What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang

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  • Published on Jan 5, 2017
  • Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.
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Comments • 5 362

  • nicedog1
    nicedog1 4 years ago +8094

    Rejection hurts because it makes us doubt ourselves but the worst thing is ‘inaction’. As long as you are moving forward, you are doing ok.

    • Doom Guy
      Doom Guy 3 months ago

      Moving forward like the legend himself Eren Eager heeee

    • Zen Patel
      Zen Patel 3 months ago

      Tatakae

    • Bootcamp of Life
      Bootcamp of Life 3 months ago

      Yes, doing nothing is worse, but it is important to learn from the pain, so that it doesn't happen again! If we reject our pain, we will seek pleasure elsewhere but we will never actually understand/fix the pain that was initially there. Make sure you learn, understand why you were rejected and THEN move on :)

    • Aryavardhan Singh
      Aryavardhan Singh 3 months ago +1

      @Someone Was looking for a TATAKAE!

    • nicedog1
      nicedog1 3 months ago

      @i dont simp Lol. She was a girl.

  • Ghost To Lane
    Ghost To Lane 10 months ago +4181

    Im gonna ask for a burger refill at every burger place now. Thank you

    • Jeff Williams
      Jeff Williams 13 days ago

      Um, try something original like a second, free happy ending.

    • JC Morton
      JC Morton 3 months ago

      @Alfredo Humberto geez - that went over your head didn't it?.. thats the point of the comment

    • Alfredo Humberto
      Alfredo Humberto 3 months ago

      @JC Morton That's not how refill works

    • Dead Inside
      Dead Inside 3 months ago

      Did one finally give you one? It'd be great if your journey ends with a place actually giving you a free one.

    • Sowmyayodha1997 Sowmya
      Sowmyayodha1997 Sowmya 3 months ago

      thats a great thought of buliding ur self good luck

  • ClemensAlive
    ClemensAlive 10 months ago +4607

    Yes, yes and double yes!
    Here's a little story from my life:
    When I was 17, I was the most bullied kied in school - BY FAR!
    I then saw that something like a community on that new platform called "TheXvid" was building. (It was 2010)
    So I also started making videos....
    I got laughed at by a couple of HUNDREDS of students EVERY DAY...but I didnt quit. I thought: "When you all hate me anyways, there's no point in quitting."
    5 years later I had one of the most successful TheXvid channels in Germany. (It's this one :) )
    Then I retired from beeing a TheXvidr and started as a consultant for social media strategies in 2017.
    I got rejected exactly 68 times until I signed my first customer for 200$ (lol).
    Today I have clients all over the world. (Silicon Valley, Atlanta, Berlin,...you name it)
    Don't let rejection define you. It is nothing personal.
    In fact, If I would not have been rejected that often, I would not have known what my niche target group even needs...I would just sit there and call myself a failure all the time.

  • Kyle Medina
    Kyle Medina 10 months ago +1136

    Notes:
    - Don't run in the face of rejection, sit through and experience it.
    - Address any concerns the other person may have, and they will feel more comfortable with you. (ex: "Is that weird?")

    • Once Upon a Revenant
      Once Upon a Revenant 29 days ago

      @Wille k I am currently taking college classes, let's see how it goes, first social science went really nice.

    • Once Upon a Revenant
      Once Upon a Revenant 29 days ago

      @Blizzard I get the part of the degree, but the long term relationship I dont know, will it kinda be of a distraction?

    • Blizzard
      Blizzard 29 days ago

      @Once Upon a Revenant you shouldn't have did it highschool you should somehow go and get a degree if you want a long term relationship

    • Once Upon a Revenant
      Once Upon a Revenant 3 months ago

      @carochan86 I might try an associate on art, if that doesn't work I can always go for a trade skill

    • carochan86
      carochan86 3 months ago

      @Once Upon a Revenant hopefully through different jobs you can narrow down your passion. Also not all jobs need college.

  • Jinji
    Jinji 4 months ago +314

    Please also take note of this lesson he imparted: “And then, I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.” That is an underrated statement. Learning how to advocate for yourself, because you know you deserve the best is a very important life skill.

    • Prajakta
      Prajakta 3 months ago +2

      @Joe Bloggs A more apt and realistic way to put it would be "you deserve the best results your efforts can give you"

    • Joe Bloggs
      Joe Bloggs 3 months ago +1

      @Gennaro Russo the best means it's something better than everybody else gets or has gotten. Everybody can't have the best, if everybody had it then it would be average... the average is never the best by definition.

    • Gennaro Russo
      Gennaro Russo 3 months ago +2

      @Joe Bloggs I didn't say otherwise. "You deserve the best" shouldn't be the same as "I should get whatever I want without proving myself".

    • Joe Bloggs
      Joe Bloggs 3 months ago +2

      @Gennaro Russo I was replying to the comment and not the video. "You deserve the best" is bullshit losers say to themselves and become jealous of everybody else. The truth is, you deserve whatever you earn, and it's based on how much effort you put in. If you think "You deserve the best" by default, then why even work? You should just be given everything for free if you deserve the best.

