • Soup
    Soup Year ago +308

    Joseph: Gets abused by a mop trying to rub in moisturizer-
    Also Joseph: ItS pErfEct

    • Aileen Durac
      Aileen Durac 2 months ago

      @ShifanzzP RFMFJFJRKR

    • enigma
      enigma 6 months ago +5

      @ShifanzzP the synchronisation of time with those epic fails lmao-

    • Arfan Eka Diandra
      Arfan Eka Diandra 6 months ago +3

      well it's certainly better than a rubber hand

    • ShifanzzP
      ShifanzzP 11 months ago +5

      1:00 2:00 3:00 4:00 5:00 6:00 7:00 8:00

  • CTB Videos
    CTB Videos Year ago +9

    Great entertainment, great machines and great comedy! Joseph, you're the one person the world needs right now.

  • mohita rathore
    mohita rathore Year ago +387

    Him: you don’t want to get the bed soaking wet
    39 seconds later

    • JetBloxian
      JetBloxian Year ago +1

      @ummlol ok exactly

    • ummlol ok
      ummlol ok Year ago

      @Alex playz minecraft wth

    • Alex playz minecraft
      Alex playz minecraft Year ago +1

      @Untypical -e dammmmmm boy 👦 💙 ♥ 😍 ❤ ✨ 👦 💙 ♥ 😍 ❤ ✨ 👦 💙 ♥ 😍 ❤ ✨ 👦 💙

    • Untypical -e
      Untypical -e Year ago +2

      @Juniper Russ guess i’ll
      *drown*

  • Moose Marchi
    Moose Marchi Year ago +5

    Hey Joseph! I really love your videos and have a suggestion for something in the future! Maybe try making a machine that is re-usable and doesn’t have to be reset (maybe resets itself?)

  • KPOPHOLIC
    KPOPHOLIC Year ago +406

    Lol rubbing moisturiser yourself is better than getting slapped in the face by a rubber hand with extreme pressure 😂

    • YA1050G Æ
      YA1050G Æ 3 months ago

      Ikr

    • nobody
      nobody 10 months ago +1

      army

    • Tom Cowley
      Tom Cowley 10 months ago

      Please cite the academic study and data that supports your hypothesis.

    • The Holy Crusader
      The Holy Crusader Year ago +5

      Power not pressure, pressure is corresponded with psi air or water pressure, power is the correct word just the grammar police helping you out

    • Evie O
      Evie O Year ago +2

      Lol

  • get in
    get in Year ago +15

    YES, you DO look pretty Joseph, pretty hilarious. You're worth a million laughs.

  • Polixzz
    Polixzz Year ago +338

    When the balloon popped and he screamed I just died of laughter

    • Nams Loves Flowers
      Nams Loves Flowers 7 months ago +1

      SAME XDDDDDDD

    • Sania Sharma
      Sania Sharma 9 months ago +2

      1:43

    • Tyler Edwards
      Tyler Edwards 9 months ago

      YEAH IT WAS SO FUNNY LAST TIME I SAW IT I KILLED MYSELF

    • U SUCK AT DRAWING
      U SUCK AT DRAWING 10 months ago

      what timeline?

    • Ckinggaming5 Bucket Madness
      Ckinggaming5 Bucket Madness 11 months ago +3

      @happy kids ghostly powers of course,through use of a Rube Goldberg machine that detects the ghost of a certain person,then starts the actual Rube Goldberg machine which typed out the entire comment

  • NettGaming
    NettGaming 6 months ago

    The things he does for his subscribers are just amazing

  • Mothinajamjar
    Mothinajamjar Year ago +4

    Idk who this guy is, but I’m so glad TheXvid recommended his channel to me 😄
    These are some Wallace and Grommit level inventions 😂😭😭

  • itsthe11
    itsthe11 Year ago +1

    How this doesn't have 25 million views is amazing.
    The comedy timing is perfect.