    • Gennaro Russo
      Gennaro Russo 3 months ago +3

      @Joe Bloggs the key point is that he advocated for himself while also really trying to give his best. You can see it pretty clearly in the videos he posted: in the doughnut one he asks expecting a "no" and was caught by surprise when the cashier actually helped him. That probably helped him a lot to see his goal: not asking absurd requests and doing nothing about it but asking weird questions and backing his requests with his own capabilities. Like what happened with the lesson in University, where he came prepared with Powerpoints and everything. I hope I explained myself as English is not my first language.

  • Val3rystar
    Val3rystar 3 months ago +136

    This talk is so amazing! I laughed the entire time but then I cried at the end because I realized how much Ive let my fear of rejection control my life. I felt overwhelmed thinking of the instances Ive let my fear stop me from chasing my dreams. I intend to take back control of my life. Thank you for this life changing talk!

    • Max payne
      Max payne 3 months ago

      @Five o’clock pervert facts

    • Corne Hofman
      Corne Hofman 3 months ago

      I feel you! Been there and still are I think, but we are improving :)

    • Max payne
      Max payne 3 months ago

      @Five o’clock pervert Honestly I thought the same but if it motivates people that's cool

    • Louis Marho Okperuvwe
      Louis Marho Okperuvwe 3 months ago +2

      You can!!!!!!

    • Max payne
      Max payne 3 months ago +2

      You can do it 💪💯🔥🔥🔥

  • J W
    J W 10 months ago +1607

    damn this guy really made a career out of being rejected.
    he needs to go talk to all the simps in the e-girls twitch chats.

    • DSi i
      DSi i 4 months ago +1

      🤣🤣

    • Hassan Ahmed
      Hassan Ahmed 6 months ago +1

      @Ben Kleschinsky nope didnt even know he had one

    • Valenwood
      Valenwood 7 months ago +2

      Lmaoooo

    • Ben Kleschinsky
      Ben Kleschinsky 7 months ago +1

      Anyone remember watching his TheXvid channel back in the day?

  • Mai I.
    Mai I. 3 months ago +27

    "Most successful people do not let rejection define them. They let their reaction to rejection define themselves." Amazing TEDTalk!

  • Lets Learn
    Lets Learn 9 months ago +105

    Don't let rejections define you;
    Let your reaction towards a rejection define you;
    Wowwww. The best talk I have listened to. Thank you so much Jia.

  • Kelly Wakasa
    Kelly Wakasa Year ago +8972

    wow i've watched a lot of ted talks and this is my favorite one. he's so genuine, his story is so relatable and i want a burger refill

    • Jeff Williams
      Jeff Williams 13 days ago

      @Flipsey I'm rejecting your comment....Only 10 days to go now!!!

    • Akinbami Omowale
      Akinbami Omowale 4 months ago

      @Flipsey me too

    • The Wanderer
      The Wanderer 4 months ago

      Better to demand a million dollars from a Billionaire, that way, if just one of them go through...you'll be rich and a drug addict one year after...

    • It's a me!! Mario!!!
      It's a me!! Mario!!! 4 months ago

      We did rejection challenges.

    • Andrej Villania
      Andrej Villania 4 months ago +1

      You killed me at burger refill 🤣🤣🤣

  • Ty Young
    Ty Young 9 months ago +45

    Saw this video recently.
    I went down to a local bar and drank a couple of beers, then before leaving I asked to speak to the manager and I told him how much I liked the placed and asked if he could give me beer on the house...
    No joke he actually brought me a beer on the house!
    Thank you Jia Jiang for the burger refill idea, it may not work on burgers, but it certainly worked with beer.

  • Tushar Pardeshi
    Tushar Pardeshi 4 months ago +23

    One of the nicest and very engaging TEDx talks I've heard recently. The way he uses those anecdotes to drive home his point is absolutely brilliant. I'm positive that many people will find this talk helpful.

  • Nguyễn Thu Trang
    Nguyễn Thu Trang 8 months ago +38

    i don’t remember exactly how many times i’ve watched this ted talk but it still inspires me and give me the power to overcome and deal with rejection in life as the very first time i saw it on TheXvid. Tbh i’m just an English learner and consider Ted as an English learning source but this talk really does me wonders and motivate me to reach out to others alike videos. So appreciate for this guy’s humor and talent 👏

    • David Arvelo
      David Arvelo 4 months ago +2

      @Nguyễn Thu Trang Thank you! 🙏

    • Nguyễn Thu Trang
      Nguyễn Thu Trang 4 months ago +2

      Thank you so much, your comment really made my day. As never in my life did I expect to be given such a wonderful thing from people I don't know. So now I can be more confident in my ability and keep moving forward on my learning journeys. I also hope that you will be successful in whatever paths you choose to follow.

    • David Arvelo
      David Arvelo 4 months ago +2

      Your English is pretty good! Congrats on coming this far on your learning journey. I'd love to know more languages besides just English, so it's nice to see someone else achieve proficiency at it

  • Ibraheem Ahmad
    Ibraheem Ahmad 8 months ago +14

    I have been afraid of rejection my whole life , and I was aware of this but only now I realized how much this fear prevented me from benefiting from so many opportunities...
    I mean.. I would always avoid any situation where there is a slight chance of putting myself in a position where I might be rejected.. this shaped my life and strongly affected my personality
    This has to be changed...

    • Ibraheem Ahmad
      Ibraheem Ahmad 7 months ago

      @pinkroses
      Yeah true... parents must encourage their kids to explore life...
      But there is a fine tuning between this and letting them do whatever they want with no guidance...
      Parenting looks hard tbh :)

    • pinkroses
      pinkroses 8 months ago

      I think this also has to do with parenting. A lot of parents are fear based and try to warn their kids to only go on the path they say otherwise they will fail. This causes people to grow up and either do what they are told, be fearful of others and other paths, or stay stagnant in fear of doing something because doing nothing keeps them safe.

  • BluEthan
    BluEthan 2 years ago +5082

    6 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from rejection
    30 years old he walked out of a classroom crying from acceptance

    • Saul Gonzalez
      Saul Gonzalez 9 months ago

      @Dante Toshiro64 lol sorry and your your welcome.

    • joker
      joker 10 months ago

      crying out of joy

    • emi knapheide
      emi knapheide 10 months ago +3

      @ciaran Well then that is your sister. But don't assume that everyone is like that. I am not for example.

    • ciaran
      ciaran 10 months ago

      @emi knapheide my own siter said women wanted to be treated mean. Theyll respect their boyfriends more

  • Manuel Manolo
    Manuel Manolo 10 months ago +113

    A little context some people might not know about: South east asian countries and china in particular value group cohesion and and the oppinion of others very much.
    This must have truly been a traumatic experience for little Jia

    • nanabaws
      nanabaws 9 months ago +1

      Try adoption for a rejection trauma... consider it... if you can...

  • Amy Petrie
    Amy Petrie 9 months ago +25

    truly one of the most inspiring 15 mins ive ever had. Ive found myself trying to explain this ted talk to people multiple times. I havent necessarily embraced it - im still afraid of rejection - but it has impacted me profoundly in that I keep coming back to it. I will get there!

    • boxing elf is
      boxing elf is 4 months ago +3

      You probably know this, but it's okay that you're still afraid. I don't think fear actually goes away, instead what I think happens is that you gain the confidence to overcome it. So as you said, you will get there! Just keep trying your best!

  • Faizah Ibnat
    Faizah Ibnat 10 months ago +12

    This was so inspirational, I really needed this at this point of my life

  • Kurtis McAllister
    Kurtis McAllister 8 months ago +24

    hands down one of the best ted talks ever, dudes so genuine in his approach, and funny. good job!

  • George Higgins
    George Higgins 11 months ago +2551

    This is possibly one of the most inspiring ted talks I've ever seen.

    • Rommel Canoy
      Rommel Canoy 3 months ago

      for sure

    • Josiah Fickinger
      Josiah Fickinger 4 months ago +1

      It's probably because it's a very relevant problem, and he has very good teaching skills.

    • blessed7fold
      blessed7fold 4 months ago +1

      100% Agreed.

    • Hassan Ahmed
      Hassan Ahmed 6 months ago +3

      the best one ever i was so hooked kept on repeating some words .... didnt think so many would agree with me

    • Randy Ira Jose Llamas
      Randy Ira Jose Llamas 7 months ago +3

      Agreed! I loved it!

  • Elisaa🌼
    Elisaa🌼 3 months ago +5

    This was fantastic thank you so much Jia Jiang! I will put this into practice I'm tired of being terrified of rejection 🙌🏼

  • neptronix
    neptronix 2 months ago +6

    Some years ago this guy taught me to actually get out there and start asking questions boldly. It was a skill i needed at the time. After thinking about this video some, i decided to imitate it. It lead me to finally start my business.
    Thank you, Jia Jiang, and TED, for having him.

  • Shreesh Chhabbi
    Shreesh Chhabbi 3 months ago +5

    Thank you for the refreshing talk! I have always observed that if I knock the door multiple times when I really wanted something, I have always got what I wanted. But I keep forgetting it due to that 6 year old child that kept getting rejected in childhood. We really need to suppress that pessimistic child in us and get the optimistic child out.