  • ♡︎Aʀɪɪɪ♡︎

    i love how the sponge in the face wash machine is shaped like a flower😂😂

  • Micajo Domino
    Micajo Domino Year ago +4

    Definitely one of your funniest videos yet! Great job :)

  • Kellan The Incredible

    2:56 is something I could watch all day and not get tired of 🤣😂

  • IT THE Rap MASTER

    Seems to be way more more work than a normal morning routine

  • Morx
    Morx Year ago +38

    When the ballon popped I laughed so hard 😂

  • Catherine Upton
    Catherine Upton Year ago

    Thank you for giving me several good laughs this morning!

  • Priya Sanjeev
    Priya Sanjeev Year ago

    Oh man, this is one awesome guy. I love his experiments. He'S gOt To Be A sOn Of HePhAeStUs! JK but, great going, Joseph!!

  • Savita Painuli
    Savita Painuli Year ago +69

    Joseph : I am preety ?
    .
    .
    Camera man : this what my wife says😂😂😂😂

  • Rachel Wu
    Rachel Wu Year ago

    My favorite TheXvid channel! Always like the funny parts

  • Ismael Molina
    Ismael Molina Year ago +1

    Sooo cool 😍 love it!

  • wVw weekend video watch 2022

    Joesph you're always amazing. i love all your videos. this one was so fun. the truck with sponge made me anxious. 321. 5:39 lol. you're a funny guy Joesph

  • Tiktok Videos
    Tiktok Videos Year ago +1

    This is so fun i love it🥰

  • David Chang
    David Chang 11 months ago

    You are a genius pal. Pls carry on making all these wacky and useless tools. U really save my day. 😂👍🤣

  • Dr Prof
    Dr Prof 29 days ago +1

    This guy is just a redstone pro in real life XD

  • H5 Domino Community

    it keeps getting wackier and I am 100% here for it 😂

  • BullseyeProductionsTV
    BullseyeProductionsTV Year ago +322

    This certainly is easier than doing it all by hand...

    • Cal
      Cal Month ago

      Jesus christ do people actually think this is made for practical use

    • Shannon Davis
      Shannon Davis Month ago

      say mums

    • Cassidy Cummings
      Cassidy Cummings Year ago +1

      And more efficient too 😂😂

    • Logan Clarke
      Logan Clarke Year ago

      Yeah but the preportation isnt

    • aquafurrie
      aquafurrie Year ago

      But then you you would have to set it up again and build it

  • Rachit Bhatt
    Rachit Bhatt Year ago

    Boss: Morgan, tomorrow's a meeting in early morning, so I would like you to don't sleep at night if possible.
    Morgan: Calls Joseph.
    Joseph: Makes machine.
    Morgan: Thank you.
    Joseph: Don't worry. I was with you & my machine whole night. I saw everything.

  • Ananya Ani
    Ananya Ani Year ago +2

    These machines would be of great help to the handicapped...👍👍

  • Princess kadee
    Princess kadee 11 months ago

    8:04 lmao
    The machines are quite nice but geez this is funny😂😂,goodwork Joseph😄

  • sarangimariajohn
    sarangimariajohn Year ago +42

    The way that machine applying moisturizer😂😂😂Lmao😆

  • jana Aburabia
    jana Aburabia Year ago

    Y’all if you need an engineer you got to get this guy to make whatever you need to make

  • Lisa Wang
    Lisa Wang Year ago +12

    It feels like watching a horror movie at the first time when it really starts, but ended a comedy! Did any one says that you remind me of Sheldon in “Big Bang”? Well done!

  • Ruby Harris
    Ruby Harris Year ago +50

    7:40 can’t stop laughing lmao

  • Tricky Life
    Tricky Life Year ago +2

    Awesome and crazy as always!
    1:11 you didnt want the bed to get soaked? Hm... ;D
    Actually im going to use a rotating disco ball in my machine, too. Its already built!

  • azurecielo52479
    azurecielo52479 Year ago

    Waterboarding would definitely wake me up!!! No more missed morning calls! 🙃🤣

  • Joel Robles Acosta
    Joel Robles Acosta Year ago +4

    When he screamed when the balloon popped made me laugh so hard

  • The Chessimist
    The Chessimist Year ago +6

    congrats joseph, you are the first person to read out the names of your patron supporters while having makeup removed by a kinda terrifying wet drill mop rigamajig.