  • WishU DBest
    WishU DBest 6 months ago +6

    This is an eye opening talk. I ran away several times with my fear of rejection. Now I know it doesnt hurt to at least ask what I want. Thank you so much.8

  • Tommy D
    Tommy D 5 years ago +5022

    I'll never forget being 8 yrs old in the drive-thru w/ my dad telling me that rejection is nothing to be afraid of (he IS an amazing salesperson), and then proving it by asking for a FREE large order of fries at the drive-thru speaker at McDonalds. He joked with the cashier for a second, then asked again. She laughed and said "I don't think that's possible," and my father said, "We would love it if you could do it!" and pulled forward.
    What do ya know...the girl hands us our order. NO fries. Then she turns to grab something else...THE BIGGEST BAG OF FRENCH FRIES I'VE EVER SEEN. It was. an. entire. bag. of. fries. All these employees start laughing. My face must have lit up. To this DAY, I've never seen that many french fries at one time. These people EMPTIED the stockroom to make this thing. Laughter abounds. A lesson learned...
    And somewhere, a lost french fry rests silently beneath the seat of an '88 Ford Taurus...
    AWESOME VID!

    • Maurice Taylor
      Maurice Taylor 3 months ago

      You'd have been better off paying for the small portion.

    • Tachy Bunker
      Tachy Bunker 10 months ago

      Loved that story.

    • are you kirring me irriyaa?
      are you kirring me irriyaa? 10 months ago

      this is wholesome

    • Suitably
      Suitably 10 months ago

      Great story Tom

    • ElllE THEORY
      ElllE THEORY 11 months ago

      @Y Its not in the asking. It's in the way of asking. No Jedi mind tricks though. won't work. Yoda it, you must and ask for why, you did?

  • Christian Sookdeo
    Christian Sookdeo 7 months ago +8

    For all my sales people out there: “Rejection” doesn’t become rejection once you’ve gotten over that fear. It turns from an emotional reaction to a logical pathway to success. Finding the true root of the concern, nothing to do with you personally.

  • Arina Vrabie
    Arina Vrabie 7 months ago +11

    This is my absolute favorite TED talk. Hilarious and deep on so many levels. Thank you!!

  • nadine c
    nadine c 7 months ago +8

    This was a very inspirational and entertaining tedtalk video. I love his story and insights about rejection; the things that he did in order to achieve what he wanted was truly adorable. I could watch this over and over without getting bored.

  • AfriLife Wealth
    AfriLife Wealth 2 months ago

    What an inspiring talk. Defo one of my favourites. His delivery, content, and above all poignant message.

  • Seven Aries
    Seven Aries 10 months ago +6602

    "Never reject yourself before they reject you"
    - Me 2021

    • Demem
      Demem Month ago +1

      Never gonna give you up
      - Rick Astley

    • Daniel B.
      Daniel B. 3 months ago

      No offense but it is kind of dumb because it mean you can reject yourself after the first rejection, lol.

    • R Dh
      R Dh 3 months ago

      Rejection is protection

    • wibbuffey [alt]
      wibbuffey [alt] 3 months ago

      "If they reject you, move them down on the food pyramid."
      - Me, 2022

    • Calypso
      Calypso 4 months ago +1

      pretentious much?
      -Me 2022

  • D Shufflz
    D Shufflz 3 months ago +1

    Man this was so brilliant! Loved hearing your journey and what you learned along the way. 10/10 delivery as well, great lesson, thank you for sharing!

  • Shanshaniese
    Shanshaniese 3 months ago +1

    Thank you for posting this! This sparked something in me to challenge myself when it comes to rejection because I too cannot take rejection lol you've sparked an idea in me, so thank you!

  • Isabella lenchik
    Isabella lenchik 4 months ago +9

    This was a very interesting and eye-opening video for me. I often fear rejection and it fuels my self-doubt which leads to missed opportunities. I think I should try 100 days of rejection as well, it could be really beneficial for me.

  • Study with Froza
    Study with Froza 9 months ago +4

    Today, there was a function in our college ....and all of students just taking part in like speech and songs and many other things.....so I decided to take part in that function.....I prepared a poetry and went there .....I was sooo excited.....I got rejected ......by every single person one after another..... including my classmates and I was just acting like....ohh .. wow .....it doesn't matter and that ....but it was affecting me in all the languages......than I came backinto my room in the the middle of function and slept for 9 straight hours......just to fade that whole freakin feeling .....idk how to name it but it was terrible than.....I woke up....I opened youtube and I clicked on this videoooo.......and now I'm feeling better ...... thanks

  • Jero Dapidap
    Jero Dapidap 5 years ago +1682

    I like how he turned a serious matter in life into humor

    • Nick Gamez
      Nick Gamez 2 years ago +7

      well it is stand up comedy

    • Mark Mangaliman
      Mark Mangaliman 3 years ago +24

      That’s how many comedians work.

    • Peter
      Peter 3 years ago +39

      Necessary public speech skills in order to attract the audience's attention.

  • Aniket Bhakre
    Aniket Bhakre 9 months ago +7

    Wow, I've never stood up to rejection that way. Something so common sense yet I always dodged it.. Learnt a great lesson today. Many thanks 😊😊😊

  • JupiMeow
    JupiMeow 3 months ago

    This is so great! Revisiting this after a few years and taking away new lessons. I love how he identified a defining moment for him as a child and then worked to heal that child. Rejection therapy reminds me of the bee venom immunotherapy I've been wanting to do. And as for technology to help people overcome rejection... I'm thinking about how we can use VR to simulate situations of us getting rejected so that we feel better being rejected by real people. So much to think about.

  • Josue TheKing
    Josue TheKing 4 months ago +2

    This was good Jia, I have suffered from rejection plenty of times and I still do. It does make me stronger and able to accept rejection much more.

  • Anushka
    Anushka 3 months ago

    I legit needed this! So great of you to bring such subjects to us. ✨

  • elleste
    elleste 4 years ago +4416

    if burger refill becomes a thing, it's because of this guy

    • cristiana
      cristiana 10 months ago

      @Beede Bawng On another note, I’d like a burger refill, please

    • cristiana
      cristiana 10 months ago +1

      @Beede Bawng I laughed way too hard at this comment

    • Beede Bawng
      Beede Bawng 10 months ago +4

      If burger refill becomes a thing, consider it the permanent demise of the western world.

    • S I O M A I
      S I O M A I 10 months ago +1

      He belongs in da history books

    • codeEV
      codeEV Year ago +1

      Man I'd have loved a five guys refill. But then I'd have to play even more soccer to stay in shape

  • c i e l
    c i e l 10 months ago +7

    This is absolutely one of the best talks I've listened to. Thanks, man

  • divya siby
    divya siby 4 months ago +2

    This turned out to one of the most inspiring Ted talks I've ever listened to. Not sure how I missed watching this earlier.

  • Maiara Candido
    Maiara Candido 5 months ago +1

    Uau! Amei essa palestra. Exemplo a ser seguido. Parabéns!!

  • Lita Jane
    Lita Jane 3 months ago

    My God this is amazing, I had and still have fear of rejection. It was really a real-life change when we aware of ti and started to overcome it. Thank you for sharing you are so inspiring.

  • RQ H
    RQ H 2 years ago +1579

    This guy should totally start a career of stand-up comedy! He's got a natural and effortless sense of humor around him

    • Blast King
      Blast King 10 months ago

      This comedy is the result of hardwork. He obviously shouldn't start a career of stand-up comedy

    • Thendup Sherpa
      Thendup Sherpa 10 months ago

      @Andy Reiteru surely seem to ve a lot of charm just looking at your comment . What went so wrong with your upbringing ? I feel sad for u my friend .

    • Shubarashi [NeneHusband 6490]
      Shubarashi [NeneHusband 6490] 10 months ago +1

      ​@Andy Reiter Would you find that to be too weird?
      (Come on guys, haven't you learnt anything from the video?)

    • Mr. ParkPlace757 VA
      Mr. ParkPlace757 VA 10 months ago +2

      This is a different atmosphere. In a place where he's supposed to be funny, he get eaten alive.

    • sorry yao
      sorry yao Year ago +5

      @Disavowed Human Being I thought that was American styles?
      English is more towards cynical and mocking others

  • Aneri's Artworld
    Aneri's Artworld 4 months ago +2

    One of the best and simplest and practical and satisfying TED talk I ever watched ❤️❤️Thank you man!!

  • Shirl May
    Shirl May 10 months ago +14

    He reminded me of something… actually the whole world craves for inspiration all the time! Only when they don’t get inspired for too long that people forgot about possibilities sometimes. By stretching them it helps them. By receiving the rejections from them it stretches ourselves. 👍🏻

  • improvemyself
    improvemyself 9 months ago +3

    What an amazing presentation! After this I actually asked my crush out, just asking myself „why not?“. Not exactly hoping for a rejection though, haha. Wish me luck! :)

  • Daniel López
    Daniel López 4 months ago +4

    This Ted Talk just became my favorite one! Wow a big lesson, I feel inspired now to not run when rejection happens. Thanks! Love it

  • Mr. Chicken
    Mr. Chicken 5 years ago +4418

    wow I just asked a girl out she turned me down and this was the first video in my suggestion feed. thanks TheXvid.

    • Giovani Domimguez
      Giovani Domimguez 9 days ago

      Same Mr. Chicken

    • Goku Goku
      Goku Goku 12 days ago

      @Mr. Chicken for real?! Good for you if true😀👍

    • Jeff Williams
      Jeff Williams 13 days ago

      @Mr. Chicken who performed the ceremony between you and your dominant hand?

    • madcowoif357
      madcowoif357 15 days ago

      Let a lady ask you out bro. Then you take the wheel.

    • Mr. Chicken
      Mr. Chicken 17 days ago +1

      @Sania Ghosh I'm married now so... Yeah I'd say so

  • Mihail
    Mihail 8 months ago +3

    Best tedX I’ve watched so far. He is exactly right. How we approach every challenge and obstacle in life is also about attitude on how we handle these rejections .

  • Kate Hu
    Kate Hu 10 months ago +2

    Face your fears and live on. Great talk Jia!

  • Freecheese
    Freecheese 4 months ago +2

    One of the best! I didn't expect his humor or the experience. Loved it.