  • Lucia Macfie
    Lucia Macfie 10 months ago +1

    When he said “ I obviously have to put on my eyebrow protectors” in the video it made so much sense but if you heard it out of context you would be so confused! :)

  • A FFTFOMSICHTS
    A FFTFOMSICHTS Year ago +9

    I always laugh so hard during these

  • The Compliment Guy

    Basically "Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs in real life" portrayed by Joseph's Machines! Well done!

  • Izzai
    Izzai Year ago

    I just love the fact that he has spare hands for the routine machine 🤣

  • The Circle
    The Circle 11 months ago +1

    The second moisturizer rubber inner is also known as the slap-o-matuc

  • TheXcluzif78
    TheXcluzif78 Year ago

    This one was so hilarious thanks a lot

  • Wizolf
    Wizolf Year ago

    SALUTE TO THIS GUY HIS CREATIVE 👌

  • MARTIAN
    MARTIAN 9 months ago

    Setting up all that isn't easy, he is a genius

  • Benjamin Schoolland

    Wow, I love that we get to see some of the prototypes before the final thing. A very unique approach!

  • Arthur Nordstrom
    Arthur Nordstrom Year ago

    joseph getting slapped in the face with a wet mop makes me laugh a little. XD

  • Keerthi menon
    Keerthi menon Year ago +1

    This video ended a bad day on a high note. Thank you for turning our down curves☹️up 😊😊😊 !!

  • Mohamed Jemsheed Jezail Marikkar

    Take my money 😂
    Awesome work🙌🏽

  • Francis Gavanes
    Francis Gavanes 11 months ago

    this is the perfect amount of genius!

  • Benjamin Thompson

    This guy makes me laugh so hard

  • EpicGamerplayz50
    EpicGamerplayz50 Year ago

    That is a perfect technology system when u are always lazy 🤣

  • leaft
    leaft Year ago +26

    I always get late for my work
    Him: and i took that personally

  • porichechannel
    porichechannel Year ago

    When he said im completly soaked... i started so laught and said what about the sponge 🤣

  • The TwinsTube Gang

    Amazing machines❤️

  • Aditi Dutt
    Aditi Dutt Year ago

    The way he says "wow, it's perfect"... ❤️❤️😂

  • Dendrophile🌳🌳
    Dendrophile🌳🌳 Year ago +2

    I died laughing at makup portion...😂😂
    Actually end part is also fun

  • Chloe Ball
    Chloe Ball Year ago +1

    This was so cool. The ending was so funny

  • Ethan 683
    Ethan 683 Year ago +1

    You should make a machine that makes it so it puts your clothes in the washing machine and starts it.

  • Azfaruddin Achsanuddin

    this guy is programming irl, i wonder how long until he makes a turing complete device

  • nisa hasan
    nisa hasan Year ago

    I choked on my food when the moisturizer hit his face😂😂

  • Alex Folland
    Alex Folland Year ago +56

    Jeez, the spoilers at the beginning are brutal. I was looking forward to discovering all the funny stuff from watching it go. Thanks for the cool machine video! I love your videos! I just wish you would explain it all at the end instead of the beginning.

    • Long Trương Tấn
    • CTB Videos
      CTB Videos Year ago

      @Jdjd Xu I - I'm sorry, can you write that in English? Google Translate only outputs "Nintendo Nintendo Nintendo"

    • Jdjd Xu
      Jdjd Xu Year ago

      ضلمقحقنثنقننثنيهنصمسنبايشب ها حبيبي

  • Joannah Marie
    Joannah Marie 2 months ago

    the scene where the balloon face popped, and he jumped and said " AHH " that was really hilarious im telling ya'll

  • chenax
    chenax Year ago +5

    I always love to see your videos, keep it up :)

  • JIM LUKET
    JIM LUKET Year ago

    Love the makeup machines. 😀👍

  • Elixir
    Elixir 2 months ago

    Him: “And I’ve got this sort of sponge base frame that I made because i don’t want to get the bed soaking wet. This will catch any excess water”
    Also him: 1:17

  • Crazy chloe 2012
    Crazy chloe 2012 Year ago +7

    I died laughing cause of the wash makeup thing

  • Viswadas Naimisaranyam

    Please make some machines that everyone can do easily

  • Couchflop
    Couchflop Year ago

    1:03 watering the plants. Part of the daily routine.