  • Michael Bann
    Michael Bann 4 months ago

    Great talk! Facing rejection is difficult and your story is inspiring.

  • Sushant Manandhar
    Sushant Manandhar 2 years ago +9455

    Jia: Can I do a Ted talk about being rejected?
    Ted: Sure thing bro
    Jia: (wtf dude you're supposed to say no)

  • ufoalus
    ufoalus 10 months ago +1

    So inspirational. Many people struggle with this. Thank you Jia Jiang for spreading the knowledge. :)

  • Jihee W
    Jihee W 4 months ago +2

    sometimes I come here and watch it again when I got rejected from interviews... this is the one of funniest ted talks I have ever seen. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  • Cami M
    Cami M 4 months ago +1

    Just got the 3 pack of the game(: excited to have this extra push to help me with my anxiety and agoraphobia, I'd love to be out in the world without caring if people think I'm crazy, or if they're out to get me.

  • Dominic Clay
    Dominic Clay 7 months ago +1

    Bravo, Mister Ja! What a wonderful and enlightened speech, I am so touched and inspired now to do all the scary things in my life♥️👍🏻👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • enshi sin
    enshi sin 2 years ago +2026

    After her graduation ceremony at school, my daughter wanted to have a nice dinner at a famous restaurant. When we walked in, the waiter told us that the restaurant was fully book and asked us to come back the nextday and made a reservation first.
    We walked out of the door . Then I remembered something. I walked in again and asked the waiter while pointing at a reserved table : ‘when are the guests supposed to show up?’ In one hour.
    So i gave him an offer : if he can prepare the food in 15 minutes, we would dine and got out of there in 30 minutes. He thought for a minute and we had our dinner there.
    On the way out my wife asked me how I managed to do that. Without turning my head, I said : ‘I watched this stupid video by a guy named Jia on TheXvid and gave it a shot...........’

    • Bonafied
      Bonafied 9 months ago

      He’s using stupid as a idiom guys, sheesh lol

    • Ko ala
      Ko ala 10 months ago

      well done :)

    • Nicole Raheem
      Nicole Raheem 10 months ago +2

      @redmanticore 😂😂 The realistic version

    • redmanticore
      redmanticore 10 months ago +2

      "
      So I gave him an offer: if he can prepare the food.."
      the receptionist answered: what are you on about? only reservations accepted. kindly leave our premises, sir.
      my daughter replied: you are embarrassing me, dad, what are you doing...? let's just go...
      I started vocally arguing with the receptionist, then fighting with him, getting arrested, and ruined our daughter´s big day.

    • Edward Kibirige
      Edward Kibirige 10 months ago +3

      @Selena Ramoutar He meant it jokingly

  • Eve Michael
    Eve Michael 9 months ago +1

    Wow, so smart, so well spoken. And most of all so courageous .

  • Eve Michael
    Eve Michael 9 months ago

    His way of providing a speech is so relatable and down to earth and easy for the crowd to relate and engage. Love his quality.

  • Randy Ira Jose Llamas
    Randy Ira Jose Llamas 7 months ago +1

    Beautiful talk! It’s obvious that he is a good man and he truly deserves the acclaim! Keep rocking Jia Jiang!

  • gwenxo
    gwenxo 9 months ago

    Wish I clicked on this sooner! Learnt something valuable and also got a few laughs. Definitely one of my favorites now, thanks Jia!✨

  • tara ss
    tara ss 3 years ago +464

    My teacher once told me something that really helped. She said don't be scared to ask, all someone can do is say "no", they can't do anything worse than that. I don't know why it really had an impact on me.

    • Max payne
      Max payne 3 months ago +1

      @Ultimate Machine facts 💯

    • Max payne
      Max payne 3 months ago +1

      Depends what you're asking... Could be way worse than No

    • Peter
      Peter 10 months ago

      "I thought you were a Knight in shining armor, but it turns out you're just a loser in tinfoil" - Someone on Twitter getting rejected

    • Camryn Pope
      Camryn Pope 10 months ago +6

      @Ultimate Machine Maybe white women, but as a black woman, it's completely different. We all live very different lives. Women in America, even white women do not have it easy. Try being a woman for one day smh. It's not an easy life but I am proud to be a woman. Not trying to argue with you, just speaking from my personal experience.

  • Beckley Smith
    Beckley Smith 4 months ago +110

    • Emmanuel Ransom
      Emmanuel Ransom 4 months ago

      @Gennie's view Let him know that I referred to you!

    • Emmanuel Ransom
      Emmanuel Ransom 4 months ago

      @Gennie's view *Harvey Barrett Fx*

    • Emmanuel Ransom
      Emmanuel Ransom 4 months ago

      @Gennie's view kindly reach out to Harvey Barrett FX, he will be of greater help to you

    • Emmanuel Ransom
      Emmanuel Ransom 4 months ago

      @Gennie's view He is very popular among brokers and I must say he is an outstanding broker too, I saw him once on Chris Hogan channel and contacted him shortly after, investing in forex has been very profitable ever since.

  • Chronade NALLYWAYS
    Chronade NALLYWAYS 3 months ago

    My favorite TED Talk of all time! Here's to light at the end of the dark tunnel of rejection! 🥂

  • Versatile SSE
    Versatile SSE 10 months ago

    Beautifully shared...very valuable insight on such an important fear we all share 🙏

  • Lmc
    Lmc 17 days ago +1

    Such a great talk and presentation, I was engaged the entire time

  • CoSmic Muse
    CoSmic Muse 3 months ago +1

    When I was 13, there was some corruption in a public speaking competition in my school. Up until that day I was always an ace on stage. Even on that day I remember giving my absolute best performance and yet my award was sabotaged. It was pre-planned but a kid wouldn't understand that kind of stuff. I suffered the biggest shock and thought all those years of me winning several titles and awards and compliments were all a lie and that I was actually no-good. I didn't even get placed a runner up. I was absolutely devastated.
    I didn't know that this now 26 year old beautiful and successful woman still saw herself in such a terrible light of a failure because of that incident 13 years ag0o and my fear of rejection is REAL too. Jee, thank you for this TED talk. It reminded me of that day and the deep seated trauma I had suffered and really opened my eyes. I'm never gonna repeat that pattern in my life. I'm breaking free now.
    P.S. Funny that he mentioned Martin Luther King jr. The speech that I gave on that day was actually his legendary speech - Dream. I still remember it clear as day. If anyone of you had been there, watching me, you'd have known the power my words held. It had moved people to tears; including myself as I spoke the last 2 lines. I didn't lose because I wasn't good enough, that day. I lost because I thought I did.

  • Jeff Wang
    Jeff Wang 6 months ago

    I wanted to be an entrepreneur and experienced rejection too. Your story brought tears to my eyes.

  • blessed7fold
    blessed7fold 4 months ago

    This was the best Ted Talk I think I have ever seen. Wow! This guys was so real, genuine and relatable.

  • Vicen
    Vicen 2 months ago +1

    I am not crying, you are...
    This came in such a perfect time after being rejected so many times now

  • technicalleon
    technicalleon 29 days ago

    This was really enlightening as someone who also struggles with the fear of rejection.

  • JeremyGWoods
    JeremyGWoods 4 months ago +1

    This is probably one of the most life-changing Ted Talks I've seen (and I've watched a lot of them).

  • thechiliz
    thechiliz 9 months ago +1

    one of the best Ted talks for sure, what an inspiring man, thanks a lot!

  • Clifton Cameron
    Clifton Cameron 4 months ago

    Jia, this is the absolute truth. Thank you for sharing your incredible story.

  • Ajith Kumar
    Ajith Kumar 3 years ago +4315

    Rejected Continuously in 28 interviews....just to be a Software Developer in 29th Interview..Happy that I didn't Give Up...

    • Pierre Miniggio
      Pierre Miniggio 5 months ago

      @whatthefuckor idk where you're from, but the company I currently work for is based in Toulouse, France. And we only speak french at work.

    • whatthefuckor
      whatthefuckor 5 months ago

      @Pierre Miniggio that’s what I’ve heard as well! Is your company hiring for software engineers and can I get a referral from you?

    • Dr0PPA ZETI
      Dr0PPA ZETI 10 months ago

      @Joshua Garcia couldn't agree more, bro - there is a reason the strong survive and the weak-minded fail. it's the same in the corporate world as it is in nature nd thatsa just how it is - adapt, or take yourself out of the game.

    • Flycly Fire
      Flycly Fire 11 months ago +1

      Damn that's dedication

    • renucreate
      renucreate 11 months ago

      @Versus thanks for the information. Need to learn algorithms...

  • Key Zza
    Key Zza 4 months ago

    Wow. This is just what I need at this juncture of my life. Thank you for the superb and inspiring talk.

  • Durvoni Tyejörand
    Durvoni Tyejörand 7 months ago

    There are hundreds of amazing talks in TED, I don't doubt. But this one really touches something in my soul.

  • Brian Anderson
    Brian Anderson 10 months ago +3

    I love how when the audience laughs he doesn't skip a beat and it doesn't seem to inflate his ego, genuine dude 😚

  • Jimmy Farley
    Jimmy Farley 7 months ago

    Amazing speech. So funny and genuine. 🙌

  • Kevin Armstrong
    Kevin Armstrong 10 months ago +694

    I've said for years that the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure, when in fact failure is a necessary part of success. Jia Jiang you did the best job of illustrating this that I have ever seen! Great talk.

    • R Johnson
      R Johnson 4 months ago +5

      @Xinwei Li doctors lose patients all the time, Li. Medical errors kill ~50,000 to ~100,000 patients in the United States alone. you missed my point entirely. if you want to be a top cardiologist, oncologist or brain surgeon, you are GOING TO LOSE PATIENTS. you're not God. but these "failures" are essential to creating the very best doctors. to be the best, you have to take on the most challenging cases, and in these hospitals, patients die.