  • Sticker 9090
    Sticker 9090 Year ago +2

    I love how he uses a mop as a brush

  • Maryann T
    Maryann T Year ago +1

    I think I will use some of these ideas for the "get ready your teenager for the day".

  • InfoBlues
    InfoBlues Year ago +19

    Fortunately, waking up 10 minutes early is not a challenge for me

  • druidnatury6
    druidnatury6 Year ago +12

    Wow, it actually works pretty well :D

  • 🐝ima bee🐝
    🐝ima bee🐝 Year ago

    I died at the rubber hand slapping his face lmao 😂

  • r_n g_d
    r_n g_d Year ago +1

    1:40 i like how when the baloon popped he was too scared to try it out himself

    • Maiya Foss
      Maiya Foss Year ago

      Lol ya but then I the end he let's his friend try it 🤣

  • lmdowling
    lmdowling Year ago

    Even tho the sponge didn’t work it looked like a flower that was getting watered 😊

  • Thomas Moran
    Thomas Moran Year ago +10

    A watering can pouring on my face would definitely wake me up in the morning

  • Aryan S
    Aryan S Year ago +5

    You need a level of creativity to build and assemble these types of things

  • jake watkins
    jake watkins Year ago

    I got a good belly laugh from this one

  • Muhd Ammar
    Muhd Ammar Year ago +1

    This vd make me laugh twice😂
    Btw this guy is so..cool to

  • CuriousNerdKitteh

    This guy is great! 😹

  • Amós Henrique Rocha
    Amós Henrique Rocha Year ago +45

    1930: "In the Future we wiil have flying cars"
    Future:

  • Freeway
    Freeway Year ago +213

    "Do I look pretty?" LMAO 🤣

    • Ling ai
      Ling ai Year ago

      😂😂 wait wait you forgot to do the eye flutter when he said it

    • fxria
      fxria Year ago +1

      I DIEDDD

  • Naulie Beauregard

    I can't tell if he's being serious or if he's joking 😂😂😂

  • undefined 4235
    undefined 4235 Year ago +5

    Why did you stop making videos from the "Jiwi's Machines" series? It was an interesting and cool idea.

    • Siki_jackson
      Siki_jackson Year ago

      @Joseph's Machines 8 l p009

    • undefined 4235
      undefined 4235 Year ago +1

      @Joseph's Machines I get it, I hope you can do it. Well, we'll wait))

    • Joseph's Machines
      Joseph's Machines  Year ago +6

      It was too expensive! But maybe one day I'll be able to make more

  • PatrickLight
    PatrickLight Year ago +1

    The part that spreads moisturizer looks like it removes the moisturizer more than rubs it in

  • Rinad Super star
    Rinad Super star Year ago

    When he put some cream on his face, I thought the hand was slapping him lol 😂

  • Butterfly Playzzz
    Butterfly Playzzz Year ago +2

    This was awsome the makeup applier was super neat the first one not so good lol

  • Sodor TV
    Sodor TV Year ago +66

    1:43 that is the sound of pure fear

  • Lil_nugget69
    Lil_nugget69 Year ago

    With the balloons when you yelled AHHH I laughed really hard

  • Shermeen Omar
    Shermeen Omar Year ago +9

    Joseph : **tries the face washer*
    Also Joseph : **drowns and gets up*

  • DiverseKitty
    DiverseKitty Year ago

    With practice this could actually work!

  • Sejal ☀
    Sejal ☀ 9 months ago

    I hope my mother never watches this video. I love my morning sleep! 😂

  • Ati lakatos
    Ati lakatos 2 months ago

    I could love that idea for my Dad or my mum

  • christina alkhouri

    He’s so creative wow!

  • shaz yana
    shaz yana 10 months ago

    this is awesome but it will be great if we do ourselves😂😂😂