    • Mr. ♟️
      Mr. ♟️ 4 months ago +5

      @R Johnson my interpretation is that he believes those who followed the traditional academic route are more likely to have a fear of failure. This is because the path is already there for us and we just have to follow it. We get anxious and scare when we stray from that path. This is what I think he meant

    • R Johnson
      R Johnson 4 months ago +3

      @Mr. ♟️ that's exactly what he meant, Luigi. "the more formal education people have, the more it is reinforced to avoid failure"
      what is more "formal" than the doctors, attorneys, engineers from the top-ranked universities in the US who make the highest grades and essentially do NOT go on to "fail" but achieve great success (to your point)?

    • Mr. ♟️
      Mr. ♟️ 4 months ago +3

      @R Johnson i don't think that's what he meant by failure avoidance.

  • David O'Connor
    David O'Connor 3 months ago

    awesome talk, world class content and presentation... well done Sir :)

  • Walter S.
    Walter S. 4 months ago +1

    someone out there must have a parent who has continued pushing through in the face of rejection and you never really put much into it while growing up. Now it's time to appreciate your parent.

  • Joseph Dungee
    Joseph Dungee 7 months ago +12

    HAD to clap at the end of his presentation. THAT was Inspirational!

  • Bangtanmuse BTS
    Bangtanmuse BTS 3 months ago

    What a great talk and messages. Love this.

  • Sami Aziz
    Sami Aziz 5 years ago +353

    He seems so genuinely happy with his life now, teaching about rejection and social change. I rarely see that much fulfilment on someone's face, when he talked about the book and teaching near the end.

    • Michelle P
      Michelle P 3 years ago +3

      his grandma is happy that he's finally a teacher after all :D

    • Tony swe
      Tony swe 3 years ago +2

      Sami Aziz agree. He seems so genuinely happy with his life.

  • Farhan Ahmed
    Farhan Ahmed 4 months ago +1

    I couldn't believe it was such a short and informative speech...Loved every second of it

  • Vichelle FRB
    Vichelle FRB 4 months ago

    I love it. It's very inspiring. ❤️

  • Chantel Sinaise
    Chantel Sinaise 4 months ago

    I thoroughly enjoyed this. Wow. Beautiful lesson.

  • Marina_ 88
    Marina_ 88 3 months ago

    He's awesome. Period. I've learned and laugh so much from this, THANK U !!!

  • Whose Wine Is It Anyway?

    Read his book some years ago. Loved it. What stood out was within the first 5-10 mins, I realized that Jia and I had the same idea of gamifying promises made between friends and family. Pretty neat stuff.

  • Maureen Russakoff
    Maureen Russakoff 4 months ago

    My motto (when I had to knock on the door and speak to strangers prospecting with business owners) was; No one can reject you, they can only reject what they think you represent in their minds.

  • Andrew Shu
    Andrew Shu 8 months ago +1

    just finished watching, what Jia Jiang shared was truly wonderful, inspiring & motivating. keep up good work Jia Jiang!!! I am going ask for burger refill next time :-)

  • Kamran Hashmi
    Kamran Hashmi 4 months ago

    Such a lovely guy! Heart touching ❤️

  • Stllbn
    Stllbn 3 years ago +548

    I've watched this so many times and still laugh, it never gets old. This is the TED Talk that turned my life around, and trust me when I say I've watched too many to count. For a few years now, I have "practiced" almost every day -even with really small attempts at getting rejected- and it really changed my life. Better career, better entourage, a loooot of money saved and opportunities created.. I feel so grateful that I once stumbled upon this video and encourage y'all to do the same !!

    • Jesús Peralta
      Jesús Peralta 2 years ago

      What did you start to do so your life changed?

    • A T
      A T 2 years ago +2

      Stllbn girrrrl good for you! Cheers to the women who find their strength in this world! Now light the path for others, were all meant to learn and teach 🙏

    • LusitanoDeGema
      LusitanoDeGema 2 years ago +32

      @TheMarioMen1 boy you need some water

    • TheMarioMen1
      TheMarioMen1 2 years ago +2

      Stllbn damn you’re stunning how are you even suffering from rejection? I’d never reject ya 😉

    • M. Xxx
      M. Xxx 2 years ago

      Stllbn emm 🤔

  • Sentient Anomaly
    Sentient Anomaly 4 months ago +1

    In my personal experience, I've often just "asked" for things doing all the things this guy tells you to do, and it mostly didn't work. On the contrary, I find that if you are in a position where you "have" to ask (meaning, you are NOT in a position of power/control over things), then the answer is always no. Of course, I wasn't asking for silly things like burger refills or Olympic shaped donuts. Maybe when you ask weird things like that it has a more likely chance to work.

  • Black Velvet Magazine
    Black Velvet Magazine 4 months ago

    Love this. Thanks for inspiring us.

  • Rhulani Masia
    Rhulani Masia 4 months ago

    I LOVED this! Such a genuine and funny TedTalk